Seeing Sparks
by ashinsai
Summary: After Corypheus is defeated the Qunari Inquisitor aquires a new mage for her party while old friends seem to disappear. While searching for one of those, that new mage tries to find her place with the Inquisitors subordinates and maybe more.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the first story I ever published and I guess it's finished now, if I should not feel the need to write a sequel. ;) Every input is appreciated, corrections and all. As I am not a native speaker and sadly lack someone to proofread please bear with me if there are stupid mistakes. I hope you find as much joy in reading this as writing it gave me._

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><p>Inquisitor Adaar let her eyes roam around her courtyard.<p>

Here and there people were milling around and going about their business. Soldiers and templars were training side by side. And sometimes you could see a lone mage tend to the wounded or talk to a sister of the chantry.

It was a peaceful scene, one she would not have anticipated just days before. The battles against Corypheus' mage army had been hard and taken their toll. But in the end they triumphed.

All their losses in the process, never forgotten, had meaning through this final victory.

The Inquisitor smiled. She had some plans for the night. Another game of wicked grace with the guys and afterwards .. oh afterwards. She looked over to the tavern, where she knew the Bull was drinking, talking, laughing with his brothers in arms.

Her gaze fell on a single figure, sitting before the tavern. A female mage sat there, her hands folded in her lap and looking silently up to the towers on the battlements.

She had seen that particular mage before. It was one of the healers they had aquired near Redcliffe before the majority of the mages had fallen prey to Corypheus' ambitions. Usually she was at the back of the fray, tending to the soldiers wounds and flinging lightning at every foe that came near. Her eyes seemed lively then, her dark hair standing on end, while raw energy crackled on her hands. Now she looked very small, lonely and sad, those blue eyes gazing into nothingness.

"Hey you!" Adaar saw herself walking towards the woman. She waved und smiled a big smile she hoped was as non threatening as a giant Qunari-woman like her could muster.

The mage looked up to her and immediately stood up to bow. There where not that many Qunari at the keep and in no way Adaar could be mistaken for anyone other than the Inquisitor.

"Lady Inquisitor." the mage bowed "How may I serve you?" The horned woman laughed.

"You are an eager one aren't you? Sit back down, don't put a strain on those fine legs. I just want to talk."

The mage seemed puzzled but sat down on the rough wood of the bench again. She fiddled nervously with her hands. "Talk? What about pray tell?"

"Everything .. like: Who are you? Where are you from? One has to know their followers I say." Adaar tried to look as sociable as possible. "I just want to know my people. I saw you fight with our army, but sadly I don't know you." She frowned. "To be true, I don't know half of these people as well as I'd like to. But I know these are good men and women. The commander probably knows most of the men at arms quite well .. but you are a mage." She ended her monologue and looked at the other woman expectantly.

"That I am .. a mage I mean." her brows drew together over hooded eyes. "I was born in Ferelden and lived there, almost all my life. I was in the circle of course, the tower in the middle of lake Calenhad .. it was my home for so many years." She sighed.

"Wasn't the Hero of Ferelden from the fereldan circle of mages?" Adaars face lit up. It was one of the few finer details about the fifth blight that she remembered.

"Well yes, she was. Neria Surana was .." For a moment she looked thoughful "Neria IS an outstanding mage. Her proficiency with firemagic could not be matched by any of us. Maybe it has to do with her elven heritage."

"So she was a great mage, but what kind of person was she?" Adaar seemed almost giddy. Here she had someone in her entourage who knew the Hero of Fereldan and she did not know.

"To be true, I did not know her all that well. Sorry." The mage cast her eyes down. "She was almost always with that guy, Jowan. Maker knows what she saw in him. He was .. not good for her. Or for anyone, let's just keep it at that." Now she looked upset, curious. But if she did not want to elaborate Adaar did not want to ask.

"So. That's that. You left the circle when the uprising began?"

"Yes, and fled to Redcliffe with a group of some other mages and two templars. They where good people. The templars, good men. They fought with us and died for us." Adaar could almost feel waves of guilt coming off of the woman.

"Ser Liften caught a strike meant for me. He did not even know more than my name. But he vowed to protect us and protect us he did. I could not heal him .. all my magic was not enough." The mage looked at her hands crestfallen. "I asked myself then: what good did it ever do me."

Adaar put her hand on the mages shoulder. "I saw you help many people here at the keep. So I guess it did our cause good at least."

"Helping, beeing of use to the inquisition, it was good." the mage nodded. "But what if I'm no longer needed?"

"Hah!" The qunari laughed. "How could you not? There is still good reasons to fight for all over Orlais and Ferelden. Our army needs healers as well as soldiers. As long as you want it, you have a cause here .. and a home." She shook her head smiling. What a stupid girl that was. Adaar stood slowly. "Wait .. your name. You forgot to answer that question."

"It's Asha your grace." the small woman replied almost at the edge of hearing.

"A.. what?"

"Asha Amell, your grace." she said a little louder.

"Rejoice Asha, you're invited." Adaar grinned with a sudden idea. The mage looked puzzled.

"You're going to join a little round of wicked grace this evening and I won't take no for an answer. I'm the Inquisitor after all, it's an order. Meet me here when night falls or I will find you." She bared a row of distractingly white teeth in a terrifying grin.

"But I .." Asha began to say, but caught herself "Yes, Lady Inquisitor."

It was an order after all, so what were her options. And it could be fun, surely. But as she watched Adaar walk back towards the keep her heart skipped a beat. Wait. "A small round of wicked grace" .. Who would that include? It couldn't be.

She looked up to the battlements again and shook her head, trying to win back her composure in the cold air of the frostback mountains. There was nothing she could do but wait what the evening would entail.

The wounds of one of the soldiers in their care had festered and she had spent half the day grinding up elfroot for potions and collecting cobwebs to assist the healing process.

Miraculously there were many spider's webs lately, so at least she had not much trouble finding some. Asha did not care much for spiders, but at least the small kind did not bother her that much. Those that stood up to a mans height and had fangs as thick as the trunks of small trees where another matter entirely. Luckily they had left those behind in the hinterlands and she had not to fight any since then.

Now a completely different fight awaited her. Asha was poised to flee as she waited before the tavern for the Inquisitor to lead her to a friendly game of .. doom. At least she felt that was what awaited her.

Who was she to be invited to play with the Inquisitor and her friends? It was unreal. Maybe it was a joke. That had to be it .. a joke. Asha gave a little laugh as this insight dawned on her. But just as she turned to go a heavy hand landed on her shoulder.

"So where do you think you are going, little lady?" Asha froze on the spot. The male voice behind her chuckled. "She told me to get you, so don't you think of fleeing. She does not take well to this." He said, slowly turning her around by her shoulders.

"I'm not little." Asha said defiantly, but in a small voice.

"Hah, if you're my size almost everyone is." The Bull laughed heartily. "But I won't call you that anymore if you don't want me to."

"You won't?" Asha looked doubtful at the giants chest. She turned her head up and let her gaze wander to the underside of his prominent chin.

"No, I won't. I don't think it's fitting you all that well." The man who called himself the Iron Bull grinned. "I will find a better name for you .. Sparks."

Asha closed her fists forcefully and quenched the blue ribbons of energy that threatened to spill from her fingertips. She had almost let her fear get the better of her. Surrounded by templars and face to .. chest with one of the biggest Qunari she'd ever seen this was not a good idea.

"A bit twitchy are you? Hah!" The Bull did not seem concerned at all. "Let's see how you hold your own in a game of cards Sparks. Let's not keep them waiting any longer or she may keep me waiting later on."

Half walking herself, half being shoved by a giant hand, Asha entered the tavern. It was warm and candles burned at the tables. The smells of ale and people mingled in the nights air.

At a long table the finest heads of the inquisition sat together, laughing, talking, drinking.

Adaar rose from her seat and beckoned the mage to sit on another one right at her side.

As Asha meekly sat down at the Inquisitors left, the Bull took his place to Adaars right, squeezing her butt in the process. This earned him a light punch on the arm, that would probably have felled a lesser man and a wink of his lover, promising retaliation later on.

"Friends, meet one of our mages." the Inquisitor proclaimed happily. It seemed she already had one or two drinks and was in an excellent mood. "I met her today, looking all forlorn and I can't have that."

Adaar put a tankard down in front of Asha and clapped her on the back. The mage had to fight, to not embarress herself by dipping her nose into her drink at the impact.

Asha looked at the people at the table through cast down eyes. She felt awfully out of place. Beside her the beautiful Antivan, that organized all diplomatic matters at the keep smelled of sweet perfume and good cheer.

"Capital, the more the merrier." she pronounced and gave the mage a winning smile. "Some fresh blood at our table will surely make the game even more interesting."

"Fresh blood? I do not hope so and don't remind me." the dwarf Varric groaned from the other end of the table. "I saw the Bull cut a man in half just yesterday. I've seen enough blood for the rest of the week .. guts too."

"He was not cut into half." forementioned Bull protested "Four parts in one swing it was! New record."

The dwarf shook is head and the third man at the table looked a bit white around the nose. "How did you even? .. No, wait. I don't want to know." Commander Cullen, the leader of the keeps army had killed his own share of enemies, but did not seem to enjoy it half as much as the Qunari.

As he squinted at the newcomer at the table he became very still. "I remember you." he said slowly. "Enchanter Amell it was?"

"Yes Ser." the mage looked hard at her tankard, as if she were seeking a deeper truth in its dephts.

"Hm." he settled back into silence.

"What's with you lot? Let's play cards already." The Bull boomed across the table.

Sera the nimble elven girl dealt the cards. Asha was not surprised to see Seeker Cassandra and Lady Leliana at the table as well.

The mistress of spys disconcerted her. The woman had a hard gaze, even in this merry round of friends she had joined. When Asha caught a glimpse of her, during her stay at the circle at the time of the fifth blight the red haired woman had seemed so much warmer. She remembered hearing her sing with Neria, who apparently tried to teach her an old elven lullaby at the time.

Lelianas voice was still beautiful, but it lacked much of the warmth it had back then. Or maybe Asha was mistaken, she did not really know the woman. It was preposterous to think, she could judge her from the snippets she gleamed from the sidelines.

A light tap on the upper arm snapped her from her musings. "Are you in?" the Antivan asked. It was obvious the words had been uttered repeatedly and Asha hurried to make her call.

The game proceeded smoothly and soon everyone started to tell stories, mostly of a raucous kind.

"You are the newcomer at our table." Varric took the mage into his sights, "I think it's just fair to hear one of your tales. We had already heard all of Blackwalls, so maybe it's good you're here tonight." The dwarf smiled invitingly and everyone else at the table was nodding lightly, indicating there was no choice but to think of something.

"I have been quite the sheltered circle-mage." She weakly tried to wiggle out of her predicament.

"I don't know if I can come up with something as amusing.."

"Bullshit." The Iron Bull boomed. "I know you got something on you, can see that glint in your eye. Out with it!" He laughed and Asha relented.

"I'll try, but .. this was really bad." The tips of her ears reddened, if from the ale consumed or shame about the tale to come, who could say.

"So, when I was still an apprentice at the circle. I must have been thirteen or fourteen years old at the time, me and some of my friends got into a stash of fine wines that belonged to one of the enchanters." She began her story while the others looked on expectantly.

"As we were basically kids, not used to drinking and not into drinking responsibly at all, you can imagine what happened. Not long after we found the bottles, all of us were hopelessly drunk and full of bad ideas."

"Not that kids at that age tend to be full of good ideas at the best of times, eh?" Varric chuckled.

It earned him a smile from the mage. "I guess not. However, it was decided, that I should walk up to a templar and steal a kiss. Maker knows why I went along with it, I was usually never that daring."

"Wait, why a templar? Stuck up, armoured, armed? You did not think about that much did you?" Adaar shook her head.

"I'd have done it, stuck up? So what? More's the reason." Sera piped up.

"You are right, it was no good idea and potentially dangerous, especially at how inebriated I was at the time." Asha nodded and put some coins on the table as it was her turn. Her hand was mediocre, a low pair, but she decided on bluffing.

"So there was this one recruit, that barely ever wore a helmet and he was standing guard at our floor. Lucky." A wry smile grazed her lips.

"The others were hiding around a corner and giggling hysterically I believe, while I walked up to that poor sod, full of false bravado and wine, lots of wine." As if on cue she took a swig from her ale.

"The man tried to call out to me, the usual: 'Halt, who goes there? ... Stop it mage, I said stop .. Please? What are you ...?'

I guess the pleading part was not quite usual, but he was as lost as me I guess. Totally out of his dephts with my continued, less than steady and silent advance. I had to concentrate on walking straight that much, I did not bring out a word." She sighed.

"So I kept on walking .. or more like swaying towards him. Poor guy looked like he was about to run. Luckily for me it did not seem to occur to him, that I may not be a dumb, drunk girl, but maybe n abomination, a demon in disguise. My behaviour was certainly odd enough, so I was fortunate he did not draw steel on me."

Asha looked into the round briefly and was prompted to continue with her tale by the others.

"Well, he did not draw but I drew .. myself up on him, that is. Grabbed at his breastplate, at the collar just below the neck. Then stumbled, lost my footing, tumbled to the ground and took the mountain of steel that he was down with me."

"Ouch." The Antivan grimaced. "That's not how I'd want to .. cuddle."

"Ouch fits the situation." Asha nodded. "His armour almost crushed me. As we struggled to get up again he somehow elbowed me in the gut. I, being full of wine and queasy enough as it was, then proceeded to puke all over him.

It was humiliating. I remember scuttling away from the scene, getting up as fast as I could and running down the corridor in my sodden robe. I hid under my blanket for the rest of the evening and night and did not drink a single drop of wine since then." She ended her story and looked thoughtfully at her tankard. "Ale's a different story." She concluded and took a swig.

"That would have been me." A dry voice came from the other side of the table.

Asha looked up in shock.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to clean that armour? And the smell? The knight commander was livid." The tone of Cullens voice seemed accusing at first, but the man was smiling.

"Makers breath, woman, what a stupid thing to do."

The mage tried to become very small. How did that not occur to her. Maker, she crushed on the guy forever and could not remember his face at the one occasion he -almost- crushed her?

Adaar gave her another friendly clap on the back and signaled to the waiter.

"Some wine for our mage, something antivan maybe. She drinks red, I just know." She said and her voice did not brook any objection.

With a nice new drink of wine before her and a thinning amount of coins in her pocket Asha sat and drank and listened to the antics of her companions at the table.

In this light they almost seemed as normal as the next man, just people having fun, talking. The symbols they were for the inquisition could almost be forgotten.

The evening ended, when almost all the coins had found their way to ambassador Josephine.

Asha felt positively tipsy, but not nearly as bad as Sera. The latter was dancing on a table, to a tune only she could hear and blowing kisses to the waitress.

The commander saw Asha looking at her and remarked "Last time she was somewhere under the table halfway through the game, so this counts as an improvement."

"She is fun." The mage averted her gaze. "All of you are. You are so .. normal."

"Thanks I guess." The knight scratched at the back of his head. "About that story of yours.."

"Oh maker, please no. Don't mention it." Asha felt herself redden even more.

"I enjoyed hearing it from your perspective. It reminded me of better times." He was sounding wistful now. "Before that thing .."

"Uldred." One word was enough, both of them knew what it meant. When during the blight one of the senior enchanters came back to the circle a bloodmage and abomination all hell broke loose.

They had come away with their lives, as many others did not, but much had been lost that day. It did not do to dwell on it for either of them.

"No, we don't talk about that." Cullen shook his head. "This was a good evening, I had a lot of fun and still got my pants on me, so let's not ruin it."

"Your pants?"

"Don't ask." He waved dismissively, but the tips of his ears seemed to redden.

As everyone filed out of the tavern Adaar came to stand beside the mage.

"Still talking about the good old times I wager?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at Cullen.

"I was just about to go. Good evening my Ladies." And with a brief bow the man was gone.

Asha sighed involuntarily.

"I hope you'll join us again Sparks." The Bull drew up behind Adaar and put his giant arms around her, looking over her shoulder.

"You play bad enough that even I have the chance to win a few silvers back and are not bad to look at, for a human." The horned man grinned just as suggestively as his lover.

"Guess you wouldn't join the two of us for what follows next, but I'd like to see you again for the cards." He winked.

Adaar elbowed the big man in the ribs and turned her head to the mage.

"Well, he is right. We enjoyed your company and still haven't heard any of your stories of the blight or what happened at the fereldan circle during it."

"While I'd love the company, you probably won't hear those stories." Asha tried to meet the eye of the imposing woman that was her Inquisitor.

"Some of these are just not mine to tell, it would not be right."

She vividly remembered the fear, when the bloodmages overran the tower, but in the lower levels, under the protection of senior enchanter Wynne, Asha had been relatively safe during the ordeal.

She just could not bear to remember the hateful look in the eyes of the broken man that came back from the upper levels, when Neria Surana freed them from Uldred.

Adaar and her Bull went out of the tavern and disappeared probably to the Inquisitors chambers. They were laughing and teasing each other all the way over to the keep, as Asha stood before the tavern watching them from behind.

A tear crept into her eye. She hurriedly whisked it away and smiled.

"Enviable, isn't it?" A soft voice came to her ear. "They have fought so much, survived such horrible fights and now they are together, in love."

"She saved us all." Asha agreed to the master of spys words.

"She sometimes reminds me of Neria." The latter admitted. "I know it sounds funny, because she's so big and strong, while Neria was a lithe elf, but.." She driftet off.

"I think I know what you mean." Asha nodded. "That iron will to better the world, to leave their touch upon it's surface and it's people. That ability to inspire, lead and decide. They got that in common I guess."

Leliana stepped up beside the mage and inclined her head.

"She found happiness at last too." She said softly.

"I'm glad."

"You remember, after we killed Uldred?"

How could she forget. "I do."

Lelianas eyes softened to the forlorn expression on the mages face.

"We saved everyone we could, yet Neria still felt she abandoned all of you in your time of most dire need."

"She came back. She helped." Asha protested.

"Yet there were losses." Leliana looked up to the stars that had appeared at the clear, dark sky above the keep. "Sit!"

They went to the bench, where Asha had been sitting with Adaar early that day.

"That night Neria and I sung." She smiled. "It gave her hope as much as it did to the rest of us, but in the end she cried herself to sleep in the arms of Alistair."

"That fair haired man with the shield and templars battle stance?" Asha had seen the glances that both fighters had given each other when marching up the tower towards their supposedly doom with Wynne. They had come back battered but victorious.

"When the Archdemon fell, both wardens lived." Leliana told her. "I had to leave them soon after, but I know they stayed together. I hope Adaar will have the same good fortune with her Bull."

"I envy them." Asha could not help herself.

"I know." The rogue stood slowly and put a hand on her shoulder. "Some of us need to be alone. You don't." She said and was gone so fast and silently, that Asha had to stifle a whelp of surprise.

With a wistful last look up at the battlements she turned and slowly walked to her barracks, where a cold bunk bed was waiting for her. She stumbled twice and almost ripped the hem of her robe, but got there eventually. When she thought about the evening she smiled. It had been so long since she genuinely had fun. The red wine was excellent too and she could not believe she missed out for so long voluntarily.

If given the chance she would play again, look into all those friendly, amiable faces and feel at home. It was the first time she could admit to that since Kinloch Hold fell.

Some days later, commander Cullen was inspecting his troups.

"Put that shield up or do you want to be killed?" He corrected the recruit for what felt like the hundredth time.

They were good lads, but some of them needed much work before they could be of use in the field. Nevertheless he tried to spend as much time with the men as he did behind the desk. Not only for his sake and the maker knew he needed time off the paperwork, but for the men to see him as well. To know him as one of theirs, so they would trust and follow more willingly into battle when needed.

Cullen saw it as his duty, to know the men and women fighting under his command as good as he was able, their faults and weaknesses just as well as their strengths. And if one of them fell, he had to be able to tell the family. Words of comfort for the bereaved did not come easy for him, but if it came to it he could say something about the deceased. His breath made small puffs of smoke in the crisp morning air. A light wind was burning on his cheeks. It was good to be here, to be alive.

"Wake up dreamer, your Inquisitor demands you stand to attention!" The voice behind him shocked the commander into a salute.

"Wait .. Adaar." He losened up again and the Inquisitor laughed loudly.

"You were so far away, I almost didn't see you from down here." She exclaimed and her mouth revealed perfect rows of white teeth.

"Thinking of those we lost." Cullen told her in a silent voice, as not to let any of the recruits hear.

"Not only at the keep I guess." Adaar remembered the talk they had, when Lyrium-withdrawal had losened her commanders tongue and he told her some things about his past in Fereldens circle tower and Kirkwall.

"All of them." Cullen nodded.

"You are always working." Adaar chided. "The breach is closed, the world is safe .. okay, safer than it was before." she corrected herself. "You know you CAN take some time off now and then?"

"And do what?" He shook his head. "Since Dorian left for Tevinter I lost my opponent in chess. I wouldn't have thought I'd ever say this, but none of the men can match his wits. We practised chess a lot back at the circle, it's just not the same playing against an untrained foe. And I'm nowhere desperate enough to ask Sera or Varric, if they even play at all."

Adaar shook her head. "I don't think they do. Varric is more one for a nice game of diamondback and I don't think you'd really look forward to play cards against him."

The commander chuckled agreeable.

"You could ask Josephine, but she got her hands full with the ambassadors and solicitors flooding the keep lately."

Cullen suddenly looked thoughtful.

"What?"

"I think there is an idea." He smiled. "Thank you Inquisitor."

"You can call me Adaar dreamer .. Just don't crush her right in the first game or she will probably not want a rematch."

"How?"

"I can read your mind." Adaar winked und turned to the training recruits.

"Do you call that a strike? My dear old grandmother could hit harder than that. Your opponent laughs at your face." She hollered at one of them.

"Pardon your grace, but your dear old grandma was a fricking seven foot Qunari." Came the retort.

"And she would have crushed your face if you held yourself like that in a fight against her.."

Cullen left the Inquisitor behind. His men were in excellent hands and he was almost sure she would not hurt them or their egos too much.

When he found her, she was up in the hayloft at the stables, trying to reach for the cobwebs in the rafters. She was balanced precariously on one foot, holding herself up with one hand, while she stretched up over the edge of the hayloft.

"Enchanter Amell?" The commander called out.

A long "Eeeep" and a short fall after, the slightly rumpled figure of mentioned Enchantress emerged from the stack of hay that had cushioned her fall.

"Commander Cullen?" She replied sheepishly. "How may I serve you?"

"Not serve, not at all .." He reached out to her, to help her up from the ground. "This is a personal request of sorts."

Ignoring the proffered hand Asha stood and ineffectively tried to dust off her robe, spiked with bits of hay. "A request?" She tried not to meet his eye. "What? Why?"

"You got spider's webs in your hair." He pointed out.

"I .. sorry, I'm a mess." Ashas backside hurt and all her efforts at making herself presentable again seemed to fail. She tugged at her hair dejectedly.

"I recently lost my opponent at chess." The commander began anew, "And I thought, back at the circle most of the templars and apprentices were playing. And .. as we know each other, sort of .. and I kind of, appreciate your company.." He became silent.

"You want me to play chess with you?" Ashas face lit up. "You'll lose."

The commander was taken aback. "What?"

He had not expected an answer that breezily from the meek mage.

"So you play?" He smiled now.

"I so do, mostly against myself, but .. I was good." She now met his gaze and he saw a glint in her eye that had not been there before.

"Don't underestimate me." Cullen plucked a piece of web from her hair.

As she stood there, covered in cobwebs, dust and hay, her eyes sparkling with vigor she was almost beautiful.

The commander shook those musings from his head. "Do you have more work to do or will you join me at the board?"

"A minute to clean myself up would be appreciated .. I have hay everywhere." She began and blushed.

"Certainly." Cullen averted his eyes. "Take your time, I'll wait there." And off he went.

Asha put a hand on her forehead. That had been mortifying. Everything was going so well with the webs and then the man had gone and taken her by surprise.

Perhaps she should opt for some softer haystacks. Not only did she look ruffled and dirty, but her backside hurt so much. And because it did that, she agreed to sit through a game of chess with the commander. Capital idea Asha, great. She would just have to beat him fast. What could possibly go wrong?

A change of clothes, some brushing of hair and several hours of fierce battle on the chessboard later she knew exactly how much she had underestimated her opponent.

She was more out of practice than she initially thought and the commander was used to strategic thinking. When he finally won, smiling triumphantly at her she was not sure how she would manage to rise from her seat again. She saw herself crawling back to the barracks on her knees already.

"Rematch?" Where did that come from? Her mouth obviously, but why?

"Gladly."

Maker, this would get painful.

That night when she closed her eyes, despite the pain still quite apparent from the fall, she felt incredibly content. She won her rematch and wiped that grin off his face. That grin .. How the corner of his mouth tugged upwards even as he was losing. Tugged at her heartstrings. She felt like she had taken a step back in time, back to when she first lost herself in the honey colored eyes of someone never meant for her.

"I'm taking her. It's perfect, you see that too." Adaar was lying on her bed stark naked. The skin on her lean grey body was shining with a crisscross of lighter scars. The muscles on her back were a beauty to behold, as she lay there on her belly, content in the afterglow of their lovemaking.

"I'm just saying you don't knowif she can hold herself in a fight. You already have people you trust at your back. But why not." The Bull called back into the room from the balcony.

"Seems I'm fresh out of mages." Adaar sat up on the edge of the bed. "Solas went to who knows where after the fight with Corypheus and Dorian went back to Tevinter, at least for now. Trying to right some wrongs or something. I'm sure he will do great, but I miss that charming bastard."

The Inquisitor sighed. "There is still Vivienne, but she busies herself with Maker knows what in Val Royeaux. I don't want to ask, it's probably politics. Ugh." She made a disgusted sound.

"Could call her back. But I see your point." Her lover was still looking out over the courtyard in a similar state of undress.

"As much as I appreciate the view, I think everyone down there does too." Adaar quipped.

"Hah, they can barely see me up here." Bull laughed.

"A man like you? I think they can see you bare, probably as far as Val Royeaux. Empress Celene might dream about that sight tonight."

"But only dream she can." Bull smiled brightly and turned around to his lover. "If you don't need me anymore I can go back down to the guys. My Bull's Chargers are probably itching for some action. Won't do to have them hanging around to much without proper training. Unless .."

Adaar grinned and pulled him back down on the bed.

"I think I still have need of you here. Later?"

They went down into the courtyard together. Later. Much later.


	2. Chapter 2

Josephine was disconcerted. She had been looking for the mistress of spys for hours and nobody could give her a lead as to her whereabouts. Ususally you could find her if you looked hard enough. If you hold all the strings it was not a good idea if nobody could find you to deliver information or pick up new errands.

The keeps spies where as puzzled as Josephine. Into that confusion barged Adaar.

"I found this on my desk." She waved a letter around. "How it got there is beyond me, but what does it mean? Where is Leliana?" The Inquisitor was angry, you could see that in her purple eyes, the set of her brows.

"Inquisitor, there you are. We don't know." Josephine wrung her hands. "We looked everywhere, but she did not leave any of us a hint. Is this from her?"

Adaar nodded. "It says she is off visiting with an old friend. We shall not seek her. The gall that woman has."

"She should have talked to us, not run off on her own." The pretty antivan looked dispraising.

"Hell no, she should not. We need her, by Andrastes flaming underwear. And anyway, if she needs help, needs us .. I had hoped she would trust me enough to tell me. A letter .. a measly letter."

The Inquisitor ground her teeth.

"Let our spies check for invisible ink or something. Maybe the letter has more to tell than can be seen on the surface." She was grasping for straws. "I refuse to believe Leliana would go without a safeguard. Old friends probably means old enemies as far as we know. Maybe we can find out where she went."

"And bring her back. Yes Inquisitor." Josephine cautiously took the letter from her hands and went up to Lelianas desk to gather some of the spies.

It was not a good moment to run into Adaar. "You!"

The shout made Asha freeze instantly. The inquisitor came up behind her in a half-run over the courtyard.

"Just the woman I was looking for." She said grimly and looked the mage up and down.

"You are a mage."

"I think we gathered that, yes." Asha should probably have held her mouth closed.

"A rather cheeky mage today? Fine, I don't care. I have need of you, you will come with me." Adaar took her by the hand and pulled her to the training area, where it was safe to practice not only swordfighting but magic too.

"You will attack, I will defend. If you give me pause I will hit you." The look in the Inquisitors eyes was serious as she grabbed for her sword and shield.

"Why? I don't want to." The mage squeeked and realized the now very inconvenient absence of a staff on her. She had not much time to ponder, because about five seconds later she was ducking and weaving away from Adaar who tried to hit her with the pommel of her sword.

"Defend yourself." The Inquisitor shouted and charged.

Lightning cracked from the mages fingertips and hit the shield Adaar was holding up.

"Ugh." The hairs on the nape of her neck were standing up, but most of the blast had been deflected. "Good! Again!" She was pivoting around to strike out at the mage who desperately tried to get away from the wild woman.

"Why are we doing this?" Asha held her hands up and sent another bolt of lightning at the shield. It was deflected again and did not do much to hold of the Inquisitors advance.

Just before being hit by a shield bash she threw herself to the side, badly grazing her elbow and hip.

"Fight now, talk later." Adaar was panting lightly. That girl was harder to hit than the balls on a dragon .. if dragons had balls. A thought for later, finding out if dragons had ..

Adaar was caught unawares by the next blast. It seemed to feather out from the mages hands and merge back together where she stood. She could only block part of it and grunted under the impact of the energy that threatened to knock the air from her lungs.

"You are not even trying." She hissed and looked down at the mage, whose pale face seemed to be streaked by dirt and tears now. "Stand up!"

"No!" Asha looked at her defiantly. "I don't even know why we are doing this. You are my Inquisitor, I don't want to hurt you. One full blast of lightning at the wrong time to the wrong area and you may sustain serious injury."

The mage was sitting on the ground cradling her right elbow. "You don't have templar-training, you can only block. It's not fair."

"You seriously want to imply you could hurt me?" Adaar laughed now. "I have fought a wannabe-god, I fought dragons."

"You did, but it takes just a bit of bad luck. Please don't make me do this." Asha pleaded with her.

"She is right you know." The commander was standing there. How long did he watch? The mage wiped at her dirty face.

"Right? You don't seem to be in your right mind man." Adaar looked at him with a brow raised.

"You are angry." He remarked and the Inquisitor had to admit that he was right in that.

"So I am, but that does not change anything."

"We know, all of us know, that she could not best you in fight. Who could? But making it hurt like hell? Probably. She does not even have a staff on her, makers breath, she is unfocused. It's a miracle she even hit you at all, moving around like that."

Adaar considered his words silently, still wanting to bash something or someone with her shield.

"I need a mage. I needed to test her." She pushed out her chin.

"Consider her tested." The commander grabbed for his own shield and a training-sword. "I think you have seen what she can do .. and won't do."

Adaar grinned now, this promised to be even more fun.

"She is quick on her feet. I think I can use her." She agreed. "You want to spar with me?"

"Can't hurt." Cullen gave a lopsided grin.

"Oh, it will." Adaaar charged.

Asha limped back to the healing-tent, leaving the clanging of the fight between the two warriors behind her. That last tumble had been a bit too hard. She was expecting a huge bruise to form on her hip. But it could have been far worse. Adaar had held back too, but one bash of this shield to the face and she would have been out like a candle.

Even a friendly shove of the big woman could throw her around like a reed in a storm.

Silently she applied a potion to her injuries and wove a light healing spell. Healing magic was useful, but she liked to limit it's uses.

The way the body was prompted to repair damages far too fast could take a toll on it. It was not to be taken lightly. Nevertheless the Inquisitor had said it was a test. So probably she would be needed soon. She could not be limping behind if it came to that.

"What bronto chewed you up?" One of the other healers had seen her in the corner of the tent. "That looks painful." The young man poked at Ashas injured elbow. She hissed sharply.

"Because it is." She turned away from him.

"Okay. I'll get some more water. We clean that up, your face too and you'll shine again in no time."

The man was friendly enough, he had surely found his call in healing. Of course he was no mage, most of those were sitting in one of the towers, studying magic and old tomes that may hold mysteries to help the inquisition in her errands. But it was one of the people who kept the keep running, as important as any of them.

Asha smiled absentmindedly. They would all do their part. And maybe Adaar would tell her later, why she received such a treatment at her hands. The woman was clearly beside herself, maybe there was something else she could do apart from receiving a battering.

He found her again in the healers tent.

"There you are." His soft voice made her heart beat faster.

"I got a .. small laceration here. Help me with that? Maybe?"

The commander did not look much better than Asha did just half an hour before.

The latter hurried to get a poultice and materials to clean the wound. As she dabbed at the handsome face with a desinfectant solution made from elfroot and blood lotus the commander winced.

"She did not lie, it did hurt." Nevertheless he sounded amused.

"She does that good." Asha smiled concentrating on dressing the wound. "Just leave the poultice on for an hour, then let the wound breathe again. You won't know it was there in a day or two."

"Thank you." He scanned her face thoughtfully while Asha suddenly found her hands in her lap to be of much interest.

"She wants you to be ready tomorrow morning. Get a robe with good enchantments from the quartermaster, take your best staff and meet up with the others in the great hall. You'll be fighting bandits I think, maybe some apostates with them." Cullens voice had taken on a serious tone.

"You fought with us at Adamant and in the Arbor Wilds, I know you can do it. She will not let any harm come to her companions, but it's different than fighting in an army." He gave her an encouraging nod as he left the tent. "Take care."

She looked blankly at the opening where the commander had disappeared. The Inquisitor requested her assistance so soon. But it was what she wanted, was it not? Being of use, fight for those who could not fight for themselves. Asha was determined. As soon as she saw the quartermaster and gathered her supplies.

The smooth wood of her staff felt cold as she grabbed it out from under the bed. More spider's webs. She had not used it since the fight in the Arbor Wilds.

The terror she felt when the dragon swept over their heads, the giant wings beating the air. The hissing of the giant beast and the fireballs that came hurtling towards the soldiers and her alike, it was hell. But she lived. Many lived that day and some died. Some of them in her arms.

She felt only pity but no remorse. There was nothing she could have done for a better outcome. All of them had trusted their inquisitor and her general, who led them into battle. And their trust had never been misplaced, she was sure of that.

Tomorrow now she would follow Adaar again. Not to the sparring grounds this time. This time it would be a real fight. She might die... The thought faded as sleep claimed her.

The bandits were located in an abandoned fort on the Exalted Plains. They had barricaded themselves in, but it was foolish to think they could have stood against the Inquisitor.

Adaar rushed the obstacles and broke many a crate and rib in the process.

Seeing her in a real fight was surreal.

At her side the Iron Bull cleaved his own way through the bandits with that giant axe he was wielding. Both were obviously enjoying the onslaught, taunting their enemy and bantering.

"Aren't you glad you're here to see that?" Varric asked, as he put a quarrel through the eyesocket of an apostate that was just preparing a spell against them.

Asha sent a chain lightning through a row of bowmen trying to take cover behind some crates. She nodded mutely.

This was necessity. Those bandits harried the region, killed innocents. Nevertheless it was good to let go for once. Using full force against an enemy, feeling all that magic at your fingertips and actually being able to unleash it. She could almost see why some would aspire to even more power, even consorting with demons in the process.

When the last bandit was dead and all wounds sustained in the fight were tended to she allowed herself to exhale.

"Now that was fun." Adaar had an expression of accomplishment on her face.

"Held your own nicely Sparks." The Bull smiled at Asha and she felt herself blushing at the praise.

"I'm content." Adaar agreed. "Now if we find out were those old friends of Leliana are, that called her away from us you may accompany us there too."

"Leliana is gone?" Asha had noticed the absence of the spy at the edge of her consciousness, but did not read too much into it, until now.

"That she is, left but a letter." The Bull growled.

For some reason the image of Neria came up before Ashas inner eye. The mistress of spies did not have that many old friends. What if it really was the Hero of Ferelden that had called upon her.

She mentioned her suspicion on the way back to the Skyhold, which sparked an interesting argument whether or not that fabled woman would even still be alive.

"She was a Grey Warden, possibilities are she went mad like the others under Corypheus' influence or died of some other cause. Wardens die all the time with all that darkspawn in the deep roads." Adaar argued.

"If she was in Weisshaupt things don't look good either. We have not heard anything from the wardens there for some time now." Even Varric seemed doubtful.

"She survived when noone thought she would." The mage could not believe her old acquaintance would die so easily. "It may be her."

The dwarf sighed. "If it is, there's probably something big on the horizon kid. Let's pray she only went to Val Royeaux to buy a new pair of shoes or something."

Though the Inquisitor and her companions doubted, that Leliana had run off with the Hero of Ferelden Adaar had her remaining advisors look into the matter.

They sent people looking for clues about the path Neria Surana had taken after the blight in Ferelden ended.

It turned out, that the hero had taken on the title of Warden Commander of Ferelden, freeing the arldom of Amaranthine of yet another darkspawn threat. The other warden who had been there during the blight and was supposedly her lover had traveled to Weisshaupt in the meantime.

Soon after the situation in Amaranthine had been resolved Neria Surana transferred her titles and land to her second in command, one Nathaniel Howe and left with unknown destination.

It was weird for an elf and mage to own an arldom and a title of nobility, but probably not more so than it was for a Qunari, Adaar mused.

It seemed Weisshaupt would be their best lead as the Warden may well have followed her beloved there. Adaar decided to send some spies first. If the Weisshaupt-Wardens did not answer letters, maybe it was good to learn what was going on there by sending people.

She was still not sure any of this would bring them closer to retrieving Leliana, but as long as no other idea presented itself this would have to do.

Magic had it's restrictions. Sadly the washing of clothes did not seem to fall into the category of things it could do. Dust and dirt and bits of hay were one thing, but the newly aquired bloodstaines on her robes gave Asha a hard time.

She was scrubbing away at them with a grim set to her jaw and wondered if the Inquisitor had to do her own laundry. Probably not anymore. Maybe she could sneak some of her robes between Adaars garments and have the washerwomen take care of this ordeal.

Killing bandits sounded like so much fun, until you met with the aftermath of your endeavors.

Asha sighed and put the now slightly cleaner robe back into her basket. The stain was almost gone, maybe some hours in the sun would take care of the rest.

Turning she almost collided with a shining breastplate.

"You always meet me at my best." She commented wryly, looking up into the face of commander Cullen.

She sheepishly tugged at the moist hem of her sleeves. "How may I serve you commander?"

"Have you got to say it like that?" The man asked irritated. Asha almost felt bad about it.

"May I help you with something?" She tried again and he seemed pleased with the new phrasing.

"No." He replied, taking her by surprise. "I just had some time on my hands and thought you were up for another game of chess maybe. But it seems you are preoccupied."

The urge to throw away the damn laundry and just walk off with the commander was overwhelming, but a deeply instilled sense of duty prevented Asha from it.

"You could help, you know?" - Maker no. Her mouth was once more running faster than her brains. Playing chess with your superiors, fine, you can do that. You do not ask them to help you hang your laundry.

Before she could say another word the cursed man took the full basket and started to carry it over to the clothesline. The whole situation was surreal. She had the commander of the keeps army hang clothes .. mages robes of all things .. undergarments .. no.

Regrettably no hole in the ground opened up to swallow her. No rift in the fade either, to throw some demons at them as a welcome distraction. Just a nice, clear day in the brisk mountain air, sun shining, hanging clothes.

And he did not seem fazed by it at all. The man was an enigma.

Their game of chess later on was enjoyable as usual. It probably did not help, that Asha always felt distracted by the mans presence. She grit her teeth, begrudging him that unfair advantage over her.

When he started to give her advice on the elimination of bloodstains on her battle robes she almost lost it.

"You know, as a templar recruit I've done my share of laundry." Maker, she was dying inside.

"You know your secrets are safe with me." She pressed out stifling a giggle.

"I know." He said and it sounded solemn.

Asha looked up at him in wonderment. What was that about now?

"I have spoken to no one but the Inquisitor about the things that happened at the circle during the blight." He started. "And neither did you."

She nodded. "I may have mentioned that there were problems, that I was there and that I lived. But I don't tell stories that are not my own." Asha averted her eyes, closing them briefly to get the image of a broken man, full of hate out of her head.

"When I stopped taking the lyrium, there was a moment of weakness. I told Adaar about some of the things that transpired back then." Cullen twirled a pawn in his hand absentmindedly.

"You don't have to be too careful about what you tell her. I doubt you know more than what I already told her."

"You don't take lyrium anymore?" Asha had never heard of a templar, who went through the pains of withdrawal after taking the stuff for as long a time as Cullen must have had.

"No. It's still hard sometimes. The pain not so much, that was in the beginning, but the dreams..." His voice faded.

"However, I think I've won. Again." He grinned now. "Your boasts of me losing when we started playing seem to have been empty. A pity."

"You don't give me enough credit." Asha complained. "I've won on occasion."

The former templar smiled and nodded. They were almost tied in wins and losses. Taking her lightly resulted in crushing defeat, but teasing her was just too much fun.

In the circle she was always just a silent figure on the sidelines, of no interest and heavily overshadowed by the glowing figure of Neria Surana.

Here in the keeps gardens, fiercely competing against him at the chessboard she had grown on him as a dear friend. One who already knew his darkest hour and did not condemn him for it.

"We got her!" The exclamation sounded loudly through the great hall. It was not the dark skinned womans typical behaviour to call out to her Inquisitor like this, but Josephine was thrilled.

"Leliana?" Adaar hurried to walk up to her advisor.

"No, sadly not." Josephine looked sheepish. "But we have a strong hint on the whereabouts of Neria Surana. That is something, isn't it?"

Adaar tried not to let her disappointment show. "That's good work Josephine. Let's talk at the war table and plan our next steps."

Josephine signaled to one of the servants to call for the commander and followed into the map room.

"The Warden was seen in Orzammar." The antivan proudly proclaimed after the three of them were standing around the table. "King Bhelen was happy to hear from us. Relations to the dwarfs of Orzammar are excellent at the moment. He sent a formal invite. He want's to see the Inquisitor."

"I thought the dwarfs did not care much for the hole in our sky, as long as there was enough rock above their heads?" Adaar liftet am eyebrow incredulous.

Josephine saw need to explain: "King Bhelen is a quite forward-looking dwarf, very progressive. And even more conservative dwarfs were happy to hear about the death of Corypheus."

"As he was basically a darkspawn. They hate that. I get it." The Inquisitor nodded.

"You should not go there alone." The commander added. "A small retinue should suffice, but it does not hurt to show a bit of strength. I don't expect fighting in the city itself, but as the Inquisitor you have to hold up appearances as well."

"Politics .. oh joy." Adaar did not sound cheerful at all.

"It's all politics with the dwarfs. Some say it's worse than in the noble society of Orlais." Josephine did not give her any hope at all.

"As long as he tells us what we need to know that Bhelen can plot and scheme as much as he wants." Adaar decided.

"And he will." Cullen nodded. The dwarfs were infamous for their ruthless politic scheming.

"You'll tag along. Honnleath is in the mountains near Orzammar, you must have had dealings with dwarfs when you lived there." The Inquisitors voice dared her commander to object.

"I was only a child growing up in Honnleath, that does not account for much. But if you are sure I'm not needed here." He sounded doubtful.

"I'm sure the washerwomen will manage without you for a while." Adaars eyes twinkled with mirth. Cullen turned red. "There is no shame in hanging laundry." He tried a weak protest.

"Especially when the view is so nice." Josephine chimed in.

Makers breath, these women were incorrigible.

"I'll join your retinue in Orzammar." The man finally conceded. They still had Cassandra staying at the keep and while her efforts rebuilding the order of Seekers took a lot of her time, she would be able to help Josephine run things smoothly during the time of their absence.

The time on the road was not so bad. The air was crisp and clean and the sun shone brightly. Their group was traveling at a slower pace than usual, as they were accompanied by a small host. It was almost as slow as the trek to the Arbor Wilds, though they were not nearly as many people this time.

The mountain paths were so narrow, that sometimes only two horses could walk side by side. That stretched their party farther than they liked, but there was nothing to be done about it.

They should have arrived in a days march, but nothing went as planned. When thescouts came back with the message, that one of the narrower paths ahead was bnlocked by debris they had to come to a halt in one of the valleys.

"Andrastes tits, can't anything ever go according to plan?" Varric gave the mountains a surly glance.

"The scouts say it's just a small landslide. But to cross it with the horses and supplies we have to clean it away first." Adaar tried to placate him. "I like that as much as you do, but with all these people in tow it was clear we would not be there in a days ride."

Varric nodded and sighed. "I had just hoped we could throw up camp in front of Orzammars gates. Not out in the mountains in the middle of nowhere. But I guess we'll freeze our asses off either way."

"You may do that dwarf." The Bull laughed as he put his arms around the Inquisitor. "I plan on keeping this ass warm."

"We have tents, woolen blankets, fire and provisions enough to easily last more than a night out here if needed." Adaar was unconcerned. "Nobody will freeze off anything, if they are not so stupid as to wander out alone in night and snow."

"And we have wine." The Bull smiled brightly.

"A present for King Bhelen Josephine packed. Those are really rare. You don't think we can?" His lover looked up to him skeptical.

"Why not, we still have some kegs of good ale out there as well, even enough to keep the men happy. We will travel lighter tomorrow and the king will appreciate whatever surface-spirits we bring him. Dwarven ale tastes like mud and nug droppings." Bull just knew, she was already convinced. The choice between the happiness of her and her own and some vague political hullabaloo was easy for Adaar to make.

"I'll tell the soldiers to set up camp and find a contingent to help with the debris." The commander announced. "Before night falls we will have a secure position and the first part of the work will be done. Then they shall open some of the ale. Not to much, mind you, the sentinels have to stay sober. I don't want any surprises."

Adaar nodded. Her friends and advisors were reliable people. She did not doubt that they could continue on their way tomorrow morning. And another night camping out would not be so bad.

"You know, we could play a game of Wicked Grace later." She said to Varric who looked up at her abashed.

"I fear not." He admitted, "You won't believe it, but I did not bring the cards."

"There have to be cards in this camp somewhere? We can hardly sit down to a game of truth or dare, can we?"

The Inquisitors protest made Varric grin. "Why not? Could be fun."

Adaar looked thoughful. "The others would not participate in that surely. I just know they would drop out."

"Let that be my concern." Varric chuckled and went off, probably searching for the other members of their inner circle.

Later that night they all met up in the big tent of the Inquisitor. Braziers were illuminating the soft walled room and thick blankets provided places to sit. It was as warm and cozy as it could get in the cold mountain night.

Adaar was nestled down beside the Iron Bull, who held a tankard full of finest Tevinter Red in his free hand. Cullen was standing beside a brazier, a chalice in his hand and thoughts of flight in his head. This did not look like the war council Varric had insinuated it would be.

There were no maps to be seen, no papers with information partaining to the dwarf-clans. There were not even cards out. Not that he was objecting to an evening with friends, but he had the nagging feeling his Inquisitor and the dwarf were planning something.

The tent flap opened and in came a gust of cold wind and snowflakes followed by a pale faced mage and Varric, who gently pushed her inside.

"Still cold, but far from storm. Looking good Inquisitor." Varric announced cheerfully.

"Seems our party is now complete." Adaar stood and pushed a chalice of wine in the stunned mages hands.

The cup was cold, as were Ashas fingers they closed around it shivering. Varric sauntered back to his own cup, already standing there and sat.

"Varric told me he would get you here and that he did." The Inquisitor smiled at her friends.

"Sadly we are missing some of our friends out here tonight, but I'm sure it will be an enjoyable evening nonetheless."

"As far as war councils tend to be enjoyable." Cullen took a shot at it. "But I guess I have been mistaken?"

"I lied." Varric shrugged and smiled.

"Certainly." The Commander was unsurprised. "What have you told her?" He indicated a nod in Ashas direction.

"He told me nothing. Just grabbed me and dragged me here." The mage, still standing in front of the tent flap, pouted. "People seem to enjoy doing that to me."

Her glance over to the Inquisitor did not went unnoticed but was met with a bright smile by the same.

"Sorry about that Sparks. It was but a test, next time I tell you to join my training proper." Adaar had obviously adopted the nickname Bull had given her.

"So, what is the plan? I notice the absence of cards." Ashas perception was spot on, but she took a seat beside Varric unconcerned. Fleeing was not an option, when Inquisitor Adaar had something on her mind.

As everyone settled into a comfortable place, drink in hands Adaar deigned to enlighten them about her plans for the evening: "Tonight I want to learn more about you. I know, I know, I've asked most of you just about everything, past lives and so on." She waved her hand dismissively.

"But we'll take it up a notch. Let's drink and talk and truth or dare."

"No." Cullen turned to go. "You called us here for childs play?"

"Frightened?" The Qunari woman teased. "I hear the nobles in Orlais play all the time. With higher stakes mind you."

The commander squinted at her. "How do you aquire such ideas woman?"

Adaar grinned. "Please. Humour me, all of you. Just this once."

Cullen settled back down reluctantly with a stern set to his brow.

Asha had a bad feeling about this, but the wine tasted sweet on her tongue and left a nice warm sensation in her stomach. She did honestly not want to leave for her own clammy tent.

"As I am your leader I think it's just fair, that I'll start." Adaar said, taking a sip of wine.

She took a look around at her more or less willing subjects. Her gaze came to a rest on Cullens face who put a hand on his temple, closing his eyes.

"Truth or dare Commander?" Adaar was far to cheerful for his liking. "Truth it is."

"You were a templar, but I don't think you've ever taken a vow of celibacy."

"That is not a question." The annoyed voice of the Commander held traces of fear.

"No, the question is: Have you ever bedded someone?" Adaar grinned. "Not offering Commander, just asking." She had way to much fun with this.

"I did not." The poor man was clearly uncomfortable but tried to answer with as much dignity as possible. "I never searched for that kind of company."

"Really? How old are you Curly?" Varric was clearly surprised.

"It's not your turn to ask I think." He was clearly not answering that.

"Hah, should take you to the Tamassrans one day. They know how to help that." The Bull laughed.

"I don't need help." This had gone too far.

"Fine, fine, you are your own man, get that." Adaar was still chuckling.

The game commenced with Varric answering some not too intrusive questions about Bianca and the Bull telling the story about how he lost his eye and winning a lieutenant. Some secrets were unveiled and more than one stupid task fulfilled. Then the Inquisitor balanced a cup of wine on her horns and got herself wet in the process and everyone was of good cheer once again.

"This was stupid." Adaar laughed.

"Told you, you couldn't do it." Her lover licked a trace of wine from her cheek.

"Stop it. We're still playing." She gently pushed him away and dabbed at herself with a piece of cloth.

"Sparks!" The mage almost jumped as the Inquisitor called her name.

"Truth or dare?"

Oh the things she could ask her. That could be bad. Asha felt herself redden.

"Are your secrets too precious?" Sometimes it seemed as if Adaar could actually read thoughts. More likely she was just damn perceptive.

As soon as the word left her lips, the mage felt it was a mistake: "Dare."

Oh Maker, please just let me juggle some nug droppings or take a dive in a snowdrift.

Her silent prayers were not heard.

"You told us that nice story about your first taste of wine some time before." Adaar began and two people in the tent blanched.

"Well, there is the templar, here are you. You can try again now .. with less puking if the Maker wills it."

Asha felt ill. The look on Cullens face was unreadable.

The mage briefly closed her eyes, then stood and walked over to the commander.

She knelt down to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. His stubble grazed her lips lightly. See, that was not so bad. No puking involved and all dignity preserved.

The commander looked almost thankful as she sat back down, cradling her cup again.

"That was disappointing." Adaar pouted.

"It was enough." Varric pointed out. "No need to further embarass Curly, we gave him enough grief for one evening I guess."

The dwarfs prestige rose highly in Ashas eyes.

"I think we've all had enough." Cullen decided, emptying his cup. "I will see to the troups and retire." With one last nod he exited the tent.

Varric and the mage excused themselves too, while Adaar and the Bull stayed.

"That was evil." The Bull smiled at his lover. "You could see Sparks making doe-eyes at him forever. She probably has her reasons not acting on it."

"Because she's a wuss." Adaar mumbled.

"Hah, that may be so." He laughed. "But ordering her to kiss him will get her nowhere. Anyway, it's not your problem."

"No, my problem is, that I have not gotten a kiss yet." The Inquisitor grinned. She got her wish.


	3. Chapter 3

Moments after dawn Commander Cullen had set out with a group of soldiers to oversee the cleaning of the debris on the road ahead. They anticipated that the way would be cleared in a few hours.

Asha had packed her tent and sat on her bedroll scrunched up beside the fire when a piece of bread thickly covered in cheese was shoved into her face.

She took the food gratefully and gave Varric a thankful smile.

"Figured you might be hungry." He said sitting down on a log beside her.

The mage nodded demurely. "I was. Thank you."

As they ate in silence the camp was slowly broken up around them, tents and bedrolls thrown onto horses, and carriages pulled by brontos.

"Good save yesterday." Varric told her between two bites of his own slice of bread.

"Though you brought this on yourself, sort of."

"I did not." The mage loocked up in shock. "I would never."

"You encouraged her." Varric shrugged. "All those sad looks when you think he won't notice? You can be sure she notices. That woman is perceptive as hell."

"Doesn't give her a right .." Asha deflated.

"You are right, it doesn't." The dwarf took pity on her. "You think we'll find your Warden Surana?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I wish I knew her better, but we were not even really friends back then. I guess I was not interesting enough." A weak laugh left her lips. "Neria was shining. When she entered a room you were sure to look. Many wanted her attention. I had my books."

"Must make it hard on her to keep a low profile." Varric tried to see the good in it.

"Maybe. But the blight changed her. I had seen her once, after .." She trailed off.

"Doesn't matter. If the king knows anything, Adaar will make him tell. She has a way with people." Varric grimaced. "I just hope we are not going to the deep roads. I hate that place."

"You have been down there?" Asha shivered involuntarily.

"More often than I like already." The man nodded.

As expected the brigade clening the debris away had accomplished their task soon and everyone was ready to go. The Inquisitor had an efficiently run group behind her, that was not into slacking.

The horses were made ready and Asha was glad to be back in the saddle of the good natured chestnut mare from the Redcliffe stables the Inquisitor had given her for the trip.

Adaar herself was seated on a magnificent beast, a dracolisk that tended to bite and kick at the stablehands and everyone who got too close. The Bulls horse was an ill-tempered black stallion of almost as epic proportions as he himself and the Commander rode a white orlesian courser that would have been the pride of any chevalier.

Varric alone had decided to take a seat on one of the carriages, as "Horses and the length of my legs don't seem a match made by Andraste." he said.

Equipped like that they were making good way towards the gates of Orzammar that day and reached the opening before them shortly before twilight.

Varric hopped down from his seat on the carriage and held the reigns of Ashas horse as she dismounted.

"I will never understand how you can stand these things." He muttered as the mare tried to search his pockets for a treat.

"They are big and warm and softnatured. I like their smell." The mage held a lump of sugar out to the animal, which took it carefully.

"We did not have anything like this at the tower. Not surprising, it being in the middle of a lake."

"So where did you learn to ride?" Varric handed the reigns to one stablehand who came running to rub the horse down.

"Redcliffe, after the uprising." She shrugged. "I was lucky someone taught me. In the beginning many of the rogue templars had horses too, makes mage-hunting easier. I guess they all have to learn for that purpose."

The dwarf gave a silent nod. That girl had run for a long time it seemed. She had seen what the people who were meant to watch over her and the other mages could do. Yet she did not lose her trust in others, or her compassion. Varric decided, that she fit quite well into their little group of companions after all.

The majority of the Inquisitors retinue put up camp before the gates. Adaar herself led a little procession down into the mountain, to where the dwarven king resided.

The Iron Bull was on her side as usual, her General and Varric trailing close behind. Asha tried to blend in with the soldiers who carried the kegs of surface-ale, some other fine spirits and an assortment of rare items, that were meant as gifts for King Bhelen.

It seemed that Josephine was really eager to please the king and win his favour of the inquisition.

Blending in did not work as well for her as she initially thought. In her battle robes, staff on her back everything about her screamed mage, while the others marched in shining armour all around her.

Dwarven commoners were watching them, obviously impressed by the relatively large group of humans traversing their underground-city.

In the palace just Adaar and the Commander were allowed into the chambers of the king himself.

Waiting in the anteroom Asha marveled at the architecture of the palace.

"Never seen something like it Sparks?" The Bull smiled at her. "Wait until you see their baths."

"The baths?" The mage looked puzzled. "What's so special about them?"

"Warm water, running from taps in the stone girl." Varrics eyes grew dreamy. The ride on the carriage had not been the most comfortable and his muscles ached. A visit in one of the thermal baths or just a dip in the tub if they would have one in their designated rooms would be like a touch of Andraste herself.

"They have something like that?" The mage was thrilled. "I usually heat my water myself, but it's hard to get the temperature right and fire magic is not my forte."

"Hah, I get it mage. For the rest of us it's a cold bath or heating buckets above the fireplace." The Bull laughed. "You already have it better than most."

She nodded agreeable. He was right in that, but nevertheless, warm water running from the stone sounded fascinating.

"Say what, we'll take you to the thermal baths later Sparks?" The Bull suggested. "I planned on taking Adaar there anyway, Maker knows she could use the relaxation."

"So we all go to the baths together? Great." Varric really liked the idea, as long as he did not have to end up in the same basin as the Bull and the Inquisitor.

"Plan on getting an eyeful of Adaars ass dwarf?" The big man grinned. Varric just shook his head.

"Bathing?" The Inquisitors voice boomed through the room. The woman possessed the hearing of a nug, just without the big ears.

"Already done with the king?" Varric was surprised.

"He did not tell us anything .. for now." Adaar ground out.

"Apparently there has to be some etiquette served before he can share information with us." Cullen came to a halt at Adaars left.

"There will be a banquet tomorrow evening. The morning after that one of the kings men will show us where the Warden has last been seen and give further information." The Inquisitor sighed.

"This will drag out further than I had hoped. So what about that bath? My back is killing me."

"The dwarven bathhouses are famed all over Thedas." The Commander mused. "I would very much like to see them myself. Maybe it's not that unfortunate, that the king makes us wait."

The group was given quarters in the upper city of Orzammar. As Asha tested the stone-bed her room was equipped with she felt a pang of pity with the bigger members of their party.

Varric would be fine and if she curled up a bit it would be a hard but sufficient resting place. The Qunari would probably have to sleep on the floor and even Cullen should have a hard time fitting onto a bed that small.

They were welcomed warmly in the thermal baths. Word of the famed Inquisitor and her retinue had arrived there too and the dwarfs treated them with utmost hospitality.

There were a number of more private chambers with great basins, full of steaming warm water. They had little dressing chambers adjoining to these rooms and they all went into them to get out of their formal attire.

Varric soon regretted his enthusiasm at visiting the baths, as he soon found himself in a basin with the Bull and the Inquisitor.

"Can you at least tell me why?" Varric sighed defeated as he lowered himself in the steaming pool the farthest away from the couple he could get.

"My back is aching, my muscles are screaming for a massage." Adaar pouted.

"You could have asked the girl. You know, they do that normally, guys in one pool, women in the other."

"Have you seen those tender hands? I need someone who can exert force." Adaar grinned as the Bull grabbed her shoulders and started kneading.

"Like that love?" He growled into her ear.

Varric decided to close his eyes and enjoy the warmth, better not think about those two, this was just good as it was.

In the other room Asha had found herself curiously alone in the big pool. She had anticipated the Inquisitor, but she had obviously gone somewhere else.

The water was blue and steaming, she had never seen a pond or lake that beautiful. Lake Calenhads waters had been dark und deep. Rumour had it, that many an uncareful apprentice had found his death in the cold waves.

When storm came there formed eddys which could easily capsize the boat of an inexperienced skipper.

In Redcliffe, on the western shore of the same lake there had once been a terrible tragedy. Most people still vividly remembered when the dead had come out of the waters at nightfall and started killing the townsfolk. Neria Surana had taken care of that too.

Asha hoped they would find her. There was so much she wanted to ask the other mage.

Her eyes closed and she sighed.

"Makers breath."

Her eyes flew open as the Commander entered the room, obviously as surprised as her.

"They told me to get in here. Adaar and you should have been in the other room?" The man averted his eyes while Asha could only stare. Seeing him, only dressed with a towel around his hips was something she decided to savour. One never knew if the opportunity would ever again present itself.

"Her, the Bull and Varric have to be there. Only me here, sorry." Asha tried to cover her breasts with her hands, but through water and steam there was not much to be seen anyway.

"Seems Varric got the short end of the straw then, pardon me." The Commander shook his head smiling. "If you don't mind."

He was still not looking directly at her, but had obviously decided, if he was here to take a bath that was what he would do.

Asha saw him turn around, the well muscled back adorned with only a few battlescars. Then the towel was gone and the man climbed hastily into the pool.

That image would keep her warm in cold nights, alright.

The mage must have been beet red, not only from the heat of the water.

A low groan came from the mans throat as he lay back his head on the edge of the basin.

"Long day?" Ashas own voice sounded foreign and hoarse to her ears.

"Indeed. Seems I'm not used to being on horseback for such long amounts of time anyway." Cullen looked at her face over the expanse of the basin.

"You can't feel much better? Most mages are not used to riding at all." He guessed, but Asha shook her head.

"I'm fine. I had riding pants on under my robe and no armour. But nevertheless this is wonderful."

"The armour is a problem sometimes, yes." The Commander smiled. "What do you think took me so long?"

Asha nodded. Without a squire to helpm getting in and out of armour was a bit more difficult than shrugging off a robe. Maybe this was why most mages sexlife seemed to be better than that of templars. No, absolutely not thinking about **that** now. Not here.

The woman studied the architecture of the chambers walls apparently with great interest now.

"When I was a recruit they already had us stand guard in armour for hours. Getting used to the weight was important, but painful too." The Commander rolled his shoulders.

Asha tried hard not to notice the play of muscles under his skin. The steam might hide a lot, but drooling would be bad.

"You don't mind being alone with a mage?" She asked then and found him surprised.

"Have I given that impression? If I did I'm sorry. It does not bother me."

"You have seen what we can do, how it can be." She blurted out. "I was there."

Cullen nodded thoughtfully.

"You are right, horrible things happened at the hands of mages. Of others too. You were not one of them."

She let out a breath of relief. Though they spent such enjoyable hours playing chess and talking, she had still not been sure if the man held a grudge against her just for being what she was.

She could not tell him, what Wynne had mentioned to her after she returned from the top of the tower with the Hero of Ferelden. How could she hold those words against the ones he uttered now with utmost sincerity.

As it was time to leave the bath they decided Asha would go first, while the Commander closed his eyes. She was unconcerned about him peeking. His precious honour would probably prevent him from doing so anyway. And who knew, maybe there was something in his vows about that too.

In the tower the templars had always been watching and there were a bunch of other mages too at most times. Seing each other naked was not that big a thing then, why should it be now.

She grabbed for her towel and quickly disappeared into the dressing chamber were her robes were waiting for her.

The Commander sighed. He should have kept his eyes closed.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day all of them went their seperate ways to have a look at Orzammar. A bunch of the soldiers had come into town also and were marveling at the huge dwarven city.

Asha kept on Varrics heels as to not get lost in the place. It was just so huge and filled with so many people. The light from the magma-pits illuminated the cavern. However the dwarfs harnessed that energy she could not know. It could hardly be magic, as the dwarfs were resistant to it and could never have a connection to the fade.

"Curly took awfully long getting out of the bath yesterday." Varric winked at the mage. "What did you do to him?"

Asha reddened. "Probably the same you were doing to Adaar and the Bull." She retaliated, "He was the only one of us in heavy armour, probably slowed him down."

The dwarf laughed heartily. "Must have been it. Are you excited for the banquet tonight?"

"Too many people." Asha shook her head. "I wish we could do without this ceremony."

"You and I both Sparklehands. And I bet Adaar is even more pissed at it, she hates politics." The dwarf perchased some nug-drippings from a merchant and started to eat.

"Almost makes all of this worthwhile. Want some?"

The mage gingerly took some of the proffered meat. It was juicy and well seasoned.

"They never get it done like that on the surface." Varric shrugged. "We have better ale though."

Maybe the banquet would not be so bad if there was to be more food of the sorts. Asha almost looked forward to it.

In the evening she had donned her finest robe. The staff she left in her quarters, as it did not seem right to attend the feast armed.

She didn't need worry, as most of the dwarfs had axes strapped to their backs or hips and her companions had their weapons with them too. Adaar hated to part with her sword and Varric was never seen without Bianca, so that was no big surprise.

However, being a mage she did not feel helpless at all, even without her staff. The dwarfs may have been resistant to magic, but no one takes a lightning bolt to the face lightly.

Adaar took a seat next to King Bhelen on the dais. The others were ushered to a table quite close to it, along with some Captains of their retinue and a bunch of dwarven nobles.

The room was filled with hushed conversation and the smell of roasted nug-meat. King Bhelen seemed to have a good time talking with the Qunari-woman who even sitting down towered above him.

"I hope you have found the quarters provided to your satisfaction." He said, lifting a tankard of surface-ale to his lips.

The king savoured the taste of it, awaiting the Inquisitors answer.

"Everything was very forthcoming. We did not want for anything." She praised their accomodations. She did not mention spending the night in a nest of blankets and furs on the ground just in front of the small slab of stone the dwarfs called a bed.

And she did enjoy it too. Nestled in the arms of her Iron Bull, satisfied and exhausted she had slept far into the hours of daytime. Not that it made a difference here, where no sun was ever shining.

"I am glad to hear it." The King already knew that one of them had not slept in the room provided for him, but the information about the two Qunaris involvement with each other was known also, so it did not come as a surprise.

If the Inquisitor had her own spies in town, something he was quite sure of, they were not of her inner circle.

"You brought a mage." He noted.

"We did. You don't have many of them down here I guess." Adaar was fully aware that there were no dwarven mages.

"A warden now and then, but none of our own naturally." Bhelen nodded amiable.

"And the last warden-mage coming through might not have been the Hero of Ferelden by any chance?" Adaar was tired of beating around the bush.

Lucky for her the king seemed inclined to answer: "She might have been Inquisitor.

We had reports of Neria Surana meeting up with a contingent of the Legion of the Dead."

This was bad. The Legion were casteless dwarfs battling the darkspawn in the deep roads. If you joined the Legion you were already considered dead. If a Warden met up with them, they were surely on their way down. Adaar just knew how Varric would hate that news.

"Do you have information as to where they were headed?" She needed to know and the king indulged her.

"Indeed. My subjects have already prepared a map of the old Thaigs in question. I am sure you want to set out as soon as possible. There is no way of saying how far they have gone already .. Or if the Warden is still alive." He added the last part almost as an afterthought.

"One more question if you allow." Adaar tried to look as humble as possible.

"Of course Inquisitor." It was met with approval.

"Did the Warden have company with her? A red haired woman maybe?"

The king shook his head thoughtfully. "I have gotten no word of such a woman. But it may be possible. The Warden did not raise much attention, but was accompanied by some other people who were not described to me in detail. There may have been another woman among them."

This was more than Adaar had hoped for. They had a lead and it was at least possible her friend was among the people they were chasing.

For the rest of the evening she was in rather high spirits. Even if she was eager to continue the search it was better they took another night of rest. In the morning they would be going down into the forgotten thaigs below Orzammar, where giant spiders and darkspawn roamed.

"Oh I just knew it would be the blasted deep roads again." Varric threw his hands up in exasperation.

"We have to try." Adaar insisted. "She could be down there, needing our help."

The dwarf did not like it, but he knew he would follow the Inquisitor to the black city and back.

"I take it we start the search tomorrow?" He asked.

"Tomorrow morning. Us two, Bull and Sparks. Cullen, you take the rest of the men and march back to the Skyhold. Tell Josephine where we've gone and keep looking for other leads to Leliana. We don't know if she's really down there." The Inquisitor scrunched up the Map she had gotten from Bhelen in her right hand.

"With all due respect, but no." The Commanders words astounded Adaar.

"What do you mean 'no'? Are you that crazy for the deep roads? They are not a pretty sight, Curly."

Varric could not understand why the man would refuse such a sensible order.

"I really don't want to discuss this." Adaar said. "Why do you think you should stay?"

The Commander looked at his feet, then back into Adaars eyes and said in a definite voice: "I'll order the men back to the keep. Captain Tailor can bring the information of our whereabouts to Josephine. She's a reliable woman, a strong leader too. Neria Surana was one of the strongest mages the circle has ever seen. She has bested abominations and even an archdemon."

"Go on!" The Inquisitor was curious to see where this was going.

"We know at least some of the wardens where under Corypheus influence. There is no proof this one is still in her right mind. If she decides to attack you someone with templar-training at your side might be your best chance at getting out alive."

"The woman defeated an army of darkspawn and you think you might stand up to her?" Adaar grinned. "You are truly one of ours."

His reasons had persuaded her. Together they were stronger and more versatile and the man was eager. She liked that in her companions.

However as they retired to their rooms, her cuddled up against her lover, she worried. The darkspawns taint was an enemy that could not be fought with weapons. If any of them fell sick with it, it was a death sentence.

She was now glad the mage had thought of the possibility before they set off at Skyhold. In their pockets was a potion that gave at least minor protection against the taint.

The mages at the hold had recreated it from the time Fereldens king Maric was traveling into the deep roads with a group of grey wardens. They could only hope it would be enough.

They were woken by some of King Bhelens guards in the morning and led to a narrow guarded tunnel on the outskirts of the city.

"We have prepared these potions." Asha pulled some small flasks out of her satchel. "Though they will not give full protection from the taint we run a better chance with them."

The mage tried to keep her voice steady, but the prospect of any of them catching the dreaded desease of the darkspawn turned her innards into goo. She was terrified.

"Right, down with it! I don't want to see any of you turn into a ghul." Adaar emptied one of the flasks and grimaced. Varric did not look pleased either.

"That tastes worse than the poultices I used to mistake for potions." The Bull laughed, when he gulped down his portion.

"Vile." Cullen agreed and asked: "What is in it?"

The mage, who had emptied her flask in silence, tried to remember the contents, but decided to keep it short: "Mostly herbs, deep mushrooms, a pinch of lyriumdust .. Oh maker I'm sorry."

She clapped a hand in front of her mouth and looked at the Commander in shock.

"Vital ingredient I am sure." He gave a solemn nod. "We will see."

He had managed to not have a run in with the substance for so long. A part of him was afraid what this would do to him, but it was not the same wasn't it? Though it was lyrium.

"Nothing to be done about it now." Adaar looked at him sternly. She could not risk losing any of them, even if they gave her grief like this sometimes. Always something or someone to worry about, such was the life of the Inquisitor.

They descended down into the tunnel and soon rough hewn stone gave way to a broad road adorned with statues of dwarven paragons on each side.

Though the stone was dirty and blackened in places and the air was stale the old deep roads had lost nothing of their grandness. There was still a monumental beauty hidden below the earth, even if it was now inhabited solely by darkspawn, giant spiders and deepstalkers.

As they proceeded farther down the road, following the directions on the map Bhelen had given them, they only seemed to encounter the last category mentioned.

"I hate these critters." The Bull complained as he crushed the head of one deepstalker with a heavy boot.

"Better than some of the other things we could find down here." Varric reminded him and hoped his words would not foreshadow those.

Soon they entered their first small Thaig on the way. The ancient houses lay in ruins and where overgrown with lichen and twines. The spider's webs on some of the walls farther away where unsettling as they annunciated the presence of giant spiders in the shadows.

"The veil is awfully thin here." Asha announced with disquiet.

"Any rifts or cracks? Do you expect demons?" Adaar looked grimly at the shadows dancing in the light of their torches.

"No, it's thin, but not damaged. But the prospect of sleeping here is unsettling." The mage knew, that sooner or later they had to rest. She did not look forward to entering the fade here.

They said the elf, Solas, had slept in old ruins, experiencing ancient battles and memories of old. But she was nowhere near that adventurous. Her own memories were unpleasant enough at times, she did not want to experience those of the dwarfs that died down here.

"There is still some time left before we have to make camp." Adaar tried to ease her concerns. "Maybe we'll find a more stable place. Further away from the spiders too."

As if on cue those were slowly creeping out of the corners of the cavern and eying the adventurers that had stumbled into their lair.

The Inquisitor and Commander raised their shields and held the beasts off, while Varric pelted them with quarrels. Asha sent lightning through the hairy bodies glistening with ichor in the dark of the cave.

The Iron Bull was swinging his axe in wide arks dismembering spiders left and right. His movements where powerful and flowing. Though the big man was as heavy as he was it looked almost like a dance. A very bloody dance. With spiders legs and fangs going flying everywhere.

They worked well together and the spiders were soon taken care of.

Just like that they continued through the underground roads and smaller caverns of the deep roads. As they went deeper they started to meet with isolated darkspawn.

Very careful not to be hurt by their contaminated blades and not to come into contact with their blood they killed those too.

"I guess if we go deeper now we'll not find a safe place to rest anymore." Varric grabbed at the Inquisitors arm to get her attention.

"We passed a small cave at the side of the road just some minutes ago." Cullen obviously had kept an eye open for an easily to defend resting place. "We could get back there now, set up camp and continue to our destination tomorrow."

"Or when we feel rested. Damn me if I know when 'tomorrow' is down here." Varric grumbled.

"No stone sense?" The mage looked at him questioning.

"I'm from the city Sparklehands. I like to see the sun go up and the clouds above my head. All this stone makes me sick." He sounded annoyed. "Anyway let's go back, my feet are killing me."

The Inquisitor took the lead again with the Bull at her side, while Cullen walked at the back of their party.

They indeed found the little cave where the former templar had indicated it would be.

It was small and had two narrow openings to the broader road they were traveling.

"Easily defendable and we have a second exit to flee if one should get overrun with darkspawn. Not to bad." The Bull was obviously satisfied with the place.

As Asha set up protective spells at the entrances the others started to make a fire and lay out the bedrolls. Varric produced some nug-meat and bread out of his bag and everyone started to eat in silence.

When the mage went back to the fire Varric held her supper out to her.

"Eat Sparklehands!" he said, "You already look awfully pale, can't have you toppling over from hunger."

"This is my colour." She pouted. It was true, her skin was quite light and with the big eyes and dark brown tresses curling around her face one might mistake it for a sickly pale pallor. Down here in the dark with the fire forcing dark shadows she might have looked like a ghost.

"No offense meant Sparklehands. Just worrying." Varric gave her a friendly smile and she knew he was sincere.

"Shouldn't worry so much, dwarf." The Bull chimed in. "Wouldn't be here if we died so easily, not any of us."

And he was right. Adaar did not like to take someone into battle she did not trust to hold their own. Even better were people she could trust with her life too and down here this was essential.

"Varric you'll take first watch. Then me, Bull, Cullen, last is Sparks. Let's see how that works. We have no way to tell the time down here, so everyone just try to get some sleep and wake the next one before you fall over from exhaustion." She yawned, second watch was unthankful, always hard to get up. And Varric was right, the mage looked awfully fragile, better to have her sleep the longest.

She moved her bedroll closer to that of the Bull and stretched like a giant grey cat. "Come here big guy, your Inquisitor demands some back-rubs." She called out to him playfully.

Varric sat with his back to the fire and watched the caves entrance.

Asha crawled inside her bedroll and tried to block out the happy noises the Inquisitor was making.

"Makers breath, they know no shame." It sounded exasperated from the bedroll next to her.

In the dark she could make out the Commanders face as he was trying to find a comfortable position laying on his back in full armour.

"The armour makes her muscles tense up, I guess it's not so bad." Asha grinned in the darkness.

"They could at least be quiet about it." The man was still not convinced.

"Okay, I can't watch this." Asha took all her courage and walked over to his bedroll.

"Up, the armour comes off. We have magical wards and someone standing watch. If anything happens I'll help you put it back on. You can't possibly sleep like this."

Varric chuckled from his place by the fire. Someone had to say it. Judging from the dark circles below the Commanders eyes he had not slept well since they arrived in Orzammar.

Cullen was obviously stunned into silence as he let the mage help him unbuckle his breastplate.

"You could say I .. squired for the Sers Liften and Trass. Know what I'm doing." She explained, while working on the armours straps.

"Good to know. Else I would have wondered where you practised undressing soldiers."

Clad in his doublet and trousers now the Commander climbed back into his bedroll while Asha stomped back to her own. As soon as she closed her eyes she was fast asleep.

In the fade she saw shades of dwarfs long gone walking down these ancient roads. And she saw the darkspawn ending the golden age of dwarfs in an endless press of corrupted bodies spilling from the belly of the earth.

When she woke she saw Cullen, armoured again, sitting by the fire, his eyes on the cave-entrance. She felt she should have been woken, but all the others were still sleeping. Silently she packed her bedroll and padded over to him.

"My turn?" She whispered and saw him flinch for a second.

"Sneaking up on an armed man? Again?" He smiled and indicated her to sit down beside him.

"I was not sneaking back then." She grinned. It did not seem he planned on going back to sleep again.

"Slept well?" Asha asked and noticed, that the dark circles around the Commanders eyes had considerably diminished.

"In fact I did. Trying to sleep in armour was probably not one of my best ideas." He nodded, "However I wanted to be able to protect .."

"..Us. I know." The mage inclined her head. "You do that better if you are not dead tired."

"I had not slept well before." He admitted, "What was it with the beds they gave us in Orzammar? I don't get how Adaar and the Bull managed."

"Slept on the ground I wager."

"Of course." Cullen shook his head. "Should have done the same."

The mage giggled. The thought of the big man trying to sleep on a tiny dwarven bed was entertaining.

"I'm glad you feel better now." It sounded as sincere as she felt.

"The lyrium in your potion seems to have held the nightmares at bay." Cullen did not seem very relieved by that. "I just fear what may happen if the effect wears off."

Asha had the strong urge to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew he could overcome the lingering effects of the lyrium-addiction he thought he had left behind.

"Can you hear it sing too?" She had never talked to a templar about the effects the blue liquid had on her. She wondered how different mages and others perceived its properties.

Cullen looked at her in wonderment. "Not this time, but I remember a kind of whispering sensation from back then." He admitted.

"If I take it, it sings in my blood." She continued, "I don't like it much. Try to limit its use as much as I can."

He could see the sense in that and how it would frighten even a mage.

"I think it lives. Not like people do, but it is .. living magic." Asha never thought she would share these thoughts with a former templar.

"That explains how the red lyrium can be overtaken by the taint." Cullen agreed to her hypothesis.

"So that's what it is? Tainted lyrium?" She had heard about the substance from Varric and Adaar before, and she had seen what had been done to the mages in Corypheus army, but this tidbit of information was new to her.

When they packed up camp later and continued on their way deeper and deeper into the dephts of the tunnels she could not help thinking about lyrium and it's connection to mages, to her.

They made good way until they stumbled upon a rockslide that blocked the road.

Varric leaned heavily on the remains of a fallen statue. "Now that's just perfect."

"How do we proceed Inquisitor?" Concerned Cullen looked up at the obstructed tunnel. There was no way they could clear the path.

"We have to double back, look for an alternate tunnel." The Bull stated the obvious.

All of them knew that leaving the old dwarven road would render their map almost useless. But going back without having found any trace of the Warden or Leliana was no option.

They eventually found a way through the rock, rough hewn walls covered in lichen pressing in on them. Narrow path led to narrow path until it opened again to a bigger cavern. They heard water dripping in the dark and the air felt moist and heavy in their throats.

A faint glow came from one of the walls.

"Andrastes flaming underthings, tell me it's not what I think it is." Varrics exclamation earned him a reprimanding look from the former templar.

Adaar quickly realized that yes, indeed it was what Varric thought and ordered the others to take care. "Red Lyrium." She said. "Don't touch it!"

"Was not keen on it." The Bull agreed, scanning the rest of the cave as far as the torchlight would allow.

There was a small pond, probably fed by an underwater-spring.

"I would not recommend to drink that water either. That red shit has probably already seeped in." Varric asserted, noticing how the red stone formations glistened wet beside the water.

It would have been nice to refill their waterskins with some fresh springwater, but under these circumstances drinking from the pond was madness.

However they had brought enough provisions as not to starve or die of thirst. Nobody knew if you were able to resupply down here, so it was not wise to count on it.

"Seems like more red lyrium down that path." Adaar pointed in the direction of another tunnel. "If I read that map right this is the route to take."

The tunnel was little less narrow than the ones before but now the walls were giving off a disconcerting red glow more and more often.

To add to their growing discomfort they could hear faint scratching and grunts from behind the walls without really being able to tell from where the sounds were coming.

The tunnel opened again to one of the ancient dwarven roads, faint light seeping into the opening.

Adaar looked around the corner carefully und quickly signaled a stop, pulling her head back in.

"Darkspawn." She mouthed. "Many."

The monsters were still a good way off and the path seemed clear in the direction they would be taking but walking out there bore the chance of being detected.

"Any ideas?" She whispered and examined the faces of her companions.

"I could try a hiding spell." Ashas voice did not sound much louder than the grunts of the far off creatures. "It would not make us invisible but .. hard to look at kinda. Like you see, but you don't want to see, your eye refusing to take in. We would have to be very silent though, fast too."

Adaar nodded. "Do it! Then down to the right, extinguish the torches, keep in the dark. Fast and stealthy."

Somehow Varric doubted the stealth-abilities of his group members. The mage was fine, as long as she did not fall over the hem of her robes, but the warriors?

The Bull did not wear heavy armour, his massive body being all the protection he needed against ordinary foes, but Adaar and Cullen tended to clang with every step.

Well, there was nothing to be done about that now. As Asha wove the spell over them he decided to hope for the best.

The sensation was unusual, a bit uncomfortable even. All of a sudden Cullen found it difficult to look his companions into the face. His eyes seemed to be intent on drifting in another direction.

So this was what it should be for the darkspawn also. As long as they did not announce their presence this just might work.

They quickly scurried out of their tunnel and into the darkness of the road. The noise of the group of darkspawn behind them did not increase or come closer. They did not dare look behind them as long as they were still that close.

The way before them was pitch-dark and full of rubble. They had almost gotten away when the Bulls axe hit one of the paragon statues on the roadside.

In the silence the impact echoed like a drumbeat.

Suddenly the noise behind them rose. The grunting and scuffling of feet grew louder and louder. The Inquisitors group set off into a run.

It were just too many. They would not be able to fight them off in this terrain, in the gloomy dark. Rounding another corner another tunnel opened up beside the road and offered a means of escape.

Not having much of a choice with the horde close behind them the Inquisitor waved her companions into the opening, following last behind Asha.

Adaar was intent on fighting off the monsters one by one, but Asha weaseled in front of her and raised her arms.

With a strong burst of magical energy directed at the tunnel-entrance she collapsed the ceiling on the first darkspawn approaching and blocked off the path behind them.

Adaar took her by the arm forcefully as they emerged from the massive cloud of dust that action induced.

"What was that?" Adaar shouted in her face.

"Pretty clever I'd say." Varric shrugged. "Wouldn't have been able to get out of there unscathed if you did fight. Just too many of the buggers."

The Inquisitor ground her teeth. "You did not exactly have time to discuss that with me, did you?"

She ruffled the mages already unruly hair. Asha nodded while trying to stifle a cough.

In this moment it was the only way out she saw. However the blocked off part behind them meant they had to find yet another way out.

"Hah, don't worry about it Sparks." The Bull put his giant arm around her shoulders, "With the road being full of darkspawn as it is we could not have gone back there anyway."

They relighted the torches and carefully eased their way through the tunnel. There were still traces of red lyrium everywhere and the look on Varrics face seemed haunted.

"I had really hoped this had died with Corypheus." He admitted to Cullen, who walked right behind him.

"I don't want to think on the possibility that others like him could be down here." The Commander was worried as well. There were probably other good explanations for the dreaded stuff down here, but it did sure raise some concerns.

When the tunnel ended this time it opened to a spectacular view. They stood on a small ledge above a mighty cavern. Down there lay a giant Thaig, houses and roads still illuminated by braziers in which magical lights seemed to glow.

"It's beautiful." Asha breathed.

"The once mighty empire of the dwarfs." Varric sounded almost sad.

At the outskirts of the settlement Cullen could see the flickering of a fire.

"Someone has set up camp down there." He pointed out.

Slowly they climbed down into the cavern, mindful of where they put their feet. The descent was treachery and steep, the ground covered in rubble.

When they reached the camp, consisting of a lone tent and a fireplace in which embers were still glowing low they could not see a living soul.

"Someone has been here recently. Guess they went into hiding when they saw us coming." Varric pointed out.

"Someone would like to know who you are and what you hope to find here." A stern female voice came from a position slightly higher up.

They turned their heads to find a dainty elven woman standing there, staff in one hand, fire dancing above the other.

Despite her slim figure the Warden seemed imposing. Her white hair framed her finely chiseled face beautifully, her skin looked like porcelain with perfect pink lips, slightly opened to reveal white teeth just as perfect.

The dark green eyes sparkling with vigor topped off her immaculate appearance ideally.

"You are Neria Surana." Adaar stated and held the other womans hard gaze. "We were looking for you."

"And why would you do this?" The elf wanted to know. Few people were brave or stupid enough to enter the deep roads on a wild goose chase like this.

"I am Inquisitor Adaar, a friend of Leliana." The Qunari offered and let her shield sink down a bit. "We should have a talk."

"Maybe." The Warden hopped down from her position extinguishing the flame she had waiting in her palm. "I have heard of the Inquisition. You were quite successful before I went down here and missed out on new information. Did you slay Corypheus?"

"We did, the breach was closed. But I see there is still red lyrium down here." Adaar observed.

"Yes. The dreadful stuff is all over the place." Neria furrowed her brow. "Thought it may have to do with the Architect. Another talking darkspawn, if you did not meet him you did not miss out." She spat.

Then her eyes fell on the other members of the party. She had almost not recognized him in this foreign armour. And the mage was no stranger either.

"Amell." Her voice was matter of fact, friendliness seemed to be beyond her. "Templar Cullen."

"I am not a templar anymore." The latter offered.

"We call him Commander." Adaar fell in.

"Or Curly, but I doubt he'll want you to call him that." Varric could not hold his mouth closed, while the Bull only watched in amusement.

"Well, if you don't want to wake up with a sword through your heart you should probably call him 'get the fuck away from me' Amell." The warden tried to caution the other mage.

"You can stay here for the moment." She then added, pointing to Cullen. "Just, keep him away from me, I don't trust him. I will answer all your questions Inquisitor Adaar and then you will leave me to my darkspawn and my song again."

They set up camp not far from Nerias tent, lighting another fire while Adaar spoke with the elven mage.

Neria had written a letter to Leliana, in which she had informed her of the madness most of the wardens around her had befallen. The supposed song of the calling in her head, rousing her from her dreams she had then set out to the deep roads. She had hoped to reunite with her lover here, whom she had last seen when he went to Weisshaupt.

Instead she had found an unsettling amount of red lyrium underground.

Neria agreed she would share information about the reasons with Adaar eventually, if she found something. But she had not seen Leliana and did know nothing about her whereabouts.

Adaar was less than happy when she went to sleep in the Bulls arms later. All the dangers they had faced and it had gotten them nowhere.

That they still had to find a way out again was the other thing that did nothing to lift her spirits.

When everyone else was sleeping Neria took Asha aside to talk to her.

"Do you have any idea what dangerous company you keep?" She asked the other mage bluntly.

Asha shook her head. "You are mistaken. I trust every single one of them. They are not only companions but my friends."

"Even the one who wanted you dead?" Neria was not swayed so easily. "You did not hear him pleading with me .. **pleading** to kill all of you. That man you trust so much wanted me to take the life of every last mage in the circle."

"I actually knew that. Yes." The answer surprised the Warden.

"After you killed Uldred I spoke to senior enchanter Wynne." Asha explained herself. "She told me to be careful, for all of our sakes if knight commander Greagor would not have been able to control the situation."

"Good old Greagor." The Warden looked down at the lights of the Thaig in thought. "A man of integrity, even if we seldom were of a mind."

"What with Jowan and the bloodmagic and all." Asha spoke up.

"Yeah, that. Glad to hear he kept the mages safe until the uprising."

The other mage still felt need to defend the former templar: "They sent Cullen away to Kirkwall. He stood against Meredith with the Champion, with the mages. He changed so much, you would not believe."

The elf nodded again. "Good. It was actually quite sad to hear him condemn all of us." She looked over to the other fire, where the rest of the Inquisitors group was sleeping.

"You hurt him." "You forgave too easily." They exchanged arguments briefly.

"Whatever, it's your life you're risking." Neria shook her head defeated. "That man is still haunted as you can see. Watch your back."

When Asha walked back to the other fire she could see what Neria meant. While Adaar and the Bull were sleeping as peaceful as ever and Varric was curled up around Bianca in silent slumber the Commander was tossing and turning.

His mouth opened in silent screams, his body jerking as if he was in pain the man slept as unrestful as she had ever seen someone do. The thought of the nightmares he must have had almost brought a tear to her eyes.

Asha kneeled down beside Cullen silently and laid a hand on his forehead. Slowly she began stroking his hair, caressing the redblonde curls and humming a soothing chantry song.

After a while he seemed to quieten, the set of his brows easing from the frown he had displayed earlier.

The small amount of lyrium in the potion had given the man a restful night of sleep, only for his dreams to come back worse than ever now. But if lyrium was living magic, so where mages. Surely it was different, but if her presence could soothe him she would gladly try.

She had planned on moving away as soon as he slept more peacefully but could somehow not wrest herself away. Her hand kept playing with his hair, while her eyes studied the soft slope of his mouth, the small scar on his upper lip.

She had known that the man opted for her death once. But if she had been in his place, she would probably have wished for the same.

Captivated by his lips, the shape of his jawline and deeply in thought she did not realize amber eyes looking up at her.

As she finally noticed she pulled back her hand as if he had burned her.

"I did not mean to.." She stuttered, blushing heavily.

"That actually was quite nice." He said sitting up. "I did not mean to startle you."

He liked having his hair petted by her? Ashas heart was fluttering in her chest.

"But, I'm a mage." The words stumbled out of her mouth. "Does it not bother you? Having a mage touch you?"

"Did we not already talk about that?" Cullen looked at her, taking hold of the hand she had jerked away earlier. "You are you, how could it bother me?"

His voice was low and soft and the mage felt warmth creeping up inside her chest, clawing at her innards.

"How did you get this scar?" She pointed to the one that marred his upper lip.

"Kirkwall, someone tried to stab me during the fights in the city." He supplied readily. "How did you get those on your back?"

"You peeked!" She squeeked and hushed herself quickly, as not to wake the others. "You said you'd keep your eyes closed!" She accused a little quieter now.

"I am a weak man, forgive me." He had the audacity to smile. "I am still curious, that looked awful. I mean, not awful like that, your back is fine .. ugh." Cullen held his head .. how did he manage to flunk this so badly?

"Whipping." Asha said softly. The Commander looked at her in shock. Who would do such a thing?

"Three of my apprentices played a prank on the new Knight Commander. The one who came after Greagors retirement. They were found out and faced punishment. As their mentor they were my liability. One whiplash for one apprentice."

Templars had been doing such things? How could he not have known. Cullen was taken aback.

"I'm sorry." Not thinking about it he took her into his arms. Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks. Nobody before had ever apologized.


	5. Chapter 5

The Warden looked down into the Thaig glumly. She had been here for days since she parted with the Legion. The two recruits she had in tow went with the dwarfs when she decided she would stay and wait for her beloved.

There had been no word from Alistair for so long now, she almost believed he might be dead. But would she not have felt that? Should she not have? Was their connection so weak, that she could stay oblivious to his perils, far away as he might be?

Templars, what was it with them amd mages? That stupid Amell was obviously smitten with the one she had rescued from Uldreds prison and the torture by demons so long ago. The same Templar that had been infatuated with herself back then. How naive of the girl to think a man like this would ever trust another mage. Or could she be right? Could people change that much?

Neria was shocked out of her reveries by movement in the shadows at the other end of the cavern. It could not be spiders, too large was the number of bodies that spilled into the cave.

They were still far away and had probably not seen them. But why did they come now? Where they attracted by the taint in her blood or did ne newcomers lead them here unknowningly?

It did not matter.

The Warden mage extinguished her fire quickly and bolted down to the Inquisitors group.

"Darkspawn!" She warned in a hushed voice. "Everybody up, get armoured, get your weapons. We need to be out of here."

Neria threw dirt on the fire to quench it's flames while the others hurriedly prepared for a fight.

The Bull assisted Adaar with the buckles on her breastplate while Varric quickly packed up the bedrolls. Asha helped fasten the straps on Cullens armour, so they where ready quite quickly while the darkspawn-horde that rolled into the Thaig was still a good way off.

In the darkness they could still hope to go undetected, but staying was no option.

As they made their way out, the guttural shouts and grunts behind them rose to a cacophony. The whole cave seemed to be filled by the corrupted stinking creatures.

"That's what it must have been like, when the dwarfs where expelled from here." Varric mused, while they climbed up a slope leading to another tunnel.

"Maybe. Whatever you do, don't let them get you alive." Neria gave an especially stern look to the other two women in the party.

"They take prisoners?" Adaar was astonished.

"They do .. kind of." The warden spat on the ground. "Believe me, you've never seen a broodmother. If you did you'd readily wish for death instead of .. that."

They hurried into the tunnel, while the sounds of the horde still grew closer.

"Seems to me all we do is running lately." The Bull sounded almost cheerful. "I'd rather chop the head off of some of the beasts."

"You'll get your chance." The Warden pointed ahead. Another small group of Hurlocks and Genlocks where blocking their path.

While the Bull and Adaar charged those, lopping of limbs and bashing in heads Neria turned to where they had come from and started a spell. She was concentrating deeply and raw energy crackled around her body. Asha could never hope to aquire that level of power, but she guessed it came with a price anyway, one she was not sure she was ready to pay.

She instead concentrated on sending chain-lightning into the enemy group ahead and weaving shield-magic around her friends. Varric stood at her side his crossbow Bianca making good work of their foes. Sometimes a single creature would escape the carnage before them and be stopped by a quick shieldbash to the face by Cullen, who fought just as valiantly as their two Qunari-companions.

Behind them the warden-mage had unleashed a mighty inferno of flames licking at the walls of the tunnel. Nothing could hope to come through there without getting burned to a crisp.

"Emissary!" Varric shouted, firing a quarrel in the direction, where he had spotted the darkspawn-mage.

Asha saw the Commander run towards the creature, expertly blocking a fireball with his shield. One holy smite later it was already struggling, having lost most of his mana reserves. In the blink of an eye the Bull was beside the former templar, cleaving into the foes body with his axe, sending his head flying.

The firestorm was still raging, heat growing almost unbearable in the narrow confines, when they ad eliminated the darkspawn-threat in front of them.

"Follow me!" Neria ran up to the front and lead them down another narrow tunnel. They weaved through a labyrinth of underground ways, feeling more lost by the minute, but the Warden seemed to know exactly where she was going. They fought off the occasional deepstalker and single Hurlock, but the main threat seemed to be left behind them.

There was not much time to breathe, more less talk, so they all just followed faces set in grim determination.

Suddenly the air grew considerably colder and after some more minutes light and a fresh wind came from an opening just before them.

They stepped out to find themselves in the middle of the Frostback-mountains. No path was to be seen below the thick layers of snow that covered the ground and the wind was biting cold.

Asha wished she had not left her warm coat in Orzammar.

Varric seemed just as happy with the situation: "There we are, in the middle of nowhere. Didn't expect less."

Adaar laughed. "At least we are all still very much alive. Thanks to you Warden." She turned to Neria who was still standing in the entrance of the cave.

"I'm not coming with you." She said. "I'm still waiting for someone. And while I do that, maybe I'll find out where all that red lyrium is coming from."

The Inquisitor had anticipated the mages response. "Try to contact us if you do, please. This is not just an issue of the Wardens."

"That may be so." Neria agreed. "As to where our Leliana is, I have no idea. But I sent letters to more than just her, maybe she has met up with some other old acquaintance."

That was at least another hint Adaar thought, though she was not happy having led her group into that much danger without really succeeding in their search.

And the danger was not over. They had left a good part of provisions and especially tents and winter coats at their quarters in Orzammar. The deep roads were not usually this cold and now they had to find their way to the nearest settlement or they might freeze to death.

"Enchant your weapons with fire!" Nerias voice was full of natural authority as she turned to the other mage. "That will help keeping you warm. You have blankets and still enough provisions. Keep to the east, you should find a settlement there soon enough."

Then, just like that she was gone.

Asha did as she said. Carrying weapons flaming with magical fire did indeed help, even if it took much of her concentration to upkeep the spell she was unused to.

Varric regarded the two Qunari trudging along in front of them with envy.

"Yeah, just go on. How about we walk a little faster, the snow reaches barely up to the knees anyway." He mumbled grudgingly. The poor man was wading through the snow which reached up to his thighs.

"Fear to freeze off something precious dwarf?" The Bull laughed. "Try walking right behind me, should help a little."

And indeed he was plowing a little trail trough the endless white before them.

When night fell Asha already could not feel her hands anymore. Her lips were blue and her teeth shattering. She had tried to balance a small firespell inside her palm, but the warmth had faded in seconds as she was still holding on to the spell that set her companions weapons aflame.

The blankets were holding off the brute of the wind that howled around them, but they did not provide much protection either.

When Adaar finally decided they would make camp in a secluded place under a rocky overhang they all were close to collapsing with cold and exhaustion.

"It reminds me of the night haven fell." The Commander spoke up, after they had set up a fire and their bedrolls on a dry spot of earth. The overhang provided some shelter from wind and snow and the fire helped to bring some life back into frozen fingers and toes.

"We are missing some of our friends from back then." Adaar reminded him sorrowful.

It was not only Leliana she was missing. She wondered where Solas might be. Though the elf was always an enigma to her, seemingly stuck to a world that had died a thousand years ago, she had grown fond of him and his softspoken nature.

Blackwall was determined to join the grey wardens for real now as soon as they got any word from Weisshaupt. Adaar could feel his will to leave and follow the path he should rightfully take, but the thought of losing him too was not a happy one.

Her Blackwall, that had betrayed her trust, but was so dear to her anyway. Their liaison had been a short one, but nevertheless he would always have a place in her heart.

Dorian, the one she had barely known when he came to them, that night when Corypheus' mages attacked. The one who risked his own life to warn them and had probably saved many another by doing so.

He would do well back in Tevinter, she was sure of it. She only wished they could have had a little more time laughing and talking. His playful nature being a welcome distraction in the perils they faced.

"Reminiscing my love?" The Bull scooted closer, putting an arm around her and covering both their shoulders with his own blanket. Huddled together like this Adaar felt more than just the warmth of the fire and his body seep into her.

She missed some of her friends, but she still had so much in those that were still around.

Asha sat so close to the fire, that she could feel it's heat burn through the soles of her boots. The hem of her robe was close to being singed, but she trusted in the protective spells woven into it.

"Looking worse than usual Sparklehands." Varric commented with an apprehensive look at the mages pale face.

"Charming. You just know how to compliment a woman." Asha smiled weakly through blue lips.

"You know me, a sweet-talker by nature." The dwarf chuckled. The woman was clearly exhausted and cold to the bone, but would surely recover soon. The others seemed more hardened to battle and the inconveniences of being out in the wilds.

Close to the fire and covered well by a woolen blanket Varric himself almost felt comfortable again. He patted Bianca and closed his eyes to the flickering warmth in front of him. They had eaten a humble dinner of bread and ram-jerky and with a full belly and dry resting place this night would not be so bad. If Adaar decided that he should have first watch she should tell him soon he thought, because as it was he was close to drifting away into sleep.

Seeing her Inquisitor and the Bull snuggled up together Asha glanced longingly at the Commander who had set his armour and weapons aside and warmed his hands at the fire.

Adaar did not bother to determine a watch rythm. Exhausted by the trek through the deep snows and calmed by fire and warmth of her companion she fell asleep soon as did the Bull.

The mage decided, she would just wake them later. She had been walking in their footsteps, always fearing to hinder their progress with her own weakness. Paving a path for all of them had taken a toll on their leader and her lover, their sleep was well earned.

"Don't you want to sleep?" Cullen had come over to her and kneeled beside her.

"I thought I'd just take first watch." The mage answered in a soft voice. "I was traveling light and walking in their footsteps all the time. I can stay awake for a while longer."

The Commander inclined his head. "You look cold." He said with sincere concern.

"Don't we all?" She smiled. "You can always ever turn one side to the fire, the other is freezing. Cold face or cold a.. behind. Tough choice."

Just as she was saying it she felt the man scooting closer, then gently folding his arms around her from behind. The warmth of him, feeling his soft breath near her ear, it was almost too much to bear.

"Better?" She could hear the smile on his voice and only brought out an approving hum.

"Too bad we did not bring cards." She tried to distract herself from the overly fast beating of her own heart. Could he feel it too?

"Oh better not." The Commander said in amusement. "I would probably only lose my pants again and things would get awkward."

She giggled: "Because they are totally not now."

"Right." He shook his head. How did it happen that he sometimes just seemed to forget how to talk to people?

"I'm glad that you .. that all of us are still alive." Asha admitted, looking hard into the flames. "With the darkspawn everywhere, the taint. We could have gotten lost, sick, or worse." She thought back about what Neria had said about broodmothers.

"I'm glad too." His embrace tightened somewhat. He had feared for the Inquisitors life when she had stood against Corypheus alone in Haven. He did not want to think about the possibility of losing any of his friends.

He felt her hair brushing softly against his cheek, smelled the light fragrance of it despite their previous visit to the deep roads. He did not want to think of losing her.

Cullen fell asleep his head on her shoulder and arms still around her. As it was already some hours into the night and she felt her eyes getting heavier by the minute she gently disentangled herself, letting him sink down onto her bedroll. She pulled his blanket closer together around him and woke Adaar, who looked at her sleepily from purple eyes.

"I'm sorry to wake you already your grace." The mage said softly. "But I feel like I'm falling asleep any minute now. Would you take second watch?"

The Inquisitor nodded, crawling away from the warmth of the Bull and her blanket unhappily.

"Just Adaar will do, don't 'your grace' me please, it feels odd." She reprimanded the smaller woman. "Go to sleep, you look dead on your feet Sparks."

Being short one bedroll of her own Asha decided to just take the one the Commander hat left vacant. Snuggling into it she deeply inhaled. It smelled like him, a hint of sweat, leather and armour-grease that for her spelled safety and warmth.

Adaar saw the face of her army general contort in his sleep. He had told her about the nightmares, but she could have done without witnessing his discomfort. She had seen the occasional wince of pain on their journey when the supposedly newly fueled lyrium withdrawal had bugged him, but the man had not lost a word about it.

Adaar did not like futile complaints so she was just fine with that. Nevertheless she pitied the former templar and all of his brethren who still were dependent on the blue.

She had thought about the issue before and resolved to use her influence to prevent future templars from falling into the same trap. Maybe they could even bring a number of the more seasoned ones to stop taking lyrium.

The men had been told for years that only with it they would be able to perform the draining of magic, the holy smites that enabled them to fight so efficiently against mages. But she had seen what Cullen could do. The holy smite that had brought down the hurlock emissary had been powerful. She would not have liked to be on the receiving end of that. It would have hurt like hell, staggered her. For someone who relied on magic it was devastating.

No, she was sure of it, templar-abilities could be performed without tying a leash of lyrium around their necks, binding them to whoever was controlling their supply. This had to stop.

The night was calm and almost over when Adaar woke Varric, opting on letting the Bull sleep. The big man did not flinch once, always up for banter the previous day, but she had seen the exhaustion in his eyes.

She knew that demons frightened her lover, a foe that could overtake your mind and body. It was only natural that an enemy that he could not fight, like the darkspawns taint would rattle his composure as well.

She crawled back into the bedroll beside him, kissing him softly. The Bulls arms tightened around Adaar and she was soon again fast asleep.

When they all got up, sharing a quick breakfast the Inquisitors group was actually well rested again. The wood they had gathered the evening before to feed the fire had been burned almost completely and the remaining embers did not give off the same warmth they did during the night.

"Hey Bull, did I see you pissing your name into the snow earlier?" Varric taunted the big man.

"I am playful by nature." He answered laughing. "Can't be hold accountable for you being to short to do the same."

The others were shaking their heads in amusement and partly embarassment.

"You obviously have no idea." The dwarf replied cheerfully.

While it still was cold and the world bathed in seemingly endless white around them, the wind had let up. The journey was almost enjoyable and peaceful without the threat of the darkspawn breathing down their necks. Soon enough the endless snow gave way to dry earth and grassy grounds again. They reached a small village later in the day. Located beside a small lake it looked welcoming and peaceful.

The villagers were honored to host the Inquisitor and her companions in their humble home. As it turned out their journey through the deep roads had brought them south a little farther than Haven.

A road was leading from there back to the imperial highway, so they would be able to travel north again along the shore of Lake Calenhad and then west until they were back at the Skyhold.

Another restful night later they did exactly that.

The people of the small village had provided them with some fresh food and water and apart from the occasional bandit on the way they did not meet with much resistance.

Asha let her gaze wander above the waters of Lake Calenhad, which lay as still as a mirror in the afternoon sun.

"From this angle it's really beautiful." She said to noone in particular.

"Take it you did not appreciate the view from the towers windows?" Varric took a guess.

"The windows were always barred. More than one apprentice or mage had tried throwing themselves out of them I guess." Asha shrugged her shoulders. "The water looked more frightening from up there. Like it housed giant beasts in it's dark deeps, the kind that would chew you up and spit out your bones if you tried to swim over to shore."

Varric gazed down the lake and could almost imagine it.

"On stormy nights the lake was black as pitch, roaring like an angry monster itself. The ferryman would not set out then, too dangerous." She continued her tale.

"Some say that the magic of the mages that had drowned in it has changed the lake itself." She laughed. "But I think that's just stories. If you got as far as the lake you were not likely to be of a mind to drown yourself in it. You probably were one of the lucky ones, sent to a place outside the circle, working for some arl or bann in the country."

The dwarf nodded. Frighten them with stories and they would probably not try to swim their way to freedom. He wondered if the mage could even swim, would they have let them learn?

"Did you like it in the tower?" He asked instead.

"Sometimes." Asha shrugged. "I had not much of a choice and as far as circles go ours was quite lenient towards the mages. At least as long as First Enchanter Irving and Knight Commander Greagor were running things. It felt like home, even if I missed my family at first."

"But you had friends there?" The dwarf remembered the story about the wine-incident and smiled.

"I did, though a good number of them died during the fifth blight. The rebellion of Uldred and the Battle of Denerim did take their toll on us. Then came the war with the templars."

She looked to the ground sadly. "Nobody was left but me. Some aquaintances, mages I did not know well, sure. But even if it shames me, those were not people I truly cared about. Maybe if I had learned to know them better, but when the Inquisition called I was more than happy to go."

"Hah, I see you care now Sparks." The Bull had sidled up next to her and clapped her on the shoulder. Asha was not prepared and hit the ground hard.

"Oops." The Qunari looked abashed.

"I'm fine, still in one piece." She was quick to say. Her knee was scraped and her hands hurt from breaking her fall but she took the friendly gesture for what it was meant to be.

They were right after all. Adaar had given her a place among people she could truly care about.

It took them three days and a half to arrive back at the Skyhold.

Josephine welcomed them with great relief. Though the Inquisitors absence had not exceeded the time estimated for their trip seeing them all again whole and hearty was reassuring.

"I am so glad you are back." The antivan hugged Adaar as she entered the keep. "You won't believe what has been waiting for you here."

"More politics?" The Inquisitor ventured, one eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"No. Maybe not. Probably." Josephine herself did not seem sure what she should call the promised surprise.

"She means me." An accented voice came from one of the tables at the side of the great hall.

An elven man was sitting there, his legs crossed on the table holding a goblet of dark liquid.

"You sound antivan." Adaar noted.

"Ah, your grace has excellent hearing I see." The olive skin of the elf shone like liquid gold in the light of the braziers. He was good looking, though a bit scrawny for her liking.

"I take it a beauty like yourself can appreciate that of another." He commented the look she was giving him while standing up with catlike grace. "I am but your humble servant." He moved to a deep bow, all courtesy and false smiles.

"You are a rogue, probably an assassin, I can see that." The Inquisitor took a guess. It was a lucky one.

"You wound me my dear. But yes, I have been a crow once." The bright smile that accompanied this admission was unexpected. Most did not announce their affiliation with the group that cheerfully.

"As far as I know they don't just let their members go usually." Varric came up at the Inquisitors side. "And don't I know you?"

"Ah, the dwarven companion of the beautiful lady Hawke. How is the Champion of Kirkwall nowadays?" The elf seemed to be pleased seeing him here.

"She's fine." Varric did not plan on revealing anymore information about his friend.

"Glad to hear it. And you are right, naturally. The crows let their members go, but usually it's with a bright red smile on the throat. Sadly they did not have much luck bestowing me such a .. parting gift."

Varric tapped the Inquisitors arm. "I believe he was one of the Wardens companions."

The elf had excellent hearing. "Spot on my friend. Zevran Arainai, at your service Lady Inquisitor. I believe you have lost something of great importance, no?"

Adaar narrowed her eyes at him. "And what would you know about it?" She asked.

"Oh such venom on that resonant voice. Far be it from my mind to take such a beautiful jewel from your hands myself. But I may know where one may find what has been lost." That Zevran seemed to like games. Much more than Adaar liked them for sure.

"War council! Now!" The Inquisitor signaled for a servant to get her remaining advisors and set off to the council room with Josephine and the elf in tow.

Apparently Zevran had received a letter from his old warden friend, informing him about the lack of messages she got from Weisshaupt and the strange premature calling she was experiencing. He had then been contacted by Leliana, who still relied on his skills as a spy from time to time, regarding the same matter.

Both of them had worried not only about Neria but about their friend Alistair, the other warden too. There had been hints, that it could be dangerous to investigate the case of the wardens unexpected silence in person, but Zevran surmised, that Leliana had indeed ventured to Weisshaupt without waiting for him as he had hoped.

Cassandra was certain that Leliana would be able to manage the situation by herself. Anderfels was a far way off. She did not like the thought of Adaar following another dubious hint such a far distance away.

Even Josephine, who worried about her old friends wellbeing was not happy with the prospect of having the Inquisitor make a journey like that. Though the immediate threat by Corypheus had been taken care of, there were still many of the nobles who wanted to see Adaar and ask favours.

Cullen could see, that the Qunari would not give up so easily, just because there were many good reasons to stay. He tried to persuade her, to send yet another missive to their contacts in Anderfels. If nothing could be gleaned about the wardens fate, maybe they could at least find out if there had been sightings of someone with Lelianas features.

If that was the case, going there in person could be warranted.

Adaar finally agreed to wait for another week. Their aventures in the deep roads were still weighting on her and it would do them good to gather their strength.

Zevran would go ahead and send word himself eventually. He took some of the birds of the keep with him for this purpose.

"Ah, crows." He said. "Fine companions, I think we will get along splendidly, no?"

And just like that it became quiet at the keep once more.


	6. Chapter 6

The tavern was bustling with people. Asha had seated herself at a secluded table on the side and enjoyed a tasty supper of potatoes and nug-drippings.

"Sparks." The Iron Bull seated himself opposite of her and poked at some of her nugmeat with his fork.

"Whoah, that's mine." The mage was quick to say, blocking the offending cutlery with her own.

"Nice reflexes." Praised the Bull her surprisingly effective counter. He placed his own supper in front of himself and started eating.

"Ram roast with sweet potatoes and some herb seasoning I cannot identify. Good though." He commented on the contents of his plate.

"Potatoes and nug-drippings, not nearly as good as the ones I ate in Orzammar." Came the mages reply.

"Good thing then I did not succeed in stealing them from you. Wouldn't want anything less." The big man grinned.

"You can have a taste if you like." Asha offered. "I was just surprised."

"Had siblings?"

She shook her head. "A bunch of fellow apprentices, very hungry folk. Almost the same."

The Bull nodded. He had grown up in the care of the Tamassrans, women who cared for groups of Qunari-children. Though he had never known his biological parents he did not grow up without the company of other kids.

"Adaar said to wait for new messages from Anderfels. She believes Leliana might be in Weisshaupt. She is itching to go herself, but Cullen made her stay for now."

Whatever Adaar was planing to do, the Bull would be by her side. But he was not sad to have some days of calm before their chase continued. It meant eating the good food of the keeps cooks, drinking with his Chargers and sleeping in an actual bed aside Adaar every night. If they did sleep.

If there was no fight or march expected on the morrow he could do with a lack of sleep now and then. What he got instead was worth it.

Asha was glad to hear it. "Do you think she will want me along again?" She asked.

"Be sure of it. She likes having a mage with her. If you ever saw her trying to light a fire by rubbing two sticks together you know why." The Bull chuckled and turned back to his food.

They continued to eat in silence until Varric appeared with Cassandra and Josephine in tow.

"Hey there Bull, Sparklehands. See, I brought the Seeker and Ruffles for a game of cards." He announced happily.

"And I assured that Sparks would have no chance to flee the place before your arrival." Came the Bulls retort. So they were planning this? Why should she want to flee? Ashas face was lit up by a bright smile.

"I had hoped we would be playing again." She got up and quickly cleaned the empty dishes away. With some newly aquired tankards full of ale they seated themselves on the big table, shooing away some other dinnerguests.

"Adaar will join us soon." Varric began shuffling the cards. "She was looking for Curly and Blackwall to ask if they were up for a game."

"Ask?" The Bull doubted that Adaar would really want the guys opinion, she usually demanded attendance.

"Right. I stand corrected. Getting their asses here of course. " The dwarfs grin was infectuous.

Just as expected the other three players arrived soon.

Asha had seen Blackwall hanging around the stables before, but always shied away from talking to the dark haired man. His whole demeanor seemed so abrasive since the Inquisition fought the Grey Wardens at Adamant. He seemed in a much better mood this evening. Probably the prospect of having Adaar seek out information about Weisshaupt more urgently was lifting his spirits.

Just as everyone was sitting down Sera came skipping down the steps from her little chamber in the second story of the tavern.

"Did you really forget to invite me?" She piped up.

"Did not think it necessary and there you are." Adaar beckoned her to take a seat, pushing a tankard of ale into her hands.

"That's right, here I am. Good of you to think of me.. Bottoms up!" The elven girl happily gulped down her ale and hammered the empty tankard back down on the table. "One more!"

Shaking his head in amusement the Commander took a place opposite of Asha who was seated between Josephine and Cassandra.

Their eyes met and both were smiling.

"This is not a game of chess Commander." Asha reminded him. "You will lose."

"How could I my friend? Oh no. I know you well. You cannot fool me." He replied confidently.

Josephine looked especially doubting, since she knew how badly Cullen had fared at their games of Wicked Grace in the past. Not that the mage stood a chance, but she was probably better off than her armoured counterpart.

Indeed the mage proved her prediction right. While the beautiful antivan was dominating the game as usual Asha did not acquit herself too bad.

The alcohol was flowing freely as did the companions stories once again.

Blackwall told a hilarious tale about a bear that got into the larder and scared his recruits shitless before wandering off chewing on the trousers of an unlucky aspiring warden.

Cassandra surprised everyone by reciting one of her favourite passages of Varrics newest book. She figured as everyone already knew she was reading them, she could share her amusement about the best part of it too. And a good part it was, even if it made the tips of Ashas ears redden.

As their game ended they all had more or less problems walking straight.

The Bull was used to heavy drinking and excused himself, throwing Adaar over one of his mighty shoulders. Sera was making out with a waitress in a corner and Asha found herself wishing they would find themselves a room.

Varric filed out with Cassandra on his arm, receiving unwanted advice at how to continue his story. He rolled his eyes at Asha and both shared a smile.

When Blackwall and Josephine had gone, the latters pockets distinctly heavier than before the mage and Cullen found themselves alone at the big table.

"Well, I would go." She giggled. "But I don't trust my feet at the moment."

"I would know as they are trying to crawl up my leg." Her counterpart replied.

"I'm not sorry." She grinned, the alcohol fueling her courage.

"Neither am I."

She felt hot and quite certainly it was not only the drink provoking this reaction.

"Maybe we should go outside for a bit. Fresh air would do me good." She looked away quickly and tried to get up gracefully.

Her inebriation sabotaged that plan and the untrustworthy feet tangled with the legs of her chair causing her to fall flat on her face once again.

"Ouch." She moaned.

When he helped her up she shook her head smiling. "I obviously need no help embarrassing myself. Maybe we have found something I'm even better at than chess."

"I do not think so." Cullen took her arm and led her outside. "You are an excellent player. You would have to try harder on the embarrassing-part."

"I think I did quite well." Asha said rubbing her knee as they sat down on a bench in a secluded corner of the courtyard.

"You always do." He said and the look in his eyes did tell he did not refer to the tripping and stumbling.

"I .." She was lost for words. The cold night-air had sobered her somewhat, but having him so near again made her feel jittery and insecure.

"Listen, I do not know how to go about these things normally." Cullen started. "But I have been thinking. About you. Quite often I must admit."

"Like all of the time? Sounds familiar." The mage held his gaze with a shy smile.

And just like that he closed that last bit of distance between them. His lips felt soft and warm upon hers, his hand resting on her cheek. There was an urgency in the kiss, the feeling that this was something he had waited just too long to do.

"I am not sorry." He said, as they parted gasping for air.

"Neither am I."

She kissed him again, almost feverish, her hands caressing his neck, clawing at his doublet. When her fingers started searching for his trouser band he stopped her.

"No. Not like this." He was breathing heavily but tried to keep his voice steady, her hand in his.

"But I thought." She started looking dejected. "You don't want me?"

"You are inebriated." He said softly, stroking her face with one of his thumbs. "As am I. I do not want you to do something you might regret."

"I could never regret you." Asha said but backed off slightly.

"Not like this and not right now. Please." Cullen repeated and pulled her back in his arms. She melted into his embrace and it was enough for now.

Back in the Circle she had not been exactly adventurous in her affairs, but not celibate either. Going slow was not usually the way the mages had gone about it. You took your pleasures where they were offered, being quick about it lest you were seen.

This was completely new to her, as was the depth of the feelings she had for the former templar.

He led her back to the barracks whispering goodbyes and bestowing one last kiss on her.

She was sure hoping for more on the morrow.

The next days Asha almost felt in a dreamlike state. The man she had admired from far for so long had not only taken notice of her but they spent time together quite frequently now.

Between their work, games of chess and the sharing of touches and kisses on the battlements she felt that she had finally found happiness.

When she visited him in his office the other day around noon the other day he was still filling out paperwork.

"Care to join me for dinner?" She asked with a smile, just as the door fell closed.

"With pleasure." He looked up ut her briefly. "Just let me finish this first."

While he continued writing in educated, well rounded letters she examined the contents of his bookshelf. There were mostly tomes about tactics and warfare, some books about training of recruits and diplomacy of foreign countries. Boring.

"Found anything you like?" Cullen came to stand behind her after putting the last finishing touches on his report.

"Not on the shelf." Asha turned around with a grin and got a quick kiss in response.

"You still look tense." She commented on the rigid set of his shoulders. Sitting around all morning in armour, writing missives and reports was not a nice way to treat his shoulders and back.

"I could do something about this." She continued.

"And what would you have in mind?" Cullen was cautious. Did she want to warm him up a bath? Because he did not plan on getting naked right now and the prospect of dinner had been nice too before she had noticed how his shoulders were giving him pain.

She wiggled her fingers suggestively. "A massage I thought. Relieving the tension a bit. I promise I'll play nice."

He shook his head smiling and shrugged his shoulders. "That does sound tempting, I confess."

It had been a long time since someone had kneaded those aching muscles. There was nothing to it, was there?

He was still considering when Asha already started climbing up the ladder to his sleeping quarters.

"Are you coming or just admiring the view?" She called down to him.

His eyes followed her up. "I can not deny I did. But yes, coming."

When he unbuckled his breastplate and divested himself of his doublet and shirt it was Ashas turn to admire the view. She beckoned him to lay on the bed on his stomach and started to work on the rigid muscles of his back. He had to admit, that her surprisingly deft hands did good work of the knots and tangles that seemed to have plagued him.

She gently let her fingernails graze the skin on his neck and blew a kiss behind his earlobe eliciting a soft moan. Then a prickling sensation at the nape of his neck had Cullen jolting around, taking hold of her wrists.

"Did you just zap me?" He exclaimed irritated.

"Sorry. It happens sometimes. When I'm angry, frightened or .. aroused." She reddened. "I'm not exactly angry right now." She tried by ways of explanation.

The miniscule spark of electricity had not been unpleasant, but come as a surprise. The Commander still held her hands at the sides of her head when he said smiling: "I could drain your magic of course."

"Oh I know that one." He received a playful grin. "If you want to play Naughty Templar and the Apostate you only need say."

He let go in an instant, reddening considerably. "Why would anyone .. are you saying..?"

"Only heard about it of course." She chuckled, proud of herself for teasing the man like that.

After a bit more of cuddling they finally followed the pleading of their growling stomachs to get dinner. Asha wished these days of lighthearted company would never end, but naturally all things have to change.

A week had gone by without any new missives from their scouts and spies in Anderfels. Zevran had written but only complained about the absence of real challenges and interesting company.

He had gotten as far as Hossberg, but finding a way into Weisshaupt-Fortress seemed to be hard, as the roads were closed off by soldiers on the pretense of heavy bandit activity in the area.

Adaars patience was running thin and on her orders the Bull, Varric and Asha had to pack for their departure on the next day. Their horses had been brought back to the Keep from Orzammar and were saddled and groomed in the early hours of morning.

Varric was given a smallframed mare of calm temperament, but he was not too happy about facing such a distance on horseback.

Though Blackwall had pleaded with the Inquisitor about joining them Adaar had refused him. She did still care for the man and did not want him to confront the wardens while they did not know what their stance on his joining would be.

The advisors came to the courtyard to say their goodbyes as well. Josephine hugged Adaar telling her how she would miss her presence at the Skyhold. Naturally she also meant the Inquisition would miss its figurehead, but she truly did not look forward to the absence of her friend.

"Keep safe all of you." The antivan said. "I want to receive frequent updates on your wellbeing."

The Commander said his goodbyes to Adaar, the Bull and Varric and lastly turned to Asha.

She wanted to tell him how she would miss him, how much he meant to her. She wanted to confess her fear of not coming back or finding him gone upon her return.

Words failed her, just glancing to the ground as Cullen approached her.

Silently he pulled her into a tight embrace burying his face in her hair.

"I don't want to go." She whispered her hands grabbing at the fur on his pauldrons clinging on as if for dear life.

"I know." The Commander tried to keep his voice steady. He was saddened that their time together was cut so short, but he knew Adaar would bring her back safely. He had to believe.

"Okay, Commander. If you would be so kind as to release my mage from your grasp we could depart." Adaar tried for a light mood, but even she felt the sadness of her friends.

She was lucky to have her lover beside her, not only in battle but as a constant companion on her journeys. However the Commanders duties would confine him to the Keep and she did not want to travel without a mage she trusted at her back.

Cullen let go reluctantly and Asha took the reigns of her horse and mounted.

"For a minute there I was thinking we'd have to stay here till night falls Sparks." The Bull gave her a friendly wink. "Faster we go, faster we come back."

She nodded with resolve and tried to give the former templar a bright and reassuring smile.

When they had ridden out of the courtyard Cullen was still standing there, Josephines hand on his shoulder.

They traveled north and westwards, crossing Fereldens border heading for Orlais. The horses still fresh under them, the autumn day relatively warm and sunny they covered a good amount of ground on the first day. In Orlais a ship was waiting for them to sail them over the narrow part of the Waking Sea.

From Val Royeaux they were headed eastwards again, back on the Imperial Highway.

Adaar would have preferred to cross the Fields of Ghislain and visit Perendale on their way north, but the Imperial Highway was the faster and more secure road and favored the horses more.

On the downside it lead them not only through Nevarra but the Tevinter Imperium as well.

Though it would be nice to see the land where her dear friend Dorian was born and raised Adaar had not much love for most of Tevinters people. It was also safe to assume, that two Qunari would not be a welcome sight too, as the Imperium was at war with the Qunari since forever.

The Inquisitor counted on her name to help traversing the country safely. Even if there was not much love for the Inquisition among Tevinters magisters they had made some treaties and connections in the past.

Josephines efforts at securing friendly terms with nobles all over Thedas would help immensely to assure their arrival in Hossberg.

The Tevinter town of Vol Dorma situated right at the Imperial Highway was a good ways closer to Weisshaupt-Fortress, but Adaar preferred to stay in the capital of the Anderfels.

As they followed the route, Varric complained of wet feet and churning stomach during the ships transit and japed about aching buttocks while riding.

"Give me a nice march through the Hinterlands, Bianca in my arm, shooting assholes in the face every day, but all this riding is making me sick." He mumbled trying to find a more comfortable seat in the saddle.

They stopped frequently to eat, rest and take on provisions. In certain spots they could meet up with spies of Lelianas, transactors of the Inquisition and scouts. There it was possible to send and receive letters, informing them of the situation back home or the progress of their journey.

The first letter they received at the castle of a minor noble that housed them for one night. The man was immensely pleased to have the saviour of Thedas under his roof and spontaneously hosted a small banquet to honor the Inquisitor.

Before going to sleep, Adaar read over the contents of the letter penned in Josephines immaculate hand as usual:

"Inquisitor," it read, "Things at the Keep are going well. We are finally getting some work on the towers done, cleaning away rubble and fixing roofs.

The soldiers are in excellent shape, though I do sometimes think the Commander drives them to hard. But it is not my place to critizise the training, as it seems to be most efficient.

The research Arcanist Dagna conducts on the red lyrium has made good progress too as she assures me. We will possibly gain new ways to use it for us or hopefully a means to contain the taint inside it lest it endanger the people close to it.

The templars that joined us have almost all laid off the lyrium as you suggested and while they seem pained from time to time the Commanders example assures them.

I worry for Commander Cullen though. Since your departure he has thrown himself into his work with less regard for his health than usual. He spends long hours in the chantry too, praying for your safe return I believe.

I tried to ask him to join me for a game of chess as I know of his love for this pastime, but he did not seem to gain much joy from it.

If you could send some word to help reassure our friend he might fare better until your return. It is truly depressing to see him walk around the Keep with that kind of look to his face.

Sincerely Josephine."

The answer arrived at the Skyhold by bird two days later:

"Dear Josie,

try to keep your own sanity at least. We are well but still on our way north.

Magegirl is making a glum face as well. Holding up anyway. I'll bring her back safely-

Enclosed is some thing she made, he will know what it is. Varric says 'Heads up Curly!'.

Adaar"

Rolled into the small piece of parchment Josephine found a necklace with a small pendant which apparently contained some red liquid.

When she gave it to the Commander, reciting the contents of the letter he looked very thoughtful.

"She prepared a phylactery for me." He said astonished.

Her own blood, prevented from congealing by a spell, contained in a small glass vial. Any templar who held this in his hands would be able to find her. And she had entrusted it to him.

Asha had helped the First Enchanter to prepare more than one phylactery in her time at the Circle. When new apprentices were brought in the little vials with blood would be prepared soon. Often it were frightened children taken from their parents and sometimes only narrowly escaping when angry townsfolk wanted to lynch them for the crime of being born a mage.

With the phylactery they were bound to the Circle and the chantry. If they ever should try to flee the confines of their golden cage templars would be given the vial to hunt them down whereever they went.

When an apprentice survived their harrowing and was transferred to the mages quarters their phylactery was sent to one of the hidden places only a few chantry officials knew. In case of Kinloch Holds mages this would most likely be in Denerim.

When a huge part of the town was desolated during the fifth blight many phylacteries went missing or were destroyed. Asha did not know if there was still a vial of her blood somewhere, but who would bother finding it in this new world. Mages were given so much more leeway with the influence of the Inquisition bolstering their claims on freedom.

She would never have thought she would prepare a phylactery of her own to send it to a templar. _Former templar _she corrected herself.

The small vial was emitting a soft glow as she held it in the palm of her hand.

When Adaar sent it away along with the letter the Inquisitor had written, Asha hoped this would give Cullen not only hope but an inkling about the amount of trust she put in him.

"I don't play chess Sparklehands, and I sure don't do any of the other things you and Curly use to do." Varric began, pulling a chair up the the table Asha was sitting at. "But I was told I am an excellent story-teller. So if you need some company..."

The mage gave him an inviting smile and offered some of the baked bread that resided in a basket before her.

"I tried to make an account of our journey." She told the dwarf, holding up a small book filled with close crammed columns of her tiny handwriting.

"I never was so far away from Ferelden. It's exciting." She continued.

"It's mostly a pain in the ass. Literally." Varric groaned. He did not like being on horseback all day long much, even though he had almost gotten used to it by now.

Stops in taverns on the way like this were a blessing to the dwarfs aching bones and quite more comfortable than setting up camp on the roadside.

"Glad to see you smile again. Having you sulk all the way did almost ruin my mood too." He grinned taking a bite of the bread. It was warm and sprinkled with herbs and salt.

"Because your mood was splendid what with the horses swaying and the rocking of the ship when we set over to Val Royeaux." Asha gave him a wink and continued her writing. In between the passages Varric could spot some drawings of animals, castles and a number of different vantage points they had encountered on the road.

"Those are pretty good." He pointed to the illustrations. "Though that crows scratch you call writing deters from the overall impression a bit."

"I like my hand." Asha shrugged. "At least I get ever so much words on each page. It's efficient."

Varric could see the sense in that and if she could read it. The tiny letters almost made his eyes water for sure.

While Varric and Asha were still talking in the common room the Inquisitor and the Iron Bull were enjoying their supper in the chamber they had rented for the night.

"What do you think we will find in Weisshaupt?" The big man wondered.

Anderfels had been the main base of the grey wardens for a long time. The land heavily ravaged by past Blights had always been influenced by the wardens. While in other lands they always tried to keep in the background in Anderfels the wardens held great political influence. The King, considered weak by the people, was residing in the capital Hossberg and did not seem to care much for the ongoings outside of his walls.

"Answers I hope." Adaar answered after a short moment of thinking. "Wardens maybe. There should be thousands of them. The people of Anderfels are the only ones except for the dwarfs constantly battling darkspawn. There have to be grey wardens there."

The Bull nodded approvingly. "Can't imagine every single one of them vanishing just like that. You believe Leliana is with the wardens?"

The Inquisitor closed her eyes. "I very much hope so. She was not with Warden Surana, but maybe she sought out the other one, the former templar-recruit."

"The one they say was the bloody kings bastard?" The Bull grinned. "But why should he have gone there of all the places in Thedas? I don't think the answer would be 'Because of all the fine cheeses.'"

"Unlikely, but why not. I hear they make a mean Brie." Adaar speared a piece of cheese with her fork.

The food was modest but filling and the bed was a big and comfortable one.

Adaar let herself fall into the soft cushions and gave a short squeak when the Bull let his own self fall on top of her.

"You trying to crush me?" She punched him playfully against his chest.

"Maybe. I know you like a bit of roughhousing." He growled into the Inquisitors ear.

"I'll bite."

"Please do."

They were tussling through the bed, immersed in their playfight when the Bull heard a silken sound behind himself. Though having been distracted up until now his survival-instincts set in immediately.

With a quick roll to the side he dodged the blade that was aimed for the base of his neck. Another quick movement of his disarmed the attacker. Crushing the black clad figures throat he pounded the head of the luckless would-be-assassin into the wall. Adaar watched grimly as the enemies skull was reduced to a reddish mush.

"It will be damn hard to get any information out of him now." She commented on the sad remains of what had once been a human male.

"Sorry, but I really don't like being attacked in my bedroom." Her lover stated.

"Ours."

"Technically yours. I'd bet a handsome sum that the little shit was out for your head. Surprised him I guess." The Bull had a point. A search of the intruders pockets did not award them anything.

"No way of finding out who he was or who sent him." Adaar was unhappy with the results.

"But I guess we'll have to be careful now. Where he came from there is possibly others."

"For sure." The Bull did not look saddened about it. "It was just about time anything interesting happened. I was getting bored."

"With me?"

"Perish the thought. **You** never get boring." Without much care the Bull threw the body out of the window. If this guys friends found him first they might get the warning. Then he turned back to Adaar and they continued where they had stopped earlier.

Asha and Varric had resigned to their respective rooms that night and did not encounter any other assassins. If anyone had tried they would have stumbled into a protective glyph or received a quarrel to the eye. Time in Adaars company and out on the road had made the companions suspicious and sleeping without at least a shred of protection or half an eye open was unthinkable.

When they finally neared the city of Hossberg they trekked through a deserted wasteland. The earth was red and the ground was littered with bones. Sandstorms were giving them a hard time.

The Inquisitors mount did fare quite well considering the circumstances, as it was a hardy dracolisk. It's tough skin gave him some protection from wind and sand and it seemed to like the heat.

The horses of the three others were not doing so well. Riding huddled together as close as they could they tried to weather the storm.

"And I thought Tevinter was bad." Varric pulled his hood deeper into his face, trying to protect his eyes from the flying sand.

Not much could be seen, though the earth itself was flat and seemed to stretch out like that for miles. When finally the walls of Hossberg appeared in the distance everyone was relieved at the prospect of getting out of the hellish weather.

At first it seemed as if the soldiers standing guard at the gates would not let them in. But the name of the Inquisitor opened up the town to their group.

The people of the Anderfels were extremely pious and having the famed Herald of Andraste visiting their capital pleased the inhabitants of this dangerous wasteland.

They found another tavern where they stabled their mounts and secured some rooms to rest for the night. As the Inquisitors group sat down in the common room to share dinner and battle plans for the upcoming day a familiar face turned up at their table.

"So you finally arrived Lady Inquisitor. And what light you bring to an admittedly quite dull place, no?" The elf displayed his usual charme, sinking to a chair in one fluid movement.

"Crow." Adaar inclined her head slighly. "What news you got?"

"Alas, nothing about the wardens at Weisshaupt. One would think the place has vanished from the maps all of a sudden. But I think you will be pleased with me nonetheless." Zevran waved his hand with a flourish. Around the corner came a familiar hooded figure. The red haired female they had been hunting for.


	7. Chapter 7

The Inquisitor had wanted to hug Leliana, but the master of spies was not into the mood for open displays of affection. It was hard to still see a shred of the warm and soulful woman she had been during the fifth blight in her. Time and bitter experience had changed the bard.

Nevertheless the woman was not surprised to see her Qunari-friend in the tavern in Hossberg. When Zevran had finally found her, or rather she stumbled upon her old elven friend, she had just known that Adaar was on her tracks too.

Worry for Alistair and for the fate of the whole of Thedas had driven her to Weisshaupt herself. Though she was now worried for Adaar and hers as well, part of her was glad to have the support of the group for her endeavour.

Leliana beckoned Adaar and Zevran into an adjacent room to talk plans with the two of them first.

She knew that the former crow would be in for the ride, but if she could convince Adaar she was not sure.

She need not have worried, because the Inquisitor was happy to help the friend she had been searching for in freezing cold and stifling heat. Just some more dangers to face until they could go home, perfect.

When Leliana and Zevran went outside to talk some more, likely reminiscing about their adventures at the side of Neria Surana, Adaar kept sitting at the small table in silence, pulling out something to read.

As much as she loved the company of the loud and boisterous Bull and the laconic commentary of Varric sometimes it was nice to have a bit of calm. The mage was mostly silent at least, but if she made that sorrowful face it did not much to lift Adaars spirits. She did not begrudge the girl her feelings, but it did not do to be reminded of them all of the time.

"My own damn fault for dragging her along." She mused silently and turned to her reading.

Asha came in with silent footfall and threw a glance over the Inquisitors shoulder.

"We were missing you over there." The mage began. "You are reading?"

"Big surprise, I can do that." Adaar grinned. "I know what they say about warriors, but I'm actually quite literate."

Asha held up her hands in defense. "I was just surprised, about the pastime, not doubting your ability."

Adaar chuckled, she liked to pull the other womans leg. "I know. How are the other two doing?"

"Drinking and gambling with some poor sods they found sitting at the bar. I think they'll likely raise our funds tonight."

"Very good." Adaar turned a page absentmindedly.

Asha could just make out some words of the script the other woman was studying.

"...he plunged his blade of mercy into her .. magical place? Sweet Andraste, what **are** you reading?" She squeaked.

The laughter of the Qunari-woman reached as far as the other room.

"Varric tried something new and asked my opinion. I think I like it." She grinned.

"That's depraved." The mage considered for a moment. "May I read it next?"

"Oh, I think you'd better not."

"Why?"

"Because you might want to kill Varric and he's my favorite dwarf." The Inquisitor hurried to get the script out of the mages reach.

"Oh no, he didn't." Asha had a dark sense of foreboding.

It was just Varrics good fortune that Adaar was fast enough to rescue the first draft of his newest creation "Fire and Faith, the saucy tales of Anna and Corran" from going up in flames.

When the group reunited in the common room, the purse of Varric was considerably heavier, thanks to his skills at diamondback.

"Drinks on me tonight I guess." He said and signaled for a round of ale.

"Varric." The mage sounded irritated with him, which was rather unusual. They got along so splendidly most of the time.

"What is it Sparklehands?" He smiled at her disarming. "Something I can help you with?"

"I don't know. Is it possible, perchance, that you found time to write on our way here?"

He did like where this was going.

"Maybe. You were working on your account too if I remember correctly."

"That's not exactly the same as writing smut about me isn't it?" Asha was tapping her foot impatiently now. The dwarf found it amusing.

"Do you take me for some kind of .. precious fruit ready for the plucking or something?" She threw her arms up in exasperation. But no lightning yet, lucky. Maker knew what wild stories her friend was making up.

"You sure are precious my friend. But I think it's rather Curly who could do with being plucked. That man is tied tauter than a bowstring."

There was still no lightning aimed at him which he took for a good sign. The red tinge on the mages cheeks was making Varric proud of himself.

"Haha, that's just cruel." The Bull threw an arm around Ashas shoulders. "I'm sure it's not for a lack of trying on her part. And right now .. not much she can do." He affectionately ruffled the mages hair.

Asha felt like one of the small dogs she'd seen on the arms of noble women back in Val Royeaux. Their expressions would have fitted hers well as she found herself in the grasp of the giant Qunari.

"I really don't want to discuss this." She disentangled herself.

"Poor thing. You could always join the Bull and me for the night if you need someone to put a smile back on that face." Adaar purred. Seeing the mage excuse herself for some fresh air and walking out with a red face that would have done a tomato proud amused her to no end.

"Hate to see her leave but love to watch her go." The Bull grinned and began to nuzzle Adaars neck.

When they were all reunited at the table, Leliana and Zevran having found their way back too, Adaar relayed the plans for the coming day with them.

They would find a way into Weisshaupt and they would not leave without the warden Leliana knew to be imprisoned in the bowels of the fortress.

The idea was simple enough. Adaar would try to apply for an audience with the First Warden. As leader of the Inquisition she hoped her name would hold enough weight to open that door for her and her small retinue.

Meanwhile Zevran would try to sneak his way in undetected while they offered some distraction.

They found the Fortress heavily guarded. Convincing the guards to let them through was hard, but Adaar gave her best impression of "Herald of Andraste and Saviour of the World, sent by the Maker" and somehow they were let through.

A tired looking warden with pronounced bags under his eyes greeted them in a vestibule. The man seemed mightily annoyed by the distraction.

"The First Warden does not see any visitors." Were the first words he had for them. "We know who you are and it's an honour, surely. But current events do not allow for an audience."

"Current events?" Adaar was curious. What would be so important that the wardens did not speak to anyone outside the order?

"Warden issues." The man instantly tried to deflect her question. "But be assured that it is none of your concern. The .. situation is well under control."

"I smell bullshit." Varric whispered at the back of their group, so that only Asha and the Iron Bull could hear.

"Don't look at me." The Bull grinned. "But I guess you're right."

"But you are unable to tell me what the sittuation is." Adaar guessed.

"Regrettably, yes." The man tried to direct them to an adjourning office. "Now that you are already here I have some questions about that Corypheus and what he did to our wardens in the south. But when it's done I have to ask you to leave."

Adaar took a seat in the office, accompanied by the Bull while the others stayed behind in the anteroom. Guards were filing in and out in irregular patterns and Leliana took a convenient moment to slip away.

Asha and Varric sat on a bank, talking in hushed tones.

"They don't answer letters, they don't like visitors, but answers, that they want." Varric was not happy with the wardens lack of hospitality.

"Right, they could at least have served some tea while we're waiting." Asha smiled at him. "My throat is parched."

"Let's just hope our friends are not found out. These guys seem itchy enough as it is. Finding spies in their home could make them even worse hosts." The dwarf kept an eye out for Lelianas return. In the worst case they would probably hear of it if anything went wrong.

A short while later Adaar and the Bull came back from the wardens office. The Inquisitor did not look very pleased.

"It seems like Blackwall has to stay with us for a while longer. Apparently the wardens don't do joinings at the moment."

"I believe the exact words were: 'Let him hang or keep him, we don't care.'" The Bull reminded his lover, her face ever darkening.

"Where is the other woman?" Came the annoyed voice of the warden from the background. It seemed to have taken on a slightly panicky tone all of a sudden.

"I believe she was searching for a toilet, maybe some tea." Varric shrugged his shoulders trying to sound nonchalant.

"That's not how this goes. This is not acceptable." The mans voice rose louder and higher.

Varric tried to placate him: "I'm sure she'll be right back. Maybe has found a nice guard to flirt with."

The word seemed to awaken something in the warden. "Right .. Guards. GUARDS!" He was shouting now.

Seconds later all doorways were blocked by heavily armoured wardens pointing naked swords at them.

"You!" The warden they had talked to until now pointed an accusing finger on Adaar. "You came here to spy on us. Uncover warden secrets. It does not matter who you are. We can not let you go."

"Is anyone surprised? Because I am not." Varric rolled his eyes and slowly raised Bianca to his cheek.

Asha took the hint and raised her staff while Adaar and the Bull went into a defensive stance in front of them.

Adaar looked her opponent into his eyes and sneered. "We came here as guests and we will leave. I'd prefer to do this without a fight."

The man, while unarmoured and unarmed was a warden after all and did not budge under the Qunaris steel gaze.

"Seize them! They will answer to this in the dungeons." With this order he turned and walked away.

Seconds later all hell broke lose.

Wardens were held in high esteem all over Thedas. Their fighting prowess and endurance were fabled and in Anderfels they were in constant vigil with a darkspawn threat that never seemed to end.

It was a hard fight in narrow confines the Inquisitors group faced. On top of it the companions tried to harm not kill, but staying was no option. None of them wanted to see what the wardens prison was like.

Adaar and the Bull were on either side of Varric and Asha as they tried to shield them from the assault with their own bodies. Slowly they worked their way back to the courtyard, while their attackers seemed to rush in on them without an end.

Finally Adaar saw an opening and shouted: "Run!"

The group set off, the Bull seizing Ashas arm and pulling her along. She tried to throw some last chain-lightning into an approaching group of wardens, when she stumbled and fell.

More guards rushed in and the Bull had to let go to defend himself with his axe again. Asha saw the distance between her and the others grow greater, when a dull pain registered at the back of her skull. She heard Adaar shout something and then the world went black.

Darkness. Dripping. The smell of moss and stone. Ashas eyes felt swollen and her tongue was pasted to the roof of her mouth. She tried to blink. Pain.

"Hnnng." So thirsty. They still served no tea obviously.

"You are awake. Splendid." The voice seemed familiar. "I guess you are thirsty, no?"

A waterskin touched her cracked lips and cool liquid filled her mouth. Forget tea, this tasted like the tears of the Maker.

"Thank you." She rasped. She tried again to open her eyes to the gloom around her and saw the handsome elf they had first encountered in the Keep.

"Are we imprisoned here?" Asha asked him guardedly.

"You are my dear. I am merely visiting." The guys smile was stunning yet disconcerting. "Do not worry. Our dear bard is currently securing an exit to rectify that situation."

Asha felt the shackles around her wrists open, as Zevran worked the locks with apparent ease.

"The Inquisitor?"

"Got away, along with the others." The elf examined her wrists and seemed content. "You do not look too worse for wear. You were out for a day, but they did not even torture you. Lucky, no?"

The mage did not feel so lucky, but guessed it could have been far worse.

When Leliana put her head around the corner she was almost feeling like herself again. The spot on the back of her head where someone had apparently hit her with the pommel of a sword was still hurting and Asha wished for a health-potion or some elfroot.

"We have to hurry." Leliana whispered. "The guards will be back any minute now and they will miss their other prisoner too."

Without further discussion they followed the red headed bard down dark tunnels of cobbled stone. Wetness made the walls glisten in the gloom and a faint smell of decay seemed to waft from cracks in the stone.

"This is the deeper dungeons." The elf explained. "Do not touch the walls, there's something in the water."

They hurried along and Asha started to feel kind of short-winded. She refrained from leaning against the walls as of Zevrans advice and took deep breaths, careful not to step on the hem of her robes.

As they seemed to move deeper and deeper Asha thought she could hear a faint humming, but tried to push it from her mind.

They finally arrived at some huge doors that seemed to have been closed prior to their arrival. However now a small gap opened between them, heavy bars laying at the side.

"There you are. I was worried. Come on." A voice from the other side was calling out to them.

It was even darker on the other side.

They stepped through the gap and pulled the door closed behind them. The gates were made of dwarven steel and heavy, but they eventually closed the path off behind themselves.

"I'm sorry I did not introduce myself." The voice from out of the darkness apologized in Ashas direction. "I'm Alistair, a grey warden and lover of fine cheeses."

"Jester of renown, former prisoner you forgot, no?"

"Right, that too."

Asha summoned a magelight at the tip of her staff and could now make out the mans smile right next to her.

"I am Asha, mage, formerly of Kinloch Hold. Renowned for treacherous feet and awkward conversation. Nice to meet you." She answered.

That Alistair seemed like a nice guy, though his appearance was ragged and torn. He looked like he had been tortured and malnourished for quite some time.

Regardless, one could see the muscles years of training with sword and armour had awarded him. His stance was that of a warrior, no, a templar. It was something about the way he held his shield that betrayed him.

"Now that we all introduced ourselves I propose we keep on moving, no? We are still not safe." Zevran reminded them, moving forward. Leliana who in the meantime had lighted a torch continued leading them. They went deeper and still deeper down.

"I lost her." Adaar sat by the fire looking at her palms.

She could not seem to believe what had happened before.

After their escape from Weisshaupt they had not dared to go back to Hossberg. The wardens influence would surely have made the inn less hospitable than they had found it before.

Instead they were camping some distance away from the fortress which lay in darkness since the search for them had stopped.

"I'm sure we'll find Leliana again. She is a big girl, she can watch herself." Varric tried to comfort the Inquisitor.

"Yes, Leliana. But you don't understand. Sparks .. I promised." Wild purple eyes searched his face for answers he could not give.

"She's probably alive. Maybe Leliana .."

"Maybe." Maybe was just not enough for Adaar. They had assisted Leliana on her quest to get inside the fortress. Whatever her plan was, she would surely succeed. But the mage was not as tough, not as resourceful. The Qunari-woman clenched her fists.

There was no way back now that the wardens were alarmed.

But how could she return home without Asha. How dare she look into her Commanders eyes and tell him she had failed her promise to him.

The Bull who had been bandaging some deep cuts the wardens had caused him came up to her side.

"It's not like you to give up." He reminded her sternly. "Of course the mage is alright. Just got a little wallop on the head. No big deal."

Adaar smiled weakly. "Just a fortress full of angry wardens around her, piece of cake." She answered.

"See, that's the spirit." The big man hugged her close. It was true, they had no idea where exacly their friend was right now. But they had bested a thousand year old monster, a would-be-god. What was keeping a simple promise in comparison.

The Inquisitors group doubled back to Vol Dorma. Behind the borders of the Tevinter Imperium they felt safer and could contact their advisors back home.

Adaar dreaded the letter she was about to write. Their contact with the wardens had been a desaster, Josephine would probably have her head for causing such political uproar. They had fought and probably wounded a number of grey wardens during their escape. Trying to fix this with diplomacy was akin to putting salve on a severed leg.

That metaphorical stump was still bleeding heavily, the wardens would not be content with a simple sorry and they would not be likely to give up their prisoner.

On top of it there still seemed to be something brewing among the wardens. The order had always had secrets, but there seemed to be something big on the horizon, something they did not want to get out.

No letters answered, no audiences, no new wardens. Taking on new recruits would probably mean having elements among their ranks that were not yet fully trusted. Weak spots. Maybe someone who would bolt and tell the wrong things to the wrong person. Someone like her.

Adaar clenched her fist around the quill she was holding.

And there was Cullen. She actually liked the man. The things he had seen, the ordeals he had endured. All these years alone with his ghosts. And just as he finds someone who seems to be good for him she has to come and snatch her away. It was not fair.

Should she send for an army? They had fought wardens at Adamant, but this was not the same. An attack of that scale could not be warranted by what they knew. Which was practically nothing.

And even if it was warranted, it was not possible. Waging war on Weisshaupt would mean war with Anderfels. What help could they call in concerning such an imprudent endeavour? Orlais, their strongest ally, would not stand for it. No, these thoughts were fruitless.

All she could hope for was the help of Leliana and Zevran. Adaar did not trust the elf, but Leliana was a friend. Though the bard often tried to seem untouched by the plight of those around her, Adaar thought she saw through that act. Her old friend would not leave the mage to rot in a warden prison.

With a heavy heart she started to relay the events of the past days home.

Four shapes were stumbling through the darkness. Four faces set in grim determination. Four people breathing stale air, huffing with exertion.

Leliana and Zevran were still doing quite well, though they had walked for miles through ancient tunnels now. Alistair was not in too good of a shape after his long imprisonment and Asha too was on the verge of collapsing.

"This is the bloody deep roads again. Isn't it?" She breathed raggedly.

"If this occured to you just now I'd say you are not pretty fast on the uptake my dear." The elf answered and one could just hear the smile on his voice.

"Knew it the moment we passed the door actually. Dwarven made. Kind of a hint." Walking and speaking was hard on her, but enduring the silence was harder.

"The Anders-wardens have their own entrance to the deep roads down in the fortress." Alistair started explaining. "Always a ready supply of darkspawn. Handy." He gave a bitter laugh.

"We are lucky we did not see any until now. Whenever I felt them we changed paths. But we will not be able to evade them forever."

"And what about the red lyrium?" Asha had recognized the shine on the walls and the humming in her head. And that had not started here. Even back in the deeper dungeons of the fortress she could feel it behind the walls, pressing in on her mind.

"You feel it to?" Alistair seemed surprised. "I guess it's something to do with being a mage. With me it seems to speak through the taint."

This was bad. The Weisshaupt-wardens had a cellar full of red lyrium and access to much more of it via their deep road entrance. Only the Maker knew what they were doing with the stuff. But whatever it was, Asha doubted it would be something good.

They eventually reached one of the larger roads the dwarfs of old had built into the stone. Following it they found a small outpost where weary travelers might have found a bed for the night, food and drink hundreds of years ago. Now the place was deserted and corrupted just like the rest of the forgotten dwarven empire.

"We'll stop here and rest." Leliana decided with a look at her companions. She did not doubt that Zevran would be able to go on for some miles yet, but Alistair and the mage where looking dead on their feet.

"Prudent decision as usual my beautiful bard." Zevran sidled up to her. "I guess I'll take first watch and the chance to watch your divine face in sleep my dear."

His flattery seemed more out of habit than sincere, but it lightened the mood somehow.

Asha let her magelight slowly die as she started a small campfire with some wooden remains that once held the roof of the outposts inn. Sheltered by a couple of walls and with some stale bread filling their bellies they regained some of their strength.

One of them always held watch. Asha slept fitfully, the fade around her being a dark place full of dark memories. Alistair was plagued by unpleasant dreams too. Being a grey warden came with many drawbacks, one of them was the nightmares. It was worse during the blight, but just barely so. At least no Archdemon breathed down his neck this time.

The fire burned down and after everyone had rested for a while their escape through the deep roads continued. Neither one of them had a map and they had no idea where they were headed.

It was a desperate getaway and while there was no sign of wardens following them they could not afford to linger in one place for too long.

The rogues had secured a fair amount of food and water to bring with them before they fled the fortress, but they had no way of knowing how long it would have to keep.

They had some encounters with giant spiders, deepstalkers and finally some scattered groups of darkspawn. All those were taken care of quickly. Leliana was as deadly with a bow as she was beautiful Asha had to admit.

The grey warden fought with amazing valour. They had not gotten him an armour, but he protected himself well with his shield. His sword was striking out efficiently and his movements were those of a seasoned warrior.

The speed of Zevran as he assaulted their enemies with a poison dripping dagger in each hand was staggering. He seemed to vanish at times just to reappear in a foes blind spot killing with a grace that would not have been out of place in a ballroom.

Asha felt clumsy and slow compared to these companions who were clearly used to working together like a well oiled machine.

"Just like old times." Alistair grinned as his sword took of the head of a hurlock in one fell swoop.

"Almost like old times my dear friend." Zevran slid over to the warden and they fought back to back. "Got the wrong mage with us. No offense meant." The last part was called over apologetic to Asha.

"None taken." She paralized one genlock and zapped another with deadly electricity.

When they continued, leaving their fallen foes behind Alistair felt the need to apologize again for Zevrans words.

"I have met Neria, you know?" Asha smiled at him. "And she was fine when we left, waiting for you I believe."

The mans face lit up like she'd never seen it before. "I .. that means much to me. Thank you." The love he must have felt for the elven mage was almost palpable.

"I know that she's a better mage than I will ever be." The womans voice was tinged with sadness. "I try to do as well as I can, but matching her power? That's unthinkable."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." Leliana was at her side now.

"But it is true. She is amazing." The admiration Asha felt for the other mage was true. It was not that she envied the woman, she was just striving to be as useful as she could get even if her abilities paled in comparison.

"She's gone?" Cullen felt his world falling apart.

"No, no .. not gone." Josephine tried to calm down the man whose eyes seemed to stare into oblivion. "She's merely fallen into captivity and probably been saved already."

The Commander tried to shake the fear from his mind. "You are right. The situation could be taken care of already, the raven flies ever so slow."

"Nevertheless Adaars account on the events at Weisshaupt does not read well. The wardens may become a problem again." Josephine was worried, not only for the mage she liked well enough, but for the fate of all of them.

The grey wardens were what stood between Thedas and the darkspawn. Tireless fighters who gave up everything to face a threat that plagued the lands for a thousand years. And in the events of a Blight they were the only ones who could hope to kill an archdemon.

The Inquisition could not in earnest turn against their headquarters. But they had attacked the Inquisitor, had taken one of her companions captive and kept dark secrets that may affect all of Thedas. This was a desaster.

Josephine glanced back at Cullen. He still seemed lost in thoughts, as if he was struggling with a decision.

"What is it?" She finally asked in her warm antivan accent. Her eyes sought his as he was staring at the map.

"I want to go." His voice was muted but steady. He repeated: "I want to go. I do not want to lose her like this. Maybe if I plead for her freedom myself..." He shook his head. No, that would not do. If the Inquisitors word could do nothing, how was his any better. There was nothing he could offer.

"Adaar said she was staying in Vol Dorma for the time being. I contacted some of the Tevinter nobles we have good connections to. Dorian too."

The Commander nodded, it was the sensible thing to do.

Josephine continued: "We have spies and scouts in the area looking for Leliana, that Zevran and Asha as well. It is possible they broke free together."

"That's reassuring. I am sure they will do everything they can." Cullen sighed. "I will return to my duties. Let me know if .."

"I had them saddle your horse Commander." Josephine interrupted him.

In that moment the former templar could have hugged the dark skinned woman. She had decided what he could not. Duty weighed heavily on him, as did his heart.

"Provisions are packed, you can ride as soon as you are ready."

Words failed him, but they were not needed. Josephine had prepared for his departure as soon as she received the Inquisitors letter. She stepped up to the man and hugged him goodbye.

"Send my regards to the Inquisitor. Tell her to come back soon. And scold her for causing so much trouble, will you?"

When evening fell Cullen was already as far as Val Royeaux.


	8. Chapter 8

He had driven the horse hard and himself even harder. The Commander stopped only for short amounts of time and though he did not like to part with his trusted mount he had to change horses on the way.

It may have been foolish, but he did not like to take breaks to sleep, less eat as time was of the essence. The Inquisitor had not explicitly requested his presence but her letter heavily implied he would be welcome. Maybe it was that she felt bad for losing track of the mage she promised to keep safe.

Cullen did not begrudge her that. Many a soldier under his command had gotten wounded or lost their life in the fights against Corypheus' forces. And just as any of their losses pained him there was not much to be done about it. If there was fighting, there was the chance to lose.

The Commander felt he knew Adaar as good as himself in that prospect. If there had been anything she could have done she would have done it. He had never seen a leader look out for her charges as diligently as her.

When he arrived in Vol Dorma the flanks of his horse were white with sweat. He entrusted the animal to a stablehand at the inn where he knew the Inquisitor to stay.

Adaars eyes when she saw him walk into the common room spoke volumes of how bad he must look. Weary from the ride, covered with dust from the road he sported deep dark circles around his eyes.

"Cullen." The Inquisitor stood and her expression was one of concern. She rarely called him by his name, often preferring the title, another sign that he must pose a worrying sight. "You look like you didn't sleep for days."

"Damn Curly, I know you hardly ever sleep, but if I didn't know better I'd take you for a ghost." Varric exclaimed and quickly signaled a waiter for food and water.

After the man had eaten and quenched his thirst only a leaden tiredness remained. The Inquisitor told him again, this time in detail, about the events she had already depicted in her letter to Josephine.

And she had some good news too. The wardens, that had been silent for so long had tried to send a bird somewhere. Naturally the poor thing did not get far as it had an unexpected run in with the arrow of an Inquisition-scout. Apparently there had been a minor uproar, a breach of security and a lost prisoner or two. Adaar supposed she knew who she would have to thank for that.

For the time being she secured a room for the restless templar and ordered him to get some sleep. While she now had hope that Asha was free and in good company they still had no way of knowing where she and the others were. Another thing were the informations about what the grey wardens were hiding the Inquisitor hoped to get from Leliana. She had the bad feeling those would affect all of Thedas.

The next morning the Inquisitor was up early and reading missives from her scouts. She had already eaten a hearty breakfast and was waiting for her companions to rise.

Surprisingly the Commander seemed the first one to decide he had enough sleep for the night and came down the stairs to join her. Cullen sat down at Adaars table and looked very much like he wanted to ask something but was afraid to do so.

"What is it Commander?" The Qunari smiled at him invitingly. "You look like there's a question burning on your tongue. Spit it out before it starts to hurt."

The former templar took a moment to collect himself.

"Inquisitor. I was just curious. It may be a stupid question but.. sometimes I think about fate and if there is something like it."

Adaar raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"I recently wondered how you and the Bull found out you were .. meant to be."

The horned woman laughed. "Asking me about matters of love? But it is nice to hear the question, as it suggests it was not understood we would end up together just because we're both Qunari. That there is more to it."

"I am sure you had plenty of prospects." The Commander cleared his throat. "I sure have seen you appreciate the .. assets of other males aside from the Bull."

"And females." Adaar winked. "Don't forget the females. It's true, it's not the horns, grey skin or big frame." She seemed to think for a while. "I guess we both just like killing things. Wading through seas of blood side by side just seems to bring people together."

Cullen chuckled. Naturally the Inquisitor would not provide a straight answer but that was just her way. And similar objectives and interests, gruesome as they may be seemed like good enough a reason to get closer.

"The question must come from somewhere." Adaar looked at him inquiringly. "Do you doubt her feelings? Or your own?"

The Commander considered, then shook his head. "I know what I am feeling. It's just .. I was a templar too, what they have done to her ... by all rights she should despise me. Yet she does not."

"Maybe it is because she sees the man, not the horns so to speak?" Adaar had a point.

"That, yes. You are right. She even gave me this." He pulled at the necklace around his head, getting out the little vial of blood, warm from contact with his skin.

"Makers breath, I am an idiot." He had totally forgotten. How could he forget.

"We do not need to wait for word from the spies." The realization struck him. "We will find them. We will find her."

A short explanation on phylacteries later Adaar could not believe how someone could just forget he owned something that handy. A device to detect a mage. And naturally all that accompanied them.

"It glows." The Bull pointed out, inspecting the small pendant in Cullens hand. "Is it supposed to do that?"

"That means she is still alive." The Commander explained, hoping he would never see the contents of the vial blacken and congeal. "She is not near, but if I concentrate I can feel the pull of her presence. That should lead us to her location."

The mage and her fellow escapees where lost. Hopelessly and utterly lost. Alistair suspected they had been walking around in circles for the last few hours at least. Neither Leliana nor Zevran knew any better but a shortage of alternatives made them continue on their tracks.

Rough hewn rock gave way to walls covered thickly in lichen, then cobbled dwarven roads again and rock, rock, rock. At least there did not seem to be any red lyrium down there anymore. The bulk of the stuff was to be found directly under the wardens fortress. One more hint, that it was indeed the grey wardens having to do something with it being there.

"Makers breath, if this continues we're going to die down here." Alistair exclaimed wearily. The mans shoulders had slumped and he seemed smaller than when they had started to make their escape. Asha cast a quick rejuvination-spell on him, mindful of her own resources.

The grey warden had fought so hard against the creatures that had ambushed them so far. He was always careful to keep his companions safe. The mage was sure he feared they would grow sick with the taint if he could not keep the darkspawn away from them to the best of his abilities.

In that, the warden reminded her a bit of Adaar.

The magic did not faze him, Neria had surely done the same hundreds of times.

"Thank you." He smiled at her. It was a handsome smile in a handsome face. Sure it was lined and a bit haggard from the imprisonment, but Asha had to admit he was not hard to look at.

"Why did they have you in their cells?" She asked, thinking that now was as good a moment to inquire as ever.

Alistair scratched at the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh that. Maybe it was because of the one time I got in the larder and ate all the cheese. Very particular about their cheese these Anders."

Asha raised a brow. Answers like that made her want to zap the guy.

"So you evade uncomfortable questions by humour? Nice trick. Truth please?"

The soft laughter of Leliana could be heard from behind them as clear as a bell. It was a beautiful sound, almost angelic in a drab place like this.

Alistair sighed. "It was because of something that happened at the end of the fifth blight. I'm sure you've heard of it." Very surprisingly she had. What with being there and all.

"So, normally the warden who slays the archdemon dies because of .. warden .. uhm .. stuff..."

Asha nodded. That was not very specific in the details, but a good enough start.

"As you know Neria and I, we both lived."

"So it was some other warden he killed the beast?" The mage suspected, but was corrected by the man.

"No, it was Neria who did the final blow. By all rights she should have been dead. But .."

"But?"

"Well, I don't know. That's what I told them at Weisshaupt and naturally they did not believe me. So this is what that got me." Alistair shook his head sadly.

Though Asha suspected that the warden was not entirely true about his ignorance pertaining to the circumstances of their miraculous survival she decided not to implore. The man had been detained in a dungeon for weeks, maybe months, starved and probably tortured and had not given up the information. It was just likely that he would not tell more upon being asked nicely.

"It seems logical, that the wardens want to know how to kill an archdemon without sacrificing one of their own." Leliana mused.

"And here I thought sacrifice was part of the motto, no?" The elf chuckled. "I can't begrudge them that though. I too have difficulties with the whole 'dying for the cause'-part."

"Whats why you left the crows and live to tell the tale." Alistair threw a fond look back at the elf that betrayed his affection for the man. They obviously had weathered some dire circumstances together. Whatever feelings he might have had for the elf when Neria had let him join their group during the Blight, Asha could recognize them as devoted friends now.

When the food and water they had brought with them ran low they were lucky enough to stumble across the occasional nug. Even deepstalker proved edible if you cut away the most sinewy parts. They shied away from trying giant spider even though Zevran suspected it might just taste like lobster. A little underground-well provided them a refill of their waterskins. They even stayed in the proximity for several hours filling their bellies with the precious drink.

The break did not last long, as Alistair soon felt darkspawn near again. None of them wanted to confront the creatures if it could be helped, so they hurried to flee down another tunnel.

Asha wondered if that was what they would do for the short rest of their lives. Creeping through narrow passages in the stone, climbing up a bit just to wander even deeper into the unknown at the next turn. How long could one go just on nugmeat and water? Did you not need fresh fruit and vegetables once in a while? And without the sun, would they get as pale and blind as the deepstalkers that roamed these caves?

No, they would probably die first, running into a horde of darkspawn they could not escape or falling down some ledge out of exhaustion and poor judgement.

The torches had burned down long ago and only the faint white light at the tip of her staff illuminated the dark grey world around them.

Had it been days or weeks? Or have they been here forever, the memories of a world of sun and grass and snow just a passing dream? The mages eyelids grew heavy. She wanted to dream again.

Walking on she dreamed of humming. Was that drums? The stonewalls widened around her and opened to a cave filled with golden light. Fireflies as big as fists. And the song .. the song.

When the mage woke she found herself stretched out upon a bedroll, a wet cloth on her brow.

"Back among the living I see." The soft voice of Leliana seemed to resonate in the small cave they were in. The bedroll was suspiciously small, her feet reaching over the edge.

"Fortune favours fools." Someone grumbled and a bearded face appeared behind Lelianas shoulder.

It was that of a dwarf, almost completely hidden under a big cowl. The beard was grey and wiry and two beady eyes seemed to flash out from the darkness under the dwarfs hood.

"These gentlemen call themselves Rock-Knockers." Zevran came up to explain. "More or less the same concept as the Legion of the Dead from Orzammar. Not as committed to death I believe, no?"

The dwarf only growled and went back to another corner of the cave, where his brethren were sitting around a fire.

"They do not talk much. Dwarfs from Kal-Sharok are .. different from those you likely met at Orzammar." Leliana did not sound as if she was too happy about this meeting. "But they seem to respect the grey wardens too. So maybe they will help us."

"It seems to me they already did." Asha rubbed her head. "I feel .. better. Did these dwarfs sing?"

Leliana nodded mutely, but did not speak of it. The song of the dwarfs when they arrived at their camp had been droning and deep, frighteningly so. It was truly a song of the dead and she could do without hearing it ever again.

The dwarfs did speak to Alistair and Alistair alone. The others in his company were regarded as outsiders and only being a grey warden helped him to gain some respect from these people who lived their lives in seclusion and darkness.

As were the Legions members of Orzammar, the Rock-Knockers of Kal-Sharok were regarded as casteless and spent the rest of their lives away from the city, fighting the darkspawn in the deep roads. The wardens who dedicated their lives to fighting the same foe were thus regarded as kindred spirits of a kind. Even if most of them were slightly too big to count as a proper dwarf.

When Alistair came back to his friends from the dwarfs campfire he did not look happy.

"Soo, that was fun. They propably thought I was bad of hearing, but I swear by the Maker they all sound like they are chewing rocks while speaking. The good news is, we can stay with them. Together the chance of survival is .. not good but better." He took a deep breath. "The bad news is: they are not going back to Kal-Sharok soon and will not direct us to any exit of the deep roads .. if there even is one."

"So some more deep-road sightseeing? Splendid." Zevran quipped, but did not manage to sound all too happy with it.

"Yep. But I'm sure it will get much more exciting now. With tour guides like this we'll likely see all the good stuff. Hope you've all brought paper and quill so we can look at the pictures later at home." The grey warden tried his broadest smile but he was just not really feeling the humour he tried to convey. However they finally managed to get some rest in relative safety and could look forward to another day that hopefully brought them closer to the surface.

Leliana sat at the corner of the makeshift camp and stared into darkness when Asha stepped over to her.

"The nightingale was caught. It never sang, behind the cruel bars. They threatened, poked and baited but .. she silently remained." Asha started to recite an old poem she had loved back in the Circle.

"And down in darkness, chained and bound, the deepest cellar be her home. And all alone, no fear of echo in her heart, she finally sang .. not. And died alone .. a nightingale." Leliana finished in that sad melodic voice that was her own.

"You know it?" Asha was surprised.

"They call me sister nightingale, do they not?" The former bard smiled at her sadly and the mage nodded.

"Have you felt like this back in the tower?" Leliana inquired and it hit quite close to home.

"Sometimes I guess. Even a golden cage remains just that, a cage." The other woman smiled despite the memories. "And now I'm free but in darkness. Curious. But despite everything I would not mind the singing."

The corners of Lelianas lips tugged upwards too. "We won't die here. Even in the darkness the Makers light guides us, I'm sure of it."

They sat in silence until Alistair signaled them they were invited to dine with the dwarfs. The food was mostly bread and a hearty stew with unidentifyable contents.

"Just the way I like it." Alistair smiled while helping himself to second serving.

"Well." Asha was not too sure about it. "It sure is filling."

"And strong and mushy and cooked until it's grey. That's the proper fereldan way." The warden sure had a strange sense of culinary standards, but at least one of them seemed happy with the food.

There was not much else to feel happy about as shortly after they broke up camp and continued their way through the caverns and tunnels of the deep roads. The dwarfs led the way, seemingly sure about the path they took and an unknown destination before their eyes.

The three humans and the elf tried to keep pace with the group, though they suspected it would lead them towards battle.

* * *

><p><em>As some may have realized I borrowed a poem by Joachim Ringelnatz for one of the conversations in this chapter and tried to transmit it to the english language. The original called "Großer Vogel" is one of my favorites from this particular poet and just like Rilkes panther a sad and powerful text. I hope some of it's awesomeness manages to translate into this little script of mine. Maybe it even makes some of you want to check out the german poem.<em>


	9. Chapter 9

As Adaar and her companions left Vol Dorma through the southern entrance a woman came running up to them. She was a tiny elf with delicate features and sandy hair. Her big green eyes were darting around panicked and tears had streaked her cheeks.

"Sers. Oh please. I need help." She reached a slim hand out for Cullen who stood closest to her.

"Calm woman. What is it?" The Bull inserted himself in front of her, the intimidating presence causing the elf to take a step backwards.

"My family, we were attacked." The woman sobbed and glanced fearfully at the companions faces likely seeking compassion in their eyes.

"Boss?" The Bull looked back at Adaar. The choice was hers as always. Though he was suspicious by nature the big man was quite sure his Inquisitor would not just leave the elven woman or her family to their fate.

And just as he had thought, his lovers decision stood: "We will help."

The Commander gave the elven woman a reassuring nod. "Where is you family?" He asked. "What happened?"

The elf, dabbing at her tearstreaked face with a sleeve pointed down the road. "We live in a hut at the edge of the forest. They came from nowhere. Darkspawn!"

As they hurried down the road, following the strangers lead the Bull silently shook his head at Adaar. Darkspawn was always bad news. If the woman left the members of her family to that, there was likely not much to be done. Except if they had barricaded themselves in. They would have to see. But there was something else nagging at his mind.

The Inquisitor signaled to Varric to fall keep at the back, covering them from a vantage point farther away. Varric, always quick at thinking opted for the second best hiding spot near the trees, keeping the best one in his sights too.

The hut lay silent and there was no sign of darkspawn. The elven woman tried to hide behind Cullens back as if she feared something might jump out at her any minute.

Adaar kicked open the door to the hut and found it empty. Turning back to her group she saw the Bull move with a speed one would not have thought him capable.

The elf surely did not, as he grabbed her hand before she could slide a blade between the plates of the Commanders armour. The Qunari held her up by her wrist, crushing it in his big hand. The woman squealed with pain as her dagger fell to the ground.

"How?" She ground out, eyes darting around as if searching for something.

"They did not call me Hissrad without reason. One liar recognizes the other." He threw the assassin to the ground, grabbing for his axe.

Adaar and Cullen had readied their weapons too and were prepared for the elfs companions that now slid from the shadows to attack them. As said elf made an attempt to get up, having another dagger in her unimpaired hand a crossbow-quarrel sprouted feathers from her back.

"Got her." Varric called down from his elevated spot near the trees. "Have two others back here, already taken care of. Watch out!"

There were five more attackers, all agile and strong in oiled leathers and equipped with weapons of fine quality. These were not cheap bandits, but their skill was matched easily by the Inquisitors group.

Adaar suffered a cut on her swordarm while she blocked one other mans dagger. The one who hurt her then was split down to the waist by one savage cut from the Iron Bulls axe.

When the fight was over, none of the attackers was alive for questioning.

"Well, that's just unfortunate. Should have kept one alive." Varric sighed while pushing at one of the corpses with his foot. "Maybe this one? Nope, dead as a doornail."

"Don't need to question them." The Bull ground his teeth. "Those clearly are crows. Doesn't matter anyway." He grinned at Adaar. "At least whoever it is who wants us dead is no cheap bastard. Those are expensive."

They looted the bodies while Cullen looked on with an expression of faint distaste. Taking weapons and valuables from a fallen foe seemed wrong, yet what was the point of leaving them here with the dead.

No further attempts were made at their lives for the rest of the day, nor at the following. The Commanders concentration never waned as he followed the faint pull in his mind that led his steps towards the mages presence.

The nights they spent in their tents or keeping watch beside the fire. The horses they had left back in Vol Dorma. Their way led them away from the streets and ever deeper into the woods, where the animals were not of much use. Scouts would bring the mounts back as far as Val Royeaux and back up the road later if needed.

It was a prudent decision, but Cullen cursed their slow progress anyway. At time the pendant almost vibrated with power in his palm, as if some kind of magic was inherent in the thing itself. And maybe there was. He had never used a phylactery this way. Seen them, handled them briefly when they were transferred, but he had never been a mage-hunter himself.

He was glad about this. Apart from the time when blind hatred had clouded his mind he did not want to hurt others he perceived as innocent. Determining if an apostate was out to kill or just fleeing with a thirst for freedom that was denied to them, then maybe having to strike them down if they resisted, that was nothing he ever craved.

Yet now he was here, hunting down a mage. But, not to capture, not to kill, he reminded himself. That would never be him. It was important.

Cullen felt the pull of Ashas essence get stronger every day. They had left the forest behind and rocky hills, overgrown with low yellow grass sloped up into a mountain range.

It was here, at the foot of the mountains that the former templar could not feel them get any nearer. Wherever he turned it seemed wrong, as if she was right there. But everywhere around them only grass and stone and emptiness were stretching out.

He looked crestfallen. "I just don't know. It should be here, somewhere. Inquisitor?" The man looked at Adaar, searching for guidance. The Qunari-woman shrugged her shoulders.

"It's you who does that phylactery-seeking-thing. I cannot tell you where .." She fell silent.

"Boss?" The Bull nudged her. "You have an idea, do you?"

Adaar nodded mutely, then turning to the Commander she proposed: "What if she is here. Exactly at this place?"

"But she cannot be."

"Oh yes, she can Curly." Varric pointed Bianca to the ground.

"Maker no." Cullen fell to his knees. Imagining the mage down in the deep roads, in the dark, it was unthinkable. But no, he chastised himself. Asha was stronger than she seemed and probably not alone. She weathered those deep roads once and would again.

Adaar grabbed at his shoulder, holding out a hand to help him stand again. "Nothing to be done about it now. Except finding a way down ourselves."

"Kal-Sharok is in these mountains, there has to be an entrance further up west." Varric knew the map by heart.

With new resolve they went up the steep hills, looking for the reclusive clan that inhabited Kal-Sharok, one of the last great cities of the dwarfs.

The Bull walked right aside Adaar, threading her arm through his.

"He is quite passionate about her, don't you think?" He indicated with a nod of his head in the Commanders general direction. "Did not think he had it in him."

Adaar shrugged. "Maybe. I know **I** like to have something beside duty to keep me going. But I want my spymaster back, damnit, and my mage." The Inquisitor pouted exaggeratedly which made the Bull bark out some laughter.

"Stop it or I want to kiss that pout right off your lips." He growled into her ear.

"Only makes me want to pout some more." Adaar pointed out.

"But is quite likely to embarass Cullen and the dwarf." The big man winked at her which only made her bolder. "Only if you plan to ravish me right at the spot."

"Could you please stop it? We have ears." Varrics voice interrupted their banter.

The whispered "Thank you." from the Commander just told him it was the right thing to do, even though it would have been fun to see his face take on an even deeper shade of red.

They found the entrance to the dwarven city the following day. Great gates of dwarven origin where set into the stone below ground level, a steep flight of steps leading down to them.

On either side of the gate a dwarf was standing. They almost looked like statues, grey the colour of their armour and their beards. Cowls were pulled deep into the faces of these men, hiding their features from sight. Their hard gazes could not be seen but felt.

As the Inquisitor and her companions stepped down the stairs to greet the dwarfs, the guards readied their weapons. Axes made of finest dwarven steel were glinting in their hands.

Adaar held up her hands, empty as they were.

"I am Inquisitor Adaar of the Skyhold." She announced. "We come here as friends, asking passage through your city."

The dwarfs seemed to exchange a glance, but still held up their weapons.

"Can see that you are outsiders. Tall. Qunari." One of them growled and it sounded as if he was gargling marbles all the while.

"That I am." Adaar agreed. "My Companions are the Iron Bull, mercenary of renown, leader of the Bulls Chargers. Varric Tethras, _Deshyr_ of Kirkwall to the Dwarven Merchants Guild and Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath the General of the Inquisitions forces."

The latter cringed on the mentioning of his full name and title.

Adaar continued as if she had not seen: "Go inside, ask anyone who had dealings with the Inquisition if we are who we claim to be. We humbly ask for passage to the deep roads."

One dwarf gave a signal to someone unseen and the heavy gates opened for a fraction. Both of the guards then slipped through, as not to leave one of them alone where he could be attacked.

The doors then closed behind them.

The wait seemed endless. Finally, what felt hours later the gate opened again, this time wider. Without a word the two guards took up position outside again, but did not reach for their weapons.

"Go." The gravely voice of one commanded and Adaars group stepped inside, heavy doors falling closed behind them again.

As the mountain seemed to swallow them, darkness engulfed the companions. There was a faint glow coming from the sides, almost organic did it seem to emanate from lichen covering the walls. As their eyes got used to the gloom they discovered massive wall carvings depicting the paragons of Kal-Sharok on either side of the way.

The Bull lighted a torch and they went deeper towards the city. Only as they reached the outskirts of Kal-Sharok they found another living soul.

The dwarf had apparently waited for them and gestured to Adaar to stop.

"Not the city." His voice commanded in the same gravely tone the other dwarf had spoken in. He then led the way along a dusty street of packed earth until they stood before another set of heavy doors.

"Passage you demanded, passage you get. Deep roads." The way they talked unnerved Adaar. But it was probably sheer luck they spoke their language after all. Maybe they would have fared better with the dwarven language, but this was good enough.

She inclined her head respectfully at the dwarf, as he opened the gate for them to go through. "Thank you."

Only an unintelligible growl was heard behind them and again, the closing of doors.

"Nice people. Makes me glad to be one of them." Varric said as they were left alone in the darkness.

"Ah, don't bullshit yourself." The Bull said, clapping a hand on the dwarfs shoulder. "You are nothing like them."

"Right," Varric agreed, "Sometimes I even find it in me to perform basic social interaction. And I don't chew rocks while speaking."

"Commander?" Adaar asked softly, turning to Cullen. "Will you lead the way?"

The former templar nodded mutely, pulling out the necklace again. Holding on to the pendants soft glow he closed his eyes until he felt again the familiar pull on his mind.

He almost shivered from exitement, or was it fear? The road was likely long and undoubtedly dark.

"Those who wander in the Makers light know no fear nor darkness." He whispered to himself, stepping forth into the tunnel that would hopefully lead them to their lost friends.

The hurlocks head flew in a wide ark, making a sickening sound as it hit the wall. The dwarfs were watching Alistairs swordmanship with curiosity and seemingly some approval.

The warden had been lucky for once, finding some abandoned armour that was still not touched by the taint on the remains of a dead adventurer. The chainmail was a bit too loose, the man having been some stone heavier than him in life, but he had tied it around his midsection with a belt. Alistair thought that he could possibly work on fitting it to his frame if the dwarfs would give him any tools to do so on the next stop.

Their precognition regarding battle had been right, as the dwarfs were not evading the darkspawn, but sought them out. Already they could feel exhaustion welling up again as fight after fight confronted them with the visages of the corrupted creatures.

Leliana was peppering their foes with arrows, probably saving the life of many a dwarf in the progress, while Asha did her best to stun their enemies, so they would easily fall prey to the blades of her companions. She got quite good at controlling the battlefield and sometimes had the feeling, that the dwarfs would not have minded having one or two more mages in their ranks.

Just some more days would probably have them back in Kal-Sharok Alistair tried to assure them. In truth he did not know. Though the dwarfs seemed to know where they were headed he doubted it would be the great Thaig they once called their home. These were members of the Legion, or at least its pendant in the north. Outcasts of the dwarven Community. These men were not in a hurry to get back.

Ashas head almost did a leap of joy as she saw lights in a distance, an opening to a big cavern illuminated by braziers that burned with a strange smokeless fire. Her disappointment was almost palpable when she realized the houses before them were ruined and desolated, the streets roamed by deepstalkers.

"Great, deepstalker-stew for supper. Again." Alistair did not feel the joy he tried to convey. They threw themselves into the fight against the small animals. One deepstalker was no problem, but in packs like this they tended to be deadly. If their group was to make camp down here the beasts needed to be taken care of.

The deepstalker-stew **was** good. Or maybe Ashas tastebuds had started to deteriorate. Whatever it was, she felt almost content, sitting by the fire, eating and listening to Alistairs stories of the wardens and the fifth blight.

Seeing the man eat was another matter, but she tried not to concentrate on that. Apparently being a warden made one very hungy and probably forget their table manners. She had observed similar behavior in Blackwall. At least Alistair did not have that much of a beard for crumbs of food to catch in it.

Zevran and Leliana had separeted from them and the group of dwarves a bit and spoke with each other in hushed voices. They tended to do that a lot during their stops, but Asha did not mind. The assassins and spymasters secrets could stay their own for all she cared. Something in her was glad for Leliana that the secretive woman had found someone to share her worries with.

Immersed in conversation with Alistair, who just relayed his own account of the fight against the archdemon on top of Fort Drakon Asha did not notice the arrival of the group of newcomers.

The Inquisitor and her men had fought through groups of darkspawn and other creatures of the dark these past days. They were not always able to take the direct route, because they met with too much resistance, but eventually a big cavern had opened before them, containing one of the smaller abandoned Thaigs. In the middle of the houses a larger groupof dwarfs could be seen and among them some bigger figures.

When Adaar recognized her spymaster and the elf she broke into a run. Passing some startled dwarfs who made a grab for their axes she barreled into the red haired woman, lifting her from the ground in a bearhug. She was lucky Leliana had expected a welcome like this and did not defend out of reflex.

Zevran gave the dwarfs a shake of his head, indicating that they need not worry. Their friends were finally here, they would go home.

"Inquisitor." Lelianas voice was soft and fond, contrasting the use of the formal titel. "We have vital information for you. But I think it's best relayed back at the Keep."

Adaar nodded. She was just happy to have her friend back. Sitting down together on some stone benches the group started to share the tales of their adventures apart up until now.

Only the Commander separated from them, as the two figures at the campfire a little to the side drew his attention.

She was with another man. Cold dread curled in Cullens stomach. In the firelight his love was sitting next to another warrior, hand on his shoulder, eyes resting on the mans handsome face with an intimate familiarity.

A smile curled her full lips and her head was held at an angle baring the soft line of her throat to the man beside her. They were obviously deeply immersed in their conversation, a soft laugh emerging from the mages mouth every now and then.

The Commander stood staring, clenching fists that suddenly felt cold and sweaty. Had they ever had that kind of easygoing closeness? Did this mans presence make her feel more secure and lighthearted than his?

His fingers curled around the little pendant she had sent to him, the thing that brought him here. It still felt warm to the touch, a warmth that was hers. Would he ever again feel the bliss of that warmth emanating directly from her hands, her lips, her body pressed to his?

Cullen tried to shake these thoughts from his head. He should run up to her and gather her in his arms, not stand here doubting himself just because he saw her with another, carefree as this.

Before he could walk over however she glanced up in his direction and froze. Ashas hands flew up to her mouth, disbelief overtaking her features. Then she broke into a run. Almost stumbling over the hem of her robes the mage darted over to him, having trouble coming to a stop before she collided with his breastplate.

Asha flung out her arms throwing herself at him. Her eyes were streaming tears as she buried her face into his neck. "You are here." She said between sobs and the relief she must have felt warmed Cullens heart. His love had not forsaken him.

He felt ashamed. So easily had he mistaken camaraderie for something else. Words failed the former templar so he just resolved to hold her as close as he could so she might feel the overwhelming love that welled up in his chest.

The other man slowly sauntered in their direction. Cullen could see the broad shoulders that identified a warrior. The heavy chainmail worn like light armour on a lean body steeled by years of training. The face was handsome the prolonged stay in the deep roads the mans hair seemed to defy gravity as its sandy locks complimented the features of his face. The stubble on his chin reminded Cullen of his own unshaven jaw. And somehow there was something else in the stance that reminded him of himself. Considering the shield on the mans back and the longsword at his hip he surmised that this could have been a templar too. He just seemed so familiar.

"You?" Alistair seemed to recognize him too. With a look of plain disbelief he glanced back and forth between Asha and the Commanders face.

"Don't I know you from the Circle?" The grey warden was close to pointing a finger. "During the blight. Uldreds prison? That was you, wasn't it?"

Realization dawned on Cullens face. The man had been witness to his ill-advised confessions of love at Neria Surana. And even worse: to his demand for the annulment of the Circle. He did not know what shamed him more.

"You were kind of in love with my wife if I remember correctly." Alistair scratched the back of his head. "Now this is awkward."

Makers breath, could he not have kept that silent? The Commander was still holding Asha, but he felt her body stiffen. She obviously either did not know or did not like to be remembered as well. The mage turned her head around. "Neria is married?" Okay, so it was this part of the information that had her attention. Cullen did just not yet allow himself to feel relieved.

The wardens face lit up with a bright smile. "Oh yes. We said our vows directly after the fifth blight, before she went to Amaranthine. Very festive. The queen was there .. uhm, maybe I'll count that under downsides." The memory of Anoras sour face as he married the killer of her father had not been his highlight of that particular day.

Asha felt introductions were in order. "Cullen, this is Alistair. A grey warden and .. husband of Neria Surana, Hero of Ferelden. Alistair, this is Commander Cullen, formerly of the templar order and now the General of the Inquisitions army."

"You have been a templar too?" Cullen examined the other mans posture.

Alistair shook his head. "I was just a recruit when Duncan enlisted me to the grey wardens. I never said my vows or took the lyrium." A wistful look crept over his face when he mentioned the older wardens name. The memory of this particular loss still pained the man.

The Commander nodded. Never to have taken the stuff, that made things easier surely, but he had left the blue behind himself too, did he not?

The three of them sat down back at the fire, Alistair inviting Cullen to some of the leftover stew. With warm food in his stomach and Asha looking up at him adoringly at his side the deep roads did not seem so bad anymore.

Adaar glanced over to where the mage and the two warriors were sitting by the fire.

"Cute."

"Yeah. Nice of you to have him go over alone first." Varric agreed. "Wonder if the other guy will realize if he overstayed his welcome."

"Talk about cockblock." The Bull laughed. "Think I should go rescue them?"

Adaar shook her head grinning. "We'll all go. I want to see that no one put a scratch on my new favourite mage."

"Who made her favourite all of a sudden?" Varric lifted an eyebrow.

"Solas and Dorian are gone and it can hardly be Vivienne, can it?" Adaar shrugged. It was not that she despised the knight enchanter, but they never exactly warmed to one another.

"You got food?" The Bull was mightily pleased by the sight of bubbling stew inside the pot over the fire. He did not wait for Alistairs "Help yourself." and ladled a generous serving into a waiting bowl.

Adaar wrapped her arms gently around Ashas shoulders. "I'm sorry." She said in a low voice. "They were all around us, I could not get you out."

"Don't be." Asha hugged the big woman. She knew how Adaar always looked out for her companions. Leaving her in the grey wardens hands must have been hard.

"Glad to have you back Sparklehands." Varric patted Ashas arm and went to sit down beside the Bull. The group emptied the pot of stew together and shared some bread and jerky afterwards. The Rock-Knockers seemed to be watching them out of suspicious eyes, but the friends did not care.

Together they would get out of here, with or without the help of the dwarfs.

They went to sleep in one of the abandoned houses. The walls were overgrown by strange vines, but it was walls and even some of the roof remained.

They separated to different rooms, Adaar and the Bull craving some privacy. Zevran, Leliana and Varric took up another chamber, likely talking rogue-stuff and Alistair joined them after a clipped conversation he had with one of the Kal-Sharok dwarfs. Those would be camping outside and inform them if they should depart. Additionally Asha set up some protective glyphs at the entrance of the building, so they felt it safe enough to rest.

The mage joined Cullen on his bedroll, as this seemed nicer than trying to bed down on the small one the dwarfs had given her.

"I stink." She said with distaste as his arms came round her, hugging her close.

"You do not." Cullen said, lightly nuzzling her neck. She raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Hnn?"

"Okay." He had to chuckle. "Maybe you do. But so do I."

None of them had fared very well without a bath for days, fighting darkspawn and other creatures. The smell had seeped in and their clothes were covered in grime and blood.

"Do not." The mages hands sought skin under the folds of his shirt. "Somehow you always manage to smell of leather and armour-polish. I like it."

Their lips met, tentatively at first, reacquainting themselves with each other after their time apart.

Feeling Cullens body pressed against hers again, unyielding, and warm, his skin smooth to the touch Asha found it hard not to let their kisses become too heated.

Her fingernails scraped lightly across her lovers back, eliciting a soft moan from him, the slightly opened mouth inviting her probing tongue.

With a gasp he separated from her. "Makers breath, we can not."

"Can not what?" She inquired smiling, her hand now playing with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. Cullen closed his eyes, leaning into the touch.

"Do I have to spell it out? The others are just over there. Maker, why do you tease me so?"

"Don't they say he tests those most faithful the .. hardest?" Her mouth swooped down to gently nip the soft spot under his earlobe. The grasp of his hands at her hips tightened, his desire making itself known against her thigh. Pressing her down onto the bedroll he claimed her mouth with his again, all tongue and teeth, desperately seeking out her warmth.

.

Alistair had trouble sleeping, the rustling and muffled moans from the adjoining room suggesting someone else had also not quite closed their eyes. "Whatever are they doing over there?" He mused.

"Oh my dear friend. You can not be so innocent still. After all you are a married man, no?" Zevran chuckled. Somehow this was sweet retribution, as he himself had often laid awake at camp during the fifth blight, while Alistair and Neria had been whispering sweet nothings in the wardens tent.

"The Commander is a man of honour and solid principles." Leliana whispered sleepily. "It's probably just the nightmares."

"Yes, nightmares. I know those." Alistair sighed and rolled over, facing the wall. Closing his eyes he tried to think of his wife, so far away. Knowing her somewhere in the deep roads around Orzammar made him almost feel closer to her. They were still connected by tunnels and old dwarven roads and he was sure they would be reunited soon.

.

Ashas robes were hitched up to her waist, her legs tangling with those of Cullen. Showering her neck with kisses, the mans deft hands were exploring her body, resting slightly longer on the soft swell of her breasts.

Again he stopped his administrations, sighing heavily. "Maker preserve me but I want to do this."

How long had he laid in his bed or on his bedroll at camp aching for her. It was easy to forget the world around them now, her eyes, looking up at him hooded and full of want.

"You won't though." She said softly, laying another kiss on his lips.

"You know me too well." Cullens smile was almost abashed.

"This is not better than the courtyard at the keep." Asha pulled her robes down an inch again and wrapped her arms around him, her head against his chest.

"Not here, not now, that were your words, as far as I remember. I guess the deep roads are not exactly a good place to lose oneself in." Understanding carried on her words and the Commander felt relieved, though slightly disappointed as well. Maybe losing himself here in her arms would not have been so bad.

"And it's not like we are Adaar and the Bull .. they don't care what's around them at all when .."

"Please stop." He interrupted her in a strangled voice. "Really? I did not need that image before my eyes. Not just now."

Asha chuckled. The heat between them had died down, but comfortable warmth remained. Cuddled up to the former templars chest she closed her eyes, lulled to sleep by his heartbeat.


	10. Chapter 10

Sleep did not last long for the Inquisitor and her companions. Soon they were woken by a commotion outside. Asha grabbed for her staff and quickly darted outside, seeing what had the dwarfs in an uproar.

It seemed some genlocks had taken up fight with the dwarfs. It were not many, perhaps a vanguard and the mage directed a stun field at their midst. An arrow whizzed by her face and stuck out shuddering from the doorframe causing her to pull her head back.

Leliana, who had obviously slept in her leathers was up beside her in a second. The spymaster nodded to her, firing an arrow at one of the genlocks fighting with a dwarf nearby.

"Genlocks, not many, still time to get armoured up." She shouted to the rooms behind her, while Asha tried to get a good shot at the archer who had just barely missed her.

The Rock-Knockers fought well and the threat was taken care of quickly by their sentinels. However it was clear, that more of the dreadful creatures would come if they stayed much longer in this place.

When everyone was ready, Alistair went over to the dwarfs leader, thanking them for their guidance and support. As the Rock-Knockers were not about to go back to the surface their ways had to part here. The dwarfs did not look unhappy about this as they packed up quickly and marched down the broad dwarven road that led them back into darkness and probably towards another group of darkspawn.

The Inquisitors group was just left standing there beside the cold remains of the campfire.

"Now that was fun." Adaar announced, secretly relieved to see the strange dwarfs go. "We marked the tunnels on out way down here, so we can just double back I hope."

"If no sudden hordes of darkspawn have invaded the very same tunnels, no?" Zevran reminded her. Everyone of them hoped that would not be the case. Especially for the group around Alistair sunlight was an enticing prospect, something they had looked forward to for far too long now.

As they were trudging along the path Adaar had pointed out Leliana came up to the Inquisitors side.

"You know I lied, right?" The spymaster asked. "When I said we would have to speak about something at the Skyhold."

Adaar nodded. "Sure, we are not going back. But would not do to have the dwarfs know that."

Leliana was a bit proud of her friend. She had catched up to that quite fast.

"Wait, why tell them we were headed for the Skyhold then?" Alistair apparently was not so fast on the uptake. The redhead sighed and explained: "We are near Anderfels and you know how the dwarfs have quite some respect for your order? Would it be wise to have them tell the truth if someone inquired about our whereabouts?"

The warden managed to look abashed. Naturally Leliana was right. But this brought up the question about where they were going.

Adaar answered that one soon enough, explaining how they would have to pass by Kal-Sharok as they knew of no other exit to the deep roads in this area. Lacking any cards it would have been dangerous to stray too far from the path they came.

If they got out, hopefully without drawing further notice they would then make stop in Perendale where they could take up contact with the Keep.

In the days following they surprisingly found the way back devoid of darkspawn. A giant spider once in a while and deepstalkers quite frequently crossed the companions path, but those were but a nuisance.

Between Adaar, Cullen and Alistair they had a pretty decent shieldwall, which any enemy would have a hard time overcoming. It would be stretching it to say that spiders and deepstalkers were poor tacticians. A foe that lacked finesse like these could almost not be counted as a threat.

"I almost pity the poor beasts." Varric grinned, putting another quarrel through a deepstalker from his safe position at the back of the group.

"At least they make for some decent stew." The Bull took the dead creature and hauled it above his shoulder. They left much more of the carcasses behind, soon being well privided with deepstalker-meat.

When they finally stood at the heavy doors behind which Kal-Sharok lay, a fleeting moment of doubt passed over them. There was no way of opening the gate from this side, its heavy frame able to hold even against an attacking ogre.

They were lucky, that the guards on the other side reacted to their shouts, probably expecting a regiment of Rock-Knockers. The looks they got when they emerged from the tunnel, battered, dirty and exhausted and except for Varric far too big to be dwarfs were incredulous at best.

Their attempt at being inconspicious was probably not the most sophisticated either, but a quick murmur of thankyou's later they had hurried out of Kal-Sharoks sights and stepped out of the giant doors that led back to the outside world.

Asha greedily sucked in the fresh mountain air. Despite it being night already and quite chilly to boot she closed her eyes in utter bliss. How she had missed this.

Goosebumps were prickling on the mages skin and she looked up to the skys, rewarded by a clear view at the stars.

Cullen came up behind her, having unlocked the fastenings of his cloak and laid the furry garment around the mages shoulders. The weight was almost uncomfortable, but the warmth and the gesture were appreciated. The look of thanks he got from her blue eyes made his heart leap with joy.

"Okay lovebirds, listen up." Adaar was not about to linger in the dwarven cities proximity. "I know it's dark and I know you are probably tired, but we'll try to get out of the mountains now. If you see a decent place to make camp suggestions are welcome. Just try to see them some way further ahead."

Some more miles of stumbling over sticks and stones in the dark hills, trudging along tiredly they actually found a nice clearing beside a small body of water. Nobody was still up for fooling around when they fell into their bedrolls that night. Those who were not posed as sentinels fell asleep almost instantly.

In the morning, Adaar and Leliana were standing in front of Ashas bedroll. She almost jumped, when the first thing her eyes opened on was Adaars face.

"You are awake, great!" The Inquisitor showed her a disconcerting grin.

"Why are you on the ground next to me?" Asha sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes.

The Commander was nowhere to be seen and the smell of a stew was wafting over from the fireplace.

"Alistair has prepared breakfast." The look of distaste on the spymasters face was almost comical.

"But this is not why we are waking you." Adaar continued.

"The truth is, dear, you need a bath." Leliana sounded truly apologetic and Adaar was quick to add: "We all do."

"So you came to get me? Right. Okay." Asha got up and though having a bath with the two single most intimidating women she had ever known was a bit frightening she really liked the prospect of feeling clean again. She almost had the feeling the deep roads grime had taken up permanent residence upon her skin, probably developing life of itself.

The men were sitting at the fire, already eating as the three women headed for the lake. Adaar gave a wink to the Iron Bull who wistfully followed her with his eyes.

"Would join them, but I'd hate to wake up with a dagger in my back." He grinned with an inclination of his head towards Leliana. "Redheads .. really nice. But that one is scary."

"Says the man who beds the Inquisitor." Varric quipped.

"Hah, she's just a big softy. But that one there is dangerous." The Bull might like Leliana well enough, but he knew better than to anger the former bard. He knew deadly when he saw it.

Zevran smiled knowingly, finding the big mans assessment accurate.

"So, you and Asha?" Alistair tried to take up conversation with Cullen, who did not feel quite in the mood to discuss his lovelife with the man who married his first crush.

"With all due respect, but I do not see how this is any of your business." He tried to evade further questions.

Alistair tried an apologetic smile. "Well, we are friends, I guess. You are a lucky man."

Cullen found this statement to be true enough at least. "I guess I am."

"Could be even happier." Zevran chimed in. "It would not hurt to take a peek at our three fair ladies bathing, no?"

He did just not expect this statement to be met with expressions varying from displeasure to open mouthed shock.

"I don't care if you throw your life away rogue, but I'll just sit here and wait for a private show later on." The Bull gave him a challenging glare.

Alistair was just speechless, throwing up his hands. During the blight he had once stumbled in on Neria bathing and was only saved from feary retribution by the fondness she had felt for him already. And though he did not know the Inquisitor well enough to predict her reaction and had no doubt of Ashas soft heart, Leliana as he knew her now would have no qualms at expressing her anger.

Cullen stood up, hand at the hilt of his sword. "The Bull might not care what you do, but I swear, set one foot into the direction of that lake crow and you will regret it."

"Such valour, and that fiery dedication to your companions. You see me trembling." Zevran purred and somehow it made the Commander feel mightily uncomfortable. Had that elf no shame?

Alistair felt amused. The elf had used that voice and look on him before and it always had him stuttering and confused back then. It was good to see he still had it in him. Too much time had passed without the warden seeing his old friends from when they trekked around Ferelden, following in Nerias steps.

Laughing, with hair wet and tousled and considerably cleaner than before the women returned to the fire. As Asha had lost her pack and spare set of robes in the wardens prison, Adaar had given her one of her own shirts. Her robes were washed as well and left to hang over a branch nearby drying in the sun. The other two were also dressed in clean and comfortable garments as they all sat down to eat their own share of breakfast-stew.

"You smell divine." The Bull growled softly, trying to nuzzle Adaars neck.

"So I should. As Herald of Andraste I'm practically holy right?" She laughed and pushed him away playfully.

"Good thing I'm not religious." The big man grinned but the Inquisitor quickly made him realize that there would be no touching of any kind until he had a wash himself.

When all of them were done, feeling better for the absence of the deep roads filth, Leliana started to explain what they had found in the grey wardens dungeons.

"So they have started to experiment with the red lyrium themselves?" Adaar could not believe the commanders of the order would be that stupid.

"They probably just try a way to become stronger, use it as a means to better fight against the darkspawn." Alistair surmised.

"Or they are under the influence of some other power again. The story mentions more than one magister trying to get into the golden city, no?" Though Zevran did not like to disappoint his friend, it was entirely possible that Alistairs fellow wardens had been corrupted.

"We will contact the Keep and Dorian when we arrive in Perendale." Adaar decided. "Someone should be able to tell us if there was news from Weisshaupt and maybe some more insight on Tevinter history. Maybe Corypheus still had some living .. friends. If the wardens merely are experimenting on their own maybe Josephine can use diplomatic means to make them see reason."

"Have someone try to contact Neria too." Leliana added. "She will be glad to hear we found Alistair. As you said before there was red lyrium around Orzammar too. Maybe she has found something out."

When the clothes had dried they continued their journey to Perendale. It was a warm autumn-afternoon and Asha almost had the feeling they we just having a pleasant stroll. She kept close to Cullen who was seemingly avoiding the elf.

"Does Zevran annoy you?" Asha could not help but notice the nervous glances the Commander flashed the man.

"Maker he is irritating." Cullen sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You have not seen the looks he has given me while we were bathing."

"Oh those." Asha grinned. "I think he does this to everyone. It's like a game. A test of sorts."

The former templar nodded. "Possibly. It is most bothersome."

"Guess how I felt getting naked with Adaar and Leliana then." The mage replied and the Commander felt himself redden.

"I'd better not."

Now Asha could not help it. "Oh, surprisingly they both seem to appreciate the sight of other females bodies. Who would have thought."

She got a glare from him, but delighted in seeing him get flustered. Oh sweet Andraste, the images she planted in his head.

"I cannot deny that I appreciated the sight of you in that shirt." Cullen whispered smouldering down at her. It was a look to invoke deep desire in Asha. Something she would not pursue now.

"You should see what I wear sleeping at a safe place like the Keep." She winked and felt rather playful doing so.

His answer came in an unexpectedly calm tone as he said: "I might take you up on the offer."

This promised to get interesting when they would reach the tavern. How nice would it be to share a bed without the constant fear that darkspawn or other creatures could attack. Asha could hardly wait.

When they arrived in the small town it was not hard to find the inn. It was one of the bigger houses, accompanied by a stable. While the place seemed peaceful enough, despite being somewhat remote it did not offer much in the way of entertainment.

The taverns common room was nearly empty except for a couple of patrons at the bar. Obviously those were the resident drinkers, here for their evening ale and likely here to stay until the barman would send them home to their wifes and beds.

"Lovely place." Varric commented dryly sitting down at one sticky table. "How long are we going to stay here again Inquisitor?"

"Until we aquire some news from our allies." Adaar replied, then sauntered over to the barman to ask for rooms and supper."

Not a big surprise, all rooms were currently available, business going slow in the middle of nowhere near the Blasted Hills. There were three rooms on the upper floor, Adaar renting all of them for this first night.

"Alright guys, three rooms for eight people. How do we want to do this?" She announced, sitting back down at the table where her companions had already seated themselves.

"Alas my dear Inquisitor it will be seven people only." Zevran drawled, throwing her a signature leer. "I plan to take my leave, now that our dear Alistair is rescued from the other wardens fangs, so to speak."

Adaar was only surprised the elf wanted to go before another night of sleep. "I see how your obligations seem to be fulfilled." She said. "But wouldn't it be wise to rest?"

"Beautiful and thoughtful, I can see how all these men look up to you. But no. I do not have this luxury. But rest assured you'll always have a friend in the shadows if you should feel a _need_."

The look the man was giving her was shameless. Adaar thought it was just as well the elf was about to go, for his constant flattery was getting on her nerves and probably a growing risk for the assassins life itself. But maybe that was the appeal behind it. Some men just loved to dance on a knifes edge.

"Hah, she get's her needs matched, do not worry." The Bull laughed at Zevran amiably. He recognized the other mans flattery for what it was and worried more about his knifes than other things he might have hidden in his pants.

Lelianas calm orlesian dialect then interrupted the exchange: "I know how to contact Zevran should there be anything he can help us with. Tomorrow then I will return to the Skyhold. I'm of much more use there than here, where I can not coordinate my spys and scouts in quite the same way."

The Inquisitor nodded, it was a sensible thing to do.

"I will accompany her." Alistair said. "I don't think I can be of much help up here, as the other wardens would not be exactly happy to see me again. And I have to admit, I miss my wife. I should join her in her endeavours down at Orzammar. Maybe we can be of use there together. Perhaps even rebuild the wardens in the south. The Inquisition will have every support we can give."

Leliana gave Cullen a pointed look, not without pity, but her meaning was understood.

"So, a group of three to go south again. The troups at the Keep need their Commander too. I've been away for too long already." He sighed and could not meet Ashas eye. His heart was telling him to stay, but duty was an unforgiving mistress. He could not and would not forget his obligations to the Inquisition because of personal affairs.

"I take it the rest of you stays." Adaar looked at her remaining three Companions. "If there is nothing to be done and we are likely here to stay for too long we will go back either way. But if there is an opening to get at the First Warden and this lyrium-business I want to be close to strike immediately."

The rest of the evening was spent with Varric playing diamondback against Alistair and the Bull. Adaar was writing letters to the Keep, cursing frequently. Until they aquired some new birds the missives would have a long time traveling. It was reassuring to know these would at least be in Lelianas hands.

Zevran was gone soon and the spymaster had retired to her room early. She had decided to room in with Varric and Alistair in what the barman boasted to be the kings suite. It had likely never even seen a minor lord save a king, but it was slightly bigger than the other two chambers the tavern offered. Leliana almost chuckled, musing that it now would actually house someone of royal blood for once, the owner never the wiser.

The royal bastard himself was just about to lose his last penny to Varric. Promised pennys, as he had no money on him since the flight from the Weisshaupt dungeons.

The Bull had exused himself from the game and taken Adaar up the stairs, sleep probably the last thing on their minds. Varric was glad he did not have to sleep in the same room as them. He glanced around to find that Asha and the Commander had left as well, probably out to relish in the calm clear autumm evening, stargazing or something.

Cullen touched his fingers to the pendant around his neck.

"After Kirkwall I wanted to abolish everything that tied me to the templar-order." He began. "But it seems something always will remain. It was templar-skills that helped us find you."

Asha smiled. "What the order once was, what made you join it, those are good things. It was you who found me."

The former templar gazed into her eyes. If ever this woman had feared templars he saw no sign of it in the way she looked at him. But wasn't it the same with him? She was not mage or possible abomination to him, just Asha. Adaar was right, they were far past seeing the proverbial horns defining what they were.

"Your phylactery .." Cullen began anew. "I cannot give you something of the same significance, but I want you to have something of my own too."

The mage looked up at him expectantly answering: "If it is of significance to you it's nothing less than what I gave."

He smiled a lopsided smile and reached into a pocket. "When I left home for templar-training, my brother gave me this." A small coin had appeared in the palm of his hand. "I believe it just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck." A fond smile accompanied his reminiscing. "Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through."

"But you kept it." Asha could see how it would be hard to give away something a sibling had gifted one with.

"I did. This was the only thing I took from Ferelden that the templars didn't give me."

Pressing the small object into her hand, closing her fingers around it with his own, Cullen looked deeply into the dark blue pools that were her eyes. "Humour me. I don't know if it's lucky but .. I lived through all these things in the past, yet here I am, with you. I can't say I don't feel lucky."

Asha pressed the small object to her chest, feeling her heart swell with love. "I will keep it safe." She whispered.

"I'm glad." Taking her in his arms, the Commanders lips sought hers for a tender kiss. Whatever was to come they would always find their way to one another again.

Kissing near the stables was nice, but the night grew chilly and the next day would have Cullen on the road again. When they went up to their chamber the tavern was already silent, only the barman and a lone patron still occupying the common room.

The Commander set his armour aside neatly, rubbing away a spot of dirt on the breastplate while Asha undressed.

"Coming?" She asked in a sultry voice from behind his back. Had she ever used that tone on him before? He could not remember, but it made something stir inside him.

Turning around he blinked stupefied. "You are naked." He could not help but stare.

The mage had moved the two beds in the room together and now sat on the edge of the matress just as the Maker created her.

"Makers breath, you did see me before, didn't you?" She gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Not like this. I just, I .." He was grasping for words desperately. Asha wished he would grasp for something else.

"Do you always sleep naked?" A prudent question, just not what she wanted at the moment.

"I seem have to forgotten my shift at the Keep." She shrugged, a predatory grin appearing on her face.

Cullen blinked away the vision of a desire demon offering herself to him. He was wide awake and this was her. Her dark hair still streaming around a pale face with eyes that always seemed a little too big, sometimes grey like Lake Calenhad on a stormy day, sometimes the clearest blue. The rosy lips that he so loved to kiss. This was no desire demon and he was not resisting anymore.

Stepping closer his bare hands slid softly over smooth naked skin. Embracing her he felt the raised flesh where three scars marred her back. Tracing the curve of her back, down to her hips he buried his face against her neck, nibbling the skin above her collarbone.

Her soft moans spurred him on, his touches getting ever more fervid. Ashas hands helped him divest himself of the rest of his clothes, hurriedly removing the offending garments, until she could relish in the feel of his own naked body against hers.

What Cullen lacked in experience he made up with in an abundance of passion. Whenever he seemed unsure of his administrations towards her, she gently guided him, delighting in his every touch.

Finally, spent and exhausted, their mingling sweat a fine sheen on their naked skin they fell asleep. Holding each other in intimate embrace the night could hold no terror for them and for once Cullen felt the nightmares at bay.


	11. Chapter 11

At the first light of dawn the companions woke and went to have a light breakfast together. The Inquisitor seemed especially tired and Asha made a note to herself to brew her up some rejuvinating potion later. The woman looked as though she had hardly slept at all.

It came to not much surprise, that Adaar announced she had been up early to try and organize some horses for her advisors and the warden.

"You won't believe how hard it is to weedle something with hooves and a saddle out of these villagers." She sighed annoyed. "They could only give me two beasts and to be true they are hardly worthy of being called horse."

Leliana laid a hand on the Inquisitors arm. "I'm sure it will not be a problem. This will be preferable to walking either way."

"Faster too I hope." Adaar nodded at her red haired spymaster. "First one is a sturdy farm horse. Master Dennet would throw a fit if I brought such home, but it will do. Would just as well pull a plow as carry two people. The other is a rickety mare that will probably die on you before you reach Val Royeaux, but I guess you will change horses earlier anyway."

"As soon as we reach an outpost I will hand your missives over to go by bird, so they'll arrive at Josies well before us." Leliana said. "I have the one for Dorian too. They will send that north. As soon as any reply arrives one of my spies will find you here."

The Inquisitor really hoped that Josephine back at the Keep would be able to contain the political desaster they had caused with their performance at Weisshaupt. If they could hope to speak to the wardens again, maybe it was still possible to have an understanding.

Naturally they would link Alistairs escape to the intrusion of her spy. And having Asha back was suspicious as well. But if they could brush the whole thing off as a misunderstanding, Leliana not purposefully stumbling into their dungeons and use the knowledge about the red lyrium as leverage, maybe there was a way.

The Anders royalty would probably not be happy to hear about red lyrium inside the borders of their land. It could put a wedge between them and the wardens if the issue was made public. The Inquisitor had written as much in her letters. Blackmail was not beyond Adaar or Josephine for that matter if it would assure them a way to clean up this mess.

When they said their goodbyes Asha tried to put on a brave face. It saddened her to see her friends go, but she knew it made no sense for them to stay in Nevarran no man's land.

She hugged Alistair, whose sense of humour and affability had endeared him to her and gave a friendly handshake to Leliana. Saying goodbye to Cullen was harder. Again their embrace seemed to last forever and when he kissed her on the lips she almost felt tears welling up again.

"Nice going Curly." Varric cheered and they parted blushing.

Leliana was riding double behind Cullen, as Alistair had opted to take the mare which was less likely to buck and bite. The farm-horse was a stout gelding but his temper was ugly.

When they disappeared in the distance the mages hand had closed tightly around the small coin that was residing in her pocket.

The going was slow for the Commander and his companions. The horses did not seem happy to be led away from the village, but he was an adept rider and Alistairs mare was more likely to follow the geldings lead than to bolt.

"I'm sure Neria will be relieved to have you back alive." Leliana started conversation with her warden friend who rode up next to them.

"I hope so." Alistair said. "We have not seen each other for so long, she'll probably not recognize me anymore."

Leliana smiled gently. "How could she not. You have not changed a bit."

The warden nodded. "Maybe. You have changed a lot, you know?"

Though Lelianas face was still as young and beautiful as it had been during the blight, the naivety and easygoing demeanour of these days seemed to have faded. Alistair was not sure if this was a good thing and was relieved for every shred of her old self she was revealing from time to time.

"Things have been hard Alistair." The former bards expression was serious. "I could not stay the way I was."

"Well, we all change I guess." Alistair turned to the Commander. "You do not seem to hate mages anymore for example."

Cullen narrowed his eyes: "I said some ill-advised things in the past. It is beyond me, leave it be."

Alistair threw up his hands in defense, almost spooking his mare who gave a little jump.

"I did not mean to offend. Just saying .. I was suspicious of mages too I guess, until I met Neria." The wardens smile was fond as he thought of his wife.

"It can be weird too, when they do that thing with the magic." Alistair wiggled his fingers grinning.

"Neria always resorted to fire when .." He blushed.

The Commander was close to putting his fingers up his ears. There were some things he did not want to hear about his first crush at the circle. He gripped the reins harder.

"I guess small shocks of lightning are not as bad as burning the bedsheet." Alistair continued.

Maker could this man not shut his mouth? There were some things Cullen did not want to discuss about his current relationship too. Mainly all of it. Lelianas giggles right behind him did not make things better.

"You must feel like kindred souls." She now teased. "Anyway I've never seen two men with such nice hair. Is it a templar-secret?"

Alistair straightened in the saddle for a bit, obviously thankful for the praise. "I should not tell you but it's hard work having it fall like that. Takes lots of attention with a razor and a little bit of nug-oil for finishing touches."

The former bard giggled delighted. "And what is your secret Commander? Pray tell?"

"I don't .. I." Cullen was stuttering now.

"So it falls like this naturally?" The spymaster sounded surprised.

"No. I .. I actually do something." The Commander could not believe his hair grooming would be subject of conversation, but in the end it was a slightly better topic than the one before.

The tips Alistair had in that regard were not even half bad as the man had to admit. He only zoned out again as Leliana brought the topic around to shoes.

When finally they made camp and everything fell silent relief washed over him, coupled with dread. It would be a long ride home.

Days passed and the Bull seemed to have gotten quite well with the tavern owner and the villagers. He often drank with some of the locals in the evening, while Varric divested them of their coins by means of diamondback.

In the daytime the companions roamed the nearby woods and hills killing bears and wolves that threatened the villagers cattle. It was easy work and even the occasional group of bandits was not fit to make them break a sweat. The villagers where thankful enough, even though they had not much to pay them.

For all it was worth they seemed like a group of mercenarys, waiting for something or maybe hiding. Whenever someone asked they made sure to identify themselves as the Bulls Chargers. It was easier than to explain the presence of the Herald of Andraste.

The local Lord did not take notice of them and that suited Adaar quite well. It probably helped that the taverns owner seemed to turn a blind eye and maybe a deaf ear or two to their private conversations.

After their first night in Perendale they had agreed to only keep renting the two smaller rooms of the tavern. Asha saw no problem in sharing a room with Varric, though the dwarf complained of his bedsheets smelling like wet leather and thunderstorm the first night. They should probably have had the taverns owner change them, but Asha doubted the man would have been able to be as forthcoming as long as they rented the room anyway.

When the first spy arrived, bringing messages from the Keep it was a welcome distraction. Josephine had been immensely relieved to have the other two advisors back with her at the Keep. The warden Alistair was on his way to Orzammar and had promised to relay information about Nerias findings as soon as he located her. They would then try to rally some of the remaining wardens in the south and take up contact with Weisshaupt too.

Josephine had made some more inquiries about the First Warden too. He would soon get an offer regarding a new meeting with the Inquisitor on neutral grounds to discuss his dealings in a certain variant of lyrium. So far it seemed like they would have to fight boredom for a little longer.

That same day Adaar approached Asha stealthily.

"Speak with you? In private?"

They went to the bedroom Adaar and the Bull occupied at night.

"Inquisitor, how may I serve you?" The words came to Asha almost automatically. Adaar rolled her

eyes.

"It's kind of personal." She began and Asha thought she saw the grey skinned woman blush.

The mage lifted one eyebrow. "Well I'm a healer, you can tell me. If it's a rash or something .."

The Inquisitor interrupted her and grinned. "No, nothing of the sort. It's just .. We have been

here for quite some time now and .. I'm kinda out of nug skins."

"What would you need nug skins for .. Oh." Now Asha was blushing.

"I wondered if you could mix me up some potion or the like. You mages must know how to do these

things surely? The things I've heard about your Circles .."

".. Are utterly exaggerated." The mage sighed. "I lack the proper ingredients. But I could help you

out with a localized paralysis spell. As long as there is nothing hampering the magic that should

work quite fine."

"So that's how you do it? Spells? How convenient." Adaar grinned.

"Yes, well. Let's just get on with it." As reassuring as it was to know that Adaar would do her

part to not have personal issues interfere with her work as Inquisitor, so awkward was the topic

for the mage. Naturally she knew about the Inquisitor and the Bull, but Maker, she did not need

details.

Sleep did not come easily to Asha that night. Mainly she blamed the sounds from the adjoining room. Adaar had found some ropes and chains somewhere and they obviously had some use for that Asha did not want to imagine. So she lay in the darkness eyes as big as saucers staring at the ceiling.

"Varric?" She whispered.

The dwarf stirred. "Can't sleep either Sparklehands?"

"You wonder?" Asha barked out a muffled laugh. "You would think they strangle a dragon over there."

"Probably doing just that." Varric answered dryly. "Strangling a dragon, forging the moaning statue, donning the velvet hat, sheathing the sword, take your pick!"

The mage grimaced. "I guess it should not bother me, but Maker, have they got to be that loud about it?"

She pretended his mumbled "Hear who's talking." did not reach her ears.

"You could .. tell me a story." Asha suddenly suggested, wanting really badly to change the subject and craving some other sound to concentrate on. Varrics voice _had_ a nice timbre to it and his tales were usually entertaining. The dwarf chuckled lowly and indulged her.

He forewent his more daring stories and regaled her with the tale of Korth the Mountain-Father, god of the Avvars and how he sought to hide his heart in the Frostback-Mountains for fear of being weakened by it.

"..neither eagle nor falcon nor any other of the mighty birds was able to retrieve the heart, but the little ptarmigan fought her way up and succeeded where they could not." Varric ended his tale, finding his audience fast asleep.

"Just shows you don't need to be best, just suited to the task I guess." He mumbled to himself, giving her sleeping figure a last glance and turning to the wall. The noise from the other room had abated and the dwarf could get some rest as well.

It took another week until a new batch of missives arrived. Dorian had apparently taken a deep look into his tomes and found hints of a couple of contemporarys who could have been with Corypheus a thousand years ago. As it were seven old gods whispering their promises to their priests, one could venture a guess that there had been seven magisters as well entering the Black City. Other sources only spoke of followers of the Old God Dumat to have done the same, but without mention of their numbers. One source mentioned an eyewitness who apparently had once seen a group of darkspawn argue in the deep roads. Speaking words like no darkspawn normally could. Then one of these was killed and devoured by the others. However it was entirely possible that there were more creatures like Corypheus still in the world.

Another letter was written by the Hero of Ferelden herself. She described the sighting of another talking darkspawn in Amaranthine, someone who called himself the Architect. Apparently she had killed that one, but who knew for sure, Corypheus had been killed by Hawke before too.

Neria had also had once met a grey warden mage named Avernus, who experimented with bloodmagic and lived far beyond the span of normal wardens. That and the cure the mage Fiona apparently found for the taint could be what interested and drove the Weisshaupt-Wardens too. Maybe their experimenting with the red lyrium was just another search for a way to master the taint in themselves or removing it from Thedas for good. However she had not found further proof of someone being around the red lyrium deposits around Orzammar. It was possible that they were naturally tainted. That normal lyrium had become corrupted by the creatures presence in the area.

Probably the best news came from the Weisshaupt-Wardens themselves who had contacted Josephine about a meeting. Adaar would finally see the First Warden himself.

The Wardens had scheduled an appointment in a small village near the border between Anderfels and Tevinter. Apparently they still thought them to be around Vol Dorma.

Adaar was glad to have the innkeep know of their departure in the early morning of the next day. As nice as it was to sleep in an actual bed for so many nights in a row she was getting anxious to get moving again.

"You know it could be a trap." Varric mentioned casually as they strolled out of town heading for the Imperial Highway.

Adaar nodded "Presumably it is."

"Good." Grinned the Bull. "I'm itching for a real fight. Though it doesn't have to be wardens. If you could find us a dragon ..."

Adaar gave him a wink. She would have loved to kill another dragon with him. It had been fun to drink with the Bull the first time they had slain one of the beasts. She could just imagine celebrating again together.

They took their time walking the distance to the meeting point, making camp frequently. Going by foot they would arrive just in time and on the road they were harder to spot than as a sitting duck in Vol Dorma or the town that was their destination itself.

"Korban .." Varric mused. "Never heard of it really. Must be damn small and unimportant. Probably no big loss if one should grind the whole place into dust."

"Let's just hope that won't happen please." Asha looked slightly sick. She really preferred thinking that they would have a nice talk with the wardens, agree on an understanding concerning the red lyrium and waltz out again, unscathed.

If they should capture her again, who knew if there would be anyone to save her then. If they should manage to capture, hurt or kill Adaar and the other two, that would be even worse.

"If the wardens are up to something we will fight them." Adaar turned her gaze to the mage with understanding. "We won't have a desaster like at Weisshaupt again. The location will be easier to leave, the wardens as much at home there as we are. I will lose no one again."

Asha wondered how the Inquisitor was always able to say these things in such a manner that made you believe, believe in your heart, that she was true. It was a voice of command and a voice you trusted instinctively. Nevertheless they did not know what lay ahead.

Their meetings in the war room were always missing something vital with the Inquisitor absent. Josephine relayed the contents of Adaars last missive to the other advisors. She had informed them, that they would approach the meeting point with the First Wardens men by foot, biding their time arriving. There would be no further communication with the Keep until after they had spoken with the wardens from Weisshaupt.

Though not everyone of them agreed with the decision, Cassandra arguing that this way they would probably arrive exhausted and leave themselves out in the open for far too long, there was nothing to be done about it. Their Inquisitor and her group had temporarily moved out of their reach. On the upside, Leliana suggested, if even their allies did not know of the groups location, their enemies would be none the wiser. During the blight they had camped outside so often, moving from battle to battle and always by foot, that this kind of tactic seemed second nature to the spymaster.

The Commander went to inspect the fortifications of the Skyhold afterwards before taking a break for quick prayer in the Keeps small chapel. He found Leliana there, who nodded mutely before taking up her silent chant again. For whatever the woman had gone through, she was still a devout follower of the Maker and just like her he called on him to safely return their friends.

They spent some time in silent contemplation and then left together. He often disagreed with the spymasters methods but in their faith he felt connected to her.

"A prayer for Adaar?" Cullen ventured, hoping the question was not too forward.

"For someone else." The spymaster almost whispered.

He nodded and did not implore, it did not seem his place.

"One for your mage?" The Orlesian smiled.

"Her as well, yes." The Commander wished for all of them to return. Especially the loss of Adaar was something he could not imagine. Should this happen .. no. It would not.

The redhead gave him a friendly glance. "I wondered what you saw in her at first."

This piqued his interest. "How so?"

"She's just not anything like Neria." Leliana sighed, her own feelings in this regard were nothing she would confide in him. "You know I have once been witness to your .. suffering."

That again? He did not like to be reminded. Cullens mood darkened.

"Neria inspired everyone, still does. Alistair was smitten with her from the beginning I believe and when I laid eyes on her .." She drifted off.

"The Hero of Ferelden is a remarkable woman. But my past infatuation with her I attribute to my youth." The Commander tried o explain with as much dignity as he could muster. These things were long gone and he intended not to look back anymore.

Leliana smiled. "She just seemed so plain, that Asha. Maybe she could still be called that. Nevertheless she broke you out of your shell when I had almost thought you had condemned yourself to being alone forever. I'm glad."

The spymaster was genuinely happy for the man. Over the course of time he had astounded her by standing his ground confidently among the strong women of the Inquisition. He never challenged their leadership, viewed them as equals, without regard for gender or even race. It would be easy to dismiss them as delusional women or Adaar for being Qunari, but he had never shown such way of thinking.

"I don't know if she's .. plain." Cullen ran his hand through his hair. "But she is pleasant company, understanding and sweet to everyone despite not everyone being nice to her in the past. She seems to see people, acknowledge them and listen. But I think it was her wit and humour that did me in." He smiled abashedly. No, he was not sure why her and why now, but he knew it was right.

It took a long time to reach the village Korban, but eventually the Inquisitor and her companions arrived. The place seemed deserted, which did not bode well. The wardens were secretive, but it could also be that they chose the place for the reason Varric had implied.

If there were no people living here, there was not much to lose if it should come to a fight. No eyewitnesses, no innocent bystanders killed. They could just vanish here and no one would be any wiser.

In front of a building that must have been the tavern, but was now but a ruin just like the other houses around, stood a single grey warden. They knew him by the insignia on his breastplate, the gryffon proudly displayed on his chest. The man gave Adaar a clipped nod and opened the door beckoning them in.

There at a table in the middle of the room sat an older warden. He exuded an air of leadership, a certain confidence that made him out to be of importance. The slightly greying hair on his head was cropped short, a well groomed beard of the same colour framing an angular and unrelenting chin. The lines around his mouth and 'twixt his eyebrows implied this man was more prone to scowling than laughing. His eyes were grey chips of ice glowering at the Inquisitor coming in.

The walls of the derelict tavern were lined by warriors, all bearing the grey wardens seal. A quick glance made Adaar think they could take them if it came to a fight.

The Inquisitor and her friends had kept watch over the village the previous day, camping quite near but hidden from sight. They had been witness to the warens arrival and could estimate their numbers. If they had still hidden reinforcements somewhere in the territory they had hidden them quite well.

"The Herald of Andraste." The words from the First Wardens mouth sounded clipped and void of emotion, he did not stand to greet her.

Adaar bowed her head slightly, acknowledging the man. "They call me that. The First Warden of the famed order of the grey I presume."

"Do not presume too much, Qunari. I have come here because you threatened our position in Anderfels, our headquarters as of old. You are not among friends here, Inquisitor."

The words were practically spit out. Adaar could see this getting a less than friendly chat. She decided for the diplomatic route, as all the reasons not to openly confront the wardens order still applied. She was just glad for Varrick and the Bull to keep their mouths shut this time.

"The incident at Weisshaupt was unfortunate." The Inquisitor took a seat, facing the Warden calmly. "We never intended to fight the grey wardens, but our inquiries were met with hostility as one of the members of my group got lost in your Fortress. However she came across some things you were .. storing in your cellars that have us worried."

"You want to make believe this was all coincidence?" Well, now the warden sounded angry. "You came into our Fortress on false pretenses, brought a spy inside and broke out two prisoners we had there for interrogation. One of those being a grey warden and therefore our responsibility and ours alone!" The First Warden droned on, pointing a finger angrily at Adaar.

Asha felt gooseflesh raise on her back. Something was wrong, so very wrong but she could not say what unnerved her so. It was as if the air was filled with magic, tasting of lead. Thick and red and hard to breathe. She knew that feeling from somewhere, the almost suffocating weight on her lungs, the building static that made the hairs on her neck stand on end.

The others did not seem to feel it. Maybe they were not as perceptive to magic, but for her it was second nature. Just not like this.

The man before them was not even a mage, none of the wardens in the room were. Just ordinary warriors, sporting swords and daggers on their hips, sometimes a greatsword or a shield.

The First Wardens eyes were staring ahead as he accused Adaar of yet more crimes against his order. Laying waste to interior and hurting guards badly, causing political complications with the Anders crown, raising suspicion against the honour of the grey wardens. _Andraste preserve me, he is not himself._

Asha could not contain a sudden gasp, a yelp of fear escaping her mouth.

Her companions looked at her puzzled as she grasped for her throat, slowly walking backwards. It could not be.

"Bloodmagic." The word tasted like bile in her mouth.

The mages eyes darted back and forth through the room. There was the puppet, but where was the puppeteer?

"Clever child." The First Wardens dead gaze seemed to focus on Asha now. "How did you know?"

_Because it's everywhere around us? Because I'm nearly suffocating? Because your eyes are empty and your voice hollow?_ All these answers in her thoughts, but none on her tongue.

One after another the grey wardens in the room grew still and slumped to the ground.

On Ashas warning Adaar had grabbed her weapons, the other two assuming a fighting stance as well.

"Red lyrium and now bloodmagic? Explain yourself!" Adaar stared down the First Warden who now stood, weapons still not drawn.

"This gets better and better." Varrick sighed pointing Bianca at the man, even though he was not sure this was really the threat they should concern themselves with. There was something else in here with them, the warden merely a distraction.

"Lay down your weapons Inquisition!" The First Warden demanded. "My power far exceeds yours and you surely do not want me to damage .. anything of yours."

Asha felt something pressing in on her mind. Her arms and legs going numb. _Oh please no._ The mage grit her teeth. So this was how it felt like, being possessed? Driven to the background of your own mind? Unable to fight? She heard Adaar shout at her. How funny the Inquisitors voice sounded. Asha felt like cotton blocked her ears or she was disconnected from the others by a surface of water. Water that drowned her.

The Inquisitor, Bull and Varrick looked on in horror as the mage slowly put her right hand to her face. "An unimportant one. Weak of mind. Her nature makes her perceptive. Her struggles are futile." The First Warden sounded almost amused.

The flash of lightning temporarily blinded Adaar as the mage sent a surge of power at herself.

Rage in her own eyes the Qunari spun around, beheading the First Warden in one swift stroke. But the man was still voice seemed now to directly speak in her head.

"You damaged my puppet. It's a pity. I will have a new one."

Varric kneeled down next to the fallen mage. She was breathing still, gasping in ragged breaths of pain.

The Bulls eyes were darting around the room. "Come out you shitty bloodmage! Fight like a man!"

"I am no man." The voice was calm and hostile but no longer droning in their heads. A creature was standing in one of the doorways leading to another part of the tavern. "I am so much more."

The thing was tall and dark and twisted. So similar to Corypheus, clad in the robes of old Tevinter. It's eyes were small and black, sparkling with menace. "What do you think you can do?"

The creature focused Adaar, standing squarely in front of her friends. "Whatever I can, darkspawn!"

A powerful static surged up around the thing. The First Wardens blood welled up from where Adaar had parted head from body, pooling around the magisters clawed feet. The hem of its robe was tinted a dark red.

"How dare you call me that, you ignorant fool." It hissed. "For a thousand years I have defended the realms of men. For a thousand years my vigil stood. For a thousand years I have sought them out. You owe me mortal."

"You?" Disbelief tinged Varrics voice. "And why should you defend the mortals?"

The creature did not even turn its head. "To find them. To kill them. Those that have betrayed us. That left us to despair. Those that have damned us. False gods."

"So you are just another megalomaniac on a vengeance trip. Good to know." The dwarf spoke low and the old magister ignored him.

"You wondered about the red lyrium in our possession? We use it. We grow stronger. I do not need the wardens to live for long. The taint is killing them, but they are useful. The lyrium is killing them but makes them more useful yet."

"So it was you all along? The First Warden a darkspawn?" Adaar concentrated on the mark in her palm, maybe her only chance of defense against Corypheus' like.

"They changed. They always changed. Puppets. Useful but their lifespan oh so short. I showed them the way. Control one and you control them all." The thing sounded so proud of himself, it sickened Adaar.

"The others did not agree. They were blind to our way. The only way that was left. Atonement. I guess I have to thank you though. For killing Corypheus." The creature came closer to Adaar who still waited for the right moment to strike.

"He had the red lyrium first. He used it. But he was wrong, presumptuous, delusional." Saliva sprayed from the creatures mouth as he talked himself into a rage. "How could he dream of becoming a god. We have angered the Maker. He has forsaken us, thrown us into darkness."

The darkspawn that had been the First Warden for so long looked at them through slitted eyes.

"Our sin must be atoned for. The false gods that led us to our doom must be destroyed and no sooner will I give up the order and our cause. The red lyrium and it's power is ours. Just another part of the taint that we will use to redeem ourselves. And then we will truly see the Golden City."

"You are as delusional." The Bull looked in horror as the creature accumulated even more of the dead wardens blood around himself. "Just kill it Adaar!"

He just wanted to charge that thing and get it over with. Deal with this as they had with Corypheus before it spawned a horde of demons at them or overtook their minds. Being a puppet to another being was scaring the dauntless warrior.

Adaar had one last question: "So who are you? The Architect?"

"That fool? He let himself be killed by one of my best. No. I am the Warden." The creature gave off a raspy sound that seemed to be a laugh. Raising it's hands it prepared for attack.

Her strike came swiftly and with precision. The Inquisitor swirled around after her sword was deflected by a barrier the enemy had build around itself.

"Pathetic." Came the darkspawns taunt, followed by a volley of bloody spikes flying at the companions. Adaar jerked up her shield, only to feel no impact of the projectiles. A light blue barrier was shielding them, stopping the things attack in midair.

"Annoying pest." It glanced at Asha, still sitting by the door who held up her staff. The Bull took that moment to attack from the left, smashing the bloodbarrier with a mighty swing of his axe.

Varric sprung into action too, the flurry of quarrels he released making it harder for the enemy to concentrate.

The fight was lasting long, the creature trying to take control of their minds but failing due to the power of the mark in Adaars hand. Somehow she could shield her friends, break them free from the thing that called himself Warden and if it tried to take control over her it seemed to hurt it greatly.

It made the wardens around them attack, like puppets on strings. Unfocused and without much grace. But deadly were their weapons nonetheless.

It pained the Inquisitor to kill innocent men and women, but the taint inside their blood seemed to grant the creature power over them. This was different from the pull across the fade it exerted by bloodmagic.

When finally the Warden-thing lay slain Adaar let her gaze wander across the devastation it had brought. The grey wardens lay in pools of their own blood. Varric was wheezing in a corner, exhausted and bloodied as well.

The Bull had taken an ugly new gash across his chest, a wardens axe severing skin and flesh. His other wounds were minor in comparison, but even this one would heal. He nodded at his lover, indicating all was well.

The mage that had been out at the beginning of the fight, but still tried to protect them from the darkspawn-magisters first strike lay crumbled to a heap where she had fallen prior.

Adaar limped over to the smaller woman, turning her over by the shoulder. She was alive as well. Relief washed over the Inquisitor. Once more they had succeeded.

But the right side of the mages face, her eye made for a gruesome sight. The surge of lightning Asha had directed at herself had been of her own doing. The pain had jolted her out of the darkspawns thrall but damaged her more badly than she had thought.

The Bull carried the mage back to camp, Adaar limping close behind. His strength was unbelievable, even with a wound like this. Sometimes it seemed to her nothing could stop him and she hoped that would prove ever true.

Adaar did the stitches on his wound herself, the big man taking a huge swig out of a skin containing a sharp smelling liquid. The mage had prepared salve and more potions, with which the companions now treated themselves.

When Asha came to, finding a poultice covering her eye she ripped it off, panicked by the darkness. And still she could not see. She directed a healing spell on her right eye, feeling the skin knitting together over ragged edges running up her eyebrow and down her cheek.

Tears welled up in her eyes as darkness lingered. The voice of Varric calmed her down.

"Sleep now, worry later." He said and it was what she did.


	12. Chapter 12

Varric had put a new poultice over the sleeping mages eye. The healing spell had done much for the disturbed flesh around the lid, brow and cheek, but the iris had a white tint to it, the whites where bloodshot and she had stared ahead unseeing. The unscarred left eye had seemed blind and bloodshot too, but the dwarf hoped that would be temporary.

They all rested briefly, the Bull complimenting Adaar on the stitching she did on his chest. It would be a nice scar for his collection. The Inquisitor was glad it did not bother him, yet it bothered her to see her companions hurt.

Her own leg had been punctured and she had sustained some burns from fireballs the magister had resortet to when bloodmagic did not suffice. It made walking back to Vol Dorma even harder. Adaar hated her own weakness, but consoled herself with the knowledge, that they had to travel slow anyway with the blind mage in tow.

"So, why take your own eyes Sparks? Striving to be more like me?" The Bull was leading Asha along the road trying to make conversation.

"As much as I long to gain a fraction of your greatness, no. I fear it was not the most conscious effort." The mage said weakly, stepping carefully over the stones and bumps she felt underfoot.

"Then why?" The big man had lost his own eye to a mace-attack shattering the side of his head. Had he not thrown himself in the way of that it would have surely been the end of Krem, his lieutenant. He knew those occasions, when you really do not think about the consequences, but had to act in the moment.

"Better than have you cut me down I guess. I was about to direct that at you, Varric, the Inquisitor. When I felt the energy build, that pressing feeling inside my head forcing me it was really all I could do, concentrating on bringing my arm around."

The Bull nodded. If she had turned against them, she could have ended like the wardens in the room. Adaar would have beaten herself up about it forever and he would not have liked it either.

"Well, glad you're still here then. Just another scar to carry proudly." The Bull grinned, though she could not see him. She felt the gentle pat on her back and tried to carry her head a little higher.

"I'm not going to ask how you threw up that shield in just the right moment, being blind." He moved his hand in front of her face, but she did not even flinch.

"Magic. Buildup, discharge .. Defense. Not very conscious either. And I felt that," She mimicked his gesture before her face. "The air moved." _Damn smartass mage._ The Bull thought smiling.

When they reached Vol Dorma they decided to rest in the same tavern they had stayed at the last time. Asha was slowly regaining sight in her left eye, still cloudy and blurred, but getting better steadily. The right eye was still hidden under a poultice but she felt it was a lost cause. Still she was glad it was just unseeing, not an empty socket. She had never been an ethereal beauty, but having a bleeding hole in your head did not seem appealing at all and she wanted to avoid wearing an eyepatch. She went to bed early that evening, feeling tired and sick to the stomach but thankful for a matress and a roof overhead.

The Inquisitor busied herself with a letter to the Keep.

"Good work on the beginning there Inquisitor, never have I seen a 'The' that beautifully ornate. At least not in your official missives." The dwarf was glancing over her shoulder.

"Shut up Varric. This is not easy." Adaar sighed. She really had not come far with her writing as she did not know how to describe the outcome of their quest.

"What shall I write? Everything went fine, the mission was a success. Yet we have killed the First Warden, wo really was just another old darkspawn, who would have thought. Oh and I nearly got us killed, but we are just heavily wounded. The mage lost her eye but she's really taking it well. Be home soon?" The quill she had sitting on the paper left an ugly blotch of ink right next to the swirls of her 'The'.

Varric grabbed a new sheet of paper and started to write.

"I think you almost got it right. I will work a little less on the ornamentation if you don't mind but .." A little while later he presented her with an accurate account of their last few days. It was not her usual tone in the missives but Adaar put her signature underneath.

"You left out the 'blind mage'-part." She observed.

"They will figure that out when we get back. No need to have Curly worry too much now." Varric folded the parchment and sealed it with wax. "I'll get it to the bird." He said. "Maybe you should rest. I'll also tell them to get the corpses from Korban. May help to convince the wardens they had been undermined by an old darkspawn-magister."

The Inquisitor nodded tiredly. A friend like Varric was hard to find. She would probably never see his like again. She was glad he had not been too badly hurt.

Their scouts had secured them a carriage with which they could travel back to Val Royeaux. From there they would take their horses back to the Keep, something which Varric probably did not look forward to. Adaar knew that he did not like journeys on horseback much, but getting home again would be worth it.

When she sank down into the Bulls waiting arms in their bed, mindful of the ugly gash that marred his chest, the grey skinned woman was almost ready to smile again.

"Everyone is still alive." She sighed into the crook of his neck, closing her eyes while he stroked her hair.

His words resonated in her ear as she fell asleep. "You did well Kadan."

On their way south along the Imperial Highway Adaar held the reins with the Iron Bull seated next to her on the coach box. Varric and Asha were sitting in the back of the carriage, someone having arranged for some nice blankets and cushions to make for a comfortable ride.

Some days had already gone by, Ashas left eye almost back to normal. She had taken a healing potion every morning to help the recovery along, but was glad to stop it as they made her feel queasy. The mage was confident, that she would be able to ride a horse again when they would reach Val Royeaux.

She moved her hand up to the ragged scar on the right side of her face.

"When I was an apprentice my teachers often mistook me for someone else or just plainly forgot my name. Guess now I have a memorable face at least." She gave a lopsided grin.

Varric shook his head smiling. "That's one way of looking at it Sparklehands. Still a pity about the eye. Would give me a hard time aiming."

"I just point my staff and wiggle my fingers anyway. No harm done." Asha tried to make it sound lighthearted, but the dwarf knew loss. Getting used to it would take some time for her still.

"At least you don't have to wear an eyepatch. Eye 's looking good, just a bit milky." The Bull shoutet over to them from the front. "And nobody will mistake your wink for a blink that way."

The carriage proved useful on their journey. At night they just slept on the blankets inside not bothering much with setting up tents. In Val Royeaux Adaar decided that they'd just tether Varrics horse to the back, letting him steer the carriage while she and the Bull rode their horses.

She was glad to have her dracolisk back, almost as glad as the stablehands were to have it gone. The mount had not taken a liking to the food they offered him, preferring chunks of flesh he tried to bite out of an unsuspecting groom to carrots, hay or oats. In the end they fed him the same things the dogs got, but received not much thanks from the creature either. It remained hostile in their care.

Asha opted to join Varric on the carriage, her brown mare keeping Varrics mount company. The dwarfs stories were a good diversion and their journey soon came to an end.

When they entered the Skyhold many of the inhabitants already came into the courtyard to see their Herald return. The Scouts on the battlements had shouted their arrival as soon as they had come into sight.

Just before the carriage came to a halt Asha slipped out of the back, scurrying away along the wall. In the press of people wishing to welcome the Herald no one took notice of her.

The Inquisitor and her companions found themselves surrounded. It had been a long time since Adaar had been absent from the Skyhold for such a stretch of time. She hugged her advisors and shook more hands than she was willing to count. How all those people had come to love and respect her always astonished her.

Another meeting in the war room later she was up to date about the events at the Keep in these past weeks. Adaar had also repeated all about their adventures and Josephine was glad to tell her that another First Warden had already been appointed, who was clearly distinguishing himself from anything to do with the darkspawn-magister and the red lyrium-research.

The wardens had declared they would share all their findings about the substance with the Inquisition and further refrain from using it on their brethren. Surprisingly they now were willing to support the wardens Alistair and Neria Surana in reorganizing the grey warden order in the south. Adaar suspected this was Nerias handywork, as her name did still hold some power, but decided it was not her business. The discord between Inquisition and grey wardens seemed mended and that had been her prime concern.

Speaking of concern, that was what clouded her Commanders face all the time throughout the meeting. Regards for his duty seemed to have kept him from inquiring, but it was clear to the Inquisitor that something was amiss.

When everyone filed out of the room the two of them still stood at the map table. The Commander glanced at her, a slight hint of fear creeping into his voice: "Inquisitor, I did not see Asha when you arrived back at the Keep. You did not mention her staying behind."

Adaar shook her head. "Because she didn't. We had her ride in the cart with Varric."

"Then why did she not greet me?" Cullen looked pained. Why would she avoid him now? Did their time apart estrange her from him so easily?

"Maybe she had to pee really bad?" Adaar cringed, that explanation was definitely not one of the best she had ever given. The Commander looked at her dubiously with a raised brow.

"There .. has been an incident during the fight with that Warden-spawn." The Inquisitor sighed. "I did not tell sooner, because we did not want to cause you worry needlessly."

Cullen listened stony-faced while Adaar continued: "She is well, regarding the circumstances, but perhaps the scarring .. maybe it bothered her. If she did not want you to see her like this, she did not say, but .. possibly it's that."

"Thank you." The Commander bowed his head and turned to go.

"Wait." Adaar grit her teeth. "It's her face, so .. try not to look too shocked."

With a sinking feeling in his stomach Cullen went to search for his mage.

As he climbed up the ladder to the hayloft he felt stupid for doing so. Nevertheless it was the first place his feet had led him to. Rays of sunlight gave the dust in the air a golden sheen. The hayloft seemed empty and the wooden beams creaked under the weight of his armour.

"Knew you'd find me here." Her voice came from a pile of straw in a dark corner of the loft. She sounded composed, but did not face him, sitting there, looking at her feet intently.

"Adaar told me you had been injured." His concern for her was palpable and almost made her cry. "Let me see. Please."

Stepping closer he saw the coin he had given her rest in the palm of her hand. A palm that now showed a mesh of scars very similar to what one could see after lighning struck a surface.

When she turned her head he did his best not to remain a straight face. The scarring around her eye still stood out red against pale skin, but was not so bad. The eye itself did not see him, staring ahead through a layer of white. Somehow it reminded him of the milk the woman used to put into her tea. A habit he would never understand.

"You are beautiful." He whispered and bent down to kiss her cheek, the scar, her forehead and then her lips. Cullen was glad to have her back, his churning emotions, these weeks of missing her, he poured it all in his kisses. The smile she gave him was as tender as his touch.

Taking her hand in his own he traced the scars that crisscrossed over the palm. "They resemble those around your eye."

"Because this is where it came from. You must think me especially foolish, to inflict such on myself." Asha laughed bitterly.

"I think you brave for standing at the Inquisitors side taking on a thousand year old bloodmage." The former templar said in earnest. Bloodmagic still scared him, though he would have stood his ground as well, fighting the Abomination that threatened their leader.

A little bit uncomfortable, pressed against his breastplate, but feeling safe in the strong arms holding her the mage cleared her throat. "There's one more thing." She grit out, almost on the edge of hearing.

"Hmm?" Cullen had leaned his cheek to her head and breathed the fragrance of her hair, accented by the smell of hay around them.

"You remember the night in the tavern? In Perendale?"

The Commander smiled fondly. It had been easily two month ago, but how could he not. To say that had been interesting did not do it justice. Intense? Amazing? Maybe. "You do not .. regret anything? Do you?" He asked, forgoing the question if she liked to do that again, maybe now? Here? That pile of straw started to look very inviting.

The mage blushed ever so sweetly. "Well, no. Technically not."

A weird answer that took Cullen aback, musings about the coziness of straw immediately forgotten.

"I may have, botched a spell that night or maybe .." _Maybe just forgotten that, maker be damned, you are a templar and suppressing magic is just that thing you do._ Asha held her head. Maker, this was hard.

"A spell?" Still the significance of what she was trying to say did not reach him.

"I could still make a potion, some herbal mixture .." _But I do not want to. Not really._ Asha stared at the dancing dust with her good eye, trying to find the words, hoping he would just guess right for once.

The light brown of his irises was specked with golden freckles, just like the dust around them, she noticed just now. That gentle gaze he had, that now was directed at her, full of concern, trying to make sense of her words.

"Makers breath," She sighed. "I'm pregnant."

"You what? But .. We .. I .." He sputtered. She knew it would shock him, ever more so than any kind of injury or scarring she could have sustained. This was truly frightening.

"Are you sure?" He caught himself and grabbed her chin, to gently made her face him again.

"I am a mage. A healer. It's just a miracle I had not noticed earlier, but with everything going on .. I should have realized. But as I said, there are still ways .." Her eyes burned. Must have been the stuffy air around them.

"No." He pulled her back into his arms. "What's done is done. We will do this." Love, a family of his own, this was more than he had ever hoped for. He would have to write to his sister.

The tears now ran freely over Ashas cheeks. He would not leave her, her stupid trust in magic not their undoing. Never had she felt that relieved, not even when she first set step outside the tower, marveling in grass and forests and all the wonders of the outside world.

Cullen took her by the hand and led her to his office. Closing the door behind them he signaled her to wait, searching for something in in the drawers of his desk.

"We have been apart for so long. And in between there was not much time together. Yet I care for you. Deeply." He looked into her eyes, one blue, one milky like the winter sky. "I wanted to wait a little longer, not act rashly or to early. I may have even feared to scare you off." He gave a low chuckle, running his hand through his hair.

"I think I have already done what I could to take care of the scaring-part." Asha grimaced, trying for a halfsmile. It made him laugh.

"I guess we have done this together. Anyway." He went down to one knee, opening a small box in front of her. "Will you do me the honour to give me your hand in marriage? Be my wife?"

Ashas mouth felt dry. The ring sitting on a small velvety cushion inside the box sparkled as if to mock her. "Cullen, you .. you do not have to do that. Just because .." She dabbed at her eyes, ignoring the sting on the still fresh scar.

He stood up still holding the ring. "I want to. Admittedly I did not plan it quite like this but .. would you like to be Asha Rutherford?"

"Rutherford?" She stifled a giggle. "I just now realize I did not even **know** your last name. Maker, do you have any more of these?"

Ignoring her fit of laughter the Commander earnestly explained: "My full name is Cullen Stanton Rutherford. Maybe I should have told you earlier."

"Stanton .. This will take some time getting used to." Asha smiled impishly.

"Please don't. Cullen really does suffice." He groaned, silently delighted to see her laugh again.

"Should have occured to me, that one could not just be called 'Ser'." The mage shook her head, then looked up again, to see him still waiting.

"I'd really want to. Be your wife, that is." She almost whispered, but he heard.

Slipping the ring on her finger, Cullen bent down to kiss his mage again, their whispered declarations of love almost drowned out by the fervour of their caresses. Whatever else would come, they planned to face it together, hearts and souls intertwined.

* * *

><p><em>Well. The end.<em>

_I admit I am a little bit ashamed about how I ended this, pregnancy and marriage being so cliché and as Cullen mentioned, it seemed a bit early. _

_On the other hand I always wondered, how they went about the whole contraception-thing in Thedas. For normal townsfolk something like sheepskin-condoms (or in this case, prepared nug skins ^^) seemed logical but they would not distribute these things to people in the circle of magi would they? But mages would probably have potions for that kind of use too. On the other hand there are storys of mages who get pregnant, their baby being taken away right after birth. The idea of having a spell to paralize the Uterus (a healer would probably know what this is and how it works) and prevent unwanted pregnancies seemed quite interesting too and within the realm of possibilities. Taking the magic suppressing characteristics of a templar into the equation just seemed like a funny surprise to me._

_And as I just can't see Cullen support the idea of abortion or want to see a child of his grow up a bastard (the taking away-thing probably not done anymore after the reformations the Inquisition initiated) I just had to have the honourable man propose marriage. :D_

_So anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I did neither bore you to death on the way nor made the ending too rushed all in all.  
><em>


	13. Wedding

_So, I'm not really up for a sequel right now, but there are some snippets that pop into my head now and then and I'd like to share. I will just put them in here, as they are basically follow-ups to the main story. Hope you enjoy._

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><p>"So, they are marrying now?" Varric raised one eyebrow in bewilderment. "Would not have taken Curly for someone who moved that fast."<p>

The Bull grinned at him knowingly. "I hear there may have been certain circumstances to accelerate things."

The dwarf fought not to let his mouth stand agape. "With them? That's hard to believe."

"Imagine my surprise. I'm just glad it is not Adaar and me. Nothing wrong with marrying her, not that I see the sense in that, but raising kids? I'd screw that up for sure." The Bull shook his head. Grown up under the Qun he had never known parents, the thought of caring for a child was almost more frightening than demons and bloodmages.

"Rather just screw me, huh?" Adaar had shown up behind her lover and bent down to kiss his cheek. He grinned rather happily. "That I can do."

Varric rolled his eyes. "Seriously. There are still details I can go without and gladly so. But, are we even invited? I have not attended many wedding ceremonies. The one Hawke probably planned somehow blew up along with the chantry."

"Ouch. Let's hope for a better outcome here." Adaar winced, thinking of the events in Kirkwall. But Varric had a point, supposedly they would have to attend the humans wedding. After all they were their friends and working together quite closely.

"Do you think I'd have to wear a dress?" The Qunari-Woman glanced about her figure with a quizzical expression. "The seamstresses will love the challenge surely."

The Bulls grin grew even broader. "Now that would be a sight to behold. Maybe some tight bodice, some clasps and straps and buckles."

"A bit of lace and feathers." Varric added, enjoying the faint look of horror on the Inquisitors face.

The former mercenary had never worn a dress in her life. More suited to leather jerkin, breeches and heavy plate to top it off she had managed to avoid prancing around in too feminine a finery until now. Even at the orlesian ball she had attended she wore some inquisition-uniform that suited her better.

"I guess I could wear a dress for once." She mused, even if it was only for her lovers benefit who seemed to like the idea. Or probably it was just him imagining her tightly strapped into a corset.

The groom and his mage had wished for a rather small ceremony. But Josephine had taken things into her own hands. In the end it was decided, that the Commander of the Skyholds forces could not just be married off in secret. At least they could reduce the number of attending nobles and ambassadors to a minimum. Many an admirer of the fair haired man was probably crying themselves to sleep that night. But never has one seen a sight more impressive, than the Inquisitor and her Bull spinning through the ballroom, Adaars dress swinging with the music.

The bridal couple was quite relieved, because the spectacle diverted some of the attention they received. And as they settled into bed later, finally alone, there was only one thought left, mouthed by the brides tender lips. "Did you see those frills?"


	14. Possession

Another fitful dream. That handsome face distorted in agony. She laid a cool kiss on his brow and stroked his hair. Humming softly she gazed at his eyes darting back and forth behind closed lids. How seldom he slept peacefully, his past still haunting him despite all his attempts to disconnect from everything that tethered him to it.

Some things we can not leave behind and after all, was she not a remnant of his past too? Even if it was not one well remembered. She sighed relieved when he fell back into deeper slumber, the silent struggle against demons unknown abating.

_Demons._ Asha touched the puckered skin around her right eye. The ancient bloodmage that had attacked her mind had tried to twist her, to control her. How close had she been to losing everything that she was. Could he have lured a demon into her if she had not regained control? Control of just one hand, for just one blast of lightning making her useless as a toy against the others.

When he woke to the soft rays of light falling through the high window she asked him: "If I'd become an abomination, would you strike me down?"

The Commander, the former templar, the man that had just taken a first glance at a new morning was lost for words. How could she ask him that?

His voice was shaky as he envisioned what she had brought up. "I ..no .. Maker please. I do not want to think about that." Those beautiful brown eyes were begging her to let the issue be, but gently she put her hand up to his cheek. "I need to know you would."

"You'd want me to kill you? Why?" His pained expression was heartbreaking, but could he not see her fear?

"If ever I should become a danger to you I do not want you to falter nor to hesitate. That attempt at possession by bloodmagic has shown me just how dangerously close we are to the abyss at times." The empty gaze of her blind eye was piercing through him, the good left one swimming with emotion.

"For I would be dead already, so you would have to save yourself. Tell me you would do it." She pleaded.

"I would." So solemn and sincere was his voice. "I'd ... stop .. whatever took your face to harm another. But it won't happen. Never will."

In strong and caring arms she was caught, a tight embrace reminding her she was alive and well. Around her, warm skin, breath and musky smell of the man she'd vowed to love forever.

Surrendering to being possessed by him held no fear and so she yielded to his touch.


	15. Examination

The mage looked down, intently examining herself. She poked with her finger, squeezed a little and screwed up her face in an expression of scepticism.

She was sitting at the edge of her bed, wearing only a nightshift. It was already some time into the day, but as no one had requested her service that day she had indulged herself with a long night of sleep. She had been so tired lately.

The changes in her body gave her pause. She had already begun showing and was none to happy about her robes getting a little tight in the midsection. She would have to have some alterations made or wear something else entirely. No, that was unthinkable, she was a mage, the robes were as much a part of her as her staff or the sparks of lightning that danced upon her fingertips when she got exited. And she liked the feathery shoulders. She did not guess feathery shoulders were a usual part of maternity-clothing.

The man had entered the bedroom unseen and stood in the doorway, pulling up a corner of his mouth in a lopsided grin. Lost in her musings she did not

"What are you doing love? Pray tell?" He finally said, startling her. When she recognized who had spoken the mage started to pout.

"Promise you won't laugh?" She carefully inquired. A smile already graced the Commanders face, but he nodded and sat down beside her. The matress indented under the weight of his body, the full armour gleaming serenely in the rays of the midday sun.

"I promise to do my best." He told her and it sounded sincere enough.

The mage looked into his gold flecked eyes, squinting slightly. It would not really do to feel embarrassed about asking him such a thing. After all he was her husband. Something that still was hard to realize, when she thought back to their first meeting. Everything that followed was just too weird. And yet here he was, looking at her quizzically, waiting for a question she thought foolish.

"Did they .. grow?" She blurted out.

"They? What?" Cullen was momentarily taken aback. Her fingers indicated what she meant quite clearly. The mage was looking down at her breasts, poking them with indignation.

"Those." She pulled up one eyebrow. "I knew I was slowly getting too fat for my robes, but this is ridiculous."

The Commander did a recommendable job at suppressing his mirth. Instead he had pulled off his gloves and took her hand into his.

"First thing, you don't get fat. You know that as well as I and even if it was so, you'd still be as beautiful and dear to me as you are now." He kissed the hand that rested in his palm and glanced at her with a look as reassuring as he could manage.

In her thin chemise she truly was quite ravishing, the garment clinging to her body. How could she not see that the soft curves of her body were just at all the right places? The increasing roundness of her belly was not unflattering in the least. After all, it was his child she was carrying.

His loving gaze softened her annoyance about her changing appearance.

"Secondly, I am not sure. Do they now?" His grin was back and had taken on a quite mischievous quality.

"Uh hu." She pulled at a crease of her shift, the shape of the breast underneath making a distinct impression. "Look, I almost can't wear this anymore, it get's tight in the breast-area."

It was hard to believe she should be oblivious to the way her nipples showed through the thin garment. Yet she still seemed miffed about her clothes not fitting properly anymore.

The Commander tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"You probably should take it off then." He had initially planned to take her for dinner. But just taking her now seemed quite preferable.

"I am still not sure, there has been a .. considerable growth, but I shall investigate the matter with my full attention." And being committed to duty he examined quite thoroughly.


	16. Feeling Sparks 1

_As the story basically just continues with a new adventure, but the same characters and so on I decided I won't open a new document but continue here. I hope that is ok for everyone still reading. ;)_

_I will probably not update just as frequently as I did with the first part of the story, but I hope you will bear with me and that you can still enjoy these machinations of my mind._

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><p>Wintersend came and went at the Skyhold. Warm fires were crackling in braziers and stoves and the Keep was well supplied with food and wood. Winter in the Frostback-Mountains was usually hard and unforgiving. The region was prone to storms and heavy snowfall, but the inhabitants of the Inquisitions headquarters had nothing to fear from the weather.<p>

It was easy to grow accustomed to the warmth of the halls, the lights and people milling about. Adaar had relished the time at the Keep, just being with comrades and her lover. During winter they had mostly kept in the confines of the Fortress, not wanting to risk too much soldiers or horses in the cold. As days grew longer and the trees in the Keeps gardens began to sprout green again the Inquisitor got more and more restless.

Sitting in front of the great halls fireplace beside Varric she stretched like a cat after a nap. Her long legs were clad in leather breeches and the sturdy boots scraped over the floor as she did so. Her arms flung out above her head she rolled her shoulders and groaned.

„I feel like I lazed about the whole cold season." She cracked her neck while Varric winced.

„You have been sparring with Bull every other day." The dwarf pointed out. It was not as if Adaar had been unproductive during the winter. She had done her part in training up troops and her and the Iron Bulls matches in the courtyard had been observed in awe by many.

Varric had even managed to make some coin by taking bets on the outcome of the matches.

The Inquisitor was surely up to remarkable fighting form, regular meals, rest and the rigorous training had done her good. There had been a few outings too, but apparently bandits and hungry wolves in the neighboring areas had not been enough of a challenge for the warrior.

„Had sparred with some of our soldiers too." Adaar grinned. „Until none of them showed up anymore. Cowards."

Varric shook his head smiling. „You battered some of those poor lads quite badly."

„Pah. Maybe if they were in better form. Commander says I go to hard on them. But it's no fun if they can't take a proper beating." The Inquisitor felt a bit like sulking. Truly the soldiers were doing quite splendidly, much work had gone into their training. But no one could stand up to her just like the Iron Bull. It was much more fun sparring with him, in the courtyard as well as in a more private setting.

„Curly says he would feel better if you did not overexert Sparklehands too." Varric said in a low voice. The complaint would not sit good with Adaar at all. Predictably she raised one eyebrow at the comment.

„Can that man stop worrying?" She sighed exasperated. „Really she is working her ass off in the infirmary and **I** won't be the one to tell her not to. When I take her to throw some lightning at us for practise it can hardly be called work at all. She's enjoying that."

„You are enjoying it." The dwarf smiled and Adaar gave him a roguish grin.

„That too. Hard to dodge those attacks. Not being allowed to tackle her takes away from the fun a bit."

Varric just shook his head. He knew the Inquisitor would not endanger her companions in any way, but with their new mage pregnant she would soon have to search for a replacement on her customary three people escort.

„Have you decided whether to call on Vivienne or Dorian? Vivienne would be closer I guess." Varric tried to broach the subject.

„She would, and she's an outstanding mage. I know." The crease between Adaars eyebrows deepened. „Truth is I can hardly stand her. Her arguments are sound and she is intelligent and arrghh .. She lords it over me in a way that I feel like a little girl in a schoolroom."

„Quite the feat with you being so much taller than the average schoolgirl." Varric could see why Adaar would be reluctant to invite the imposing knight enchanter back to the Keep.

„Schoolgirl, now there's a thought." Sometimes the Inquisitor was just too easily distracted, especially when the subject was of a more unpleasant nature and the dwarf rolled his eyes at her.

„A thought you'd better keep for yourself for now. Though I'm sure the Bull would like to hear about it later."

Adaar laughed. „Dorian has written some letters in the past month. Seems he made progress in Tevinter, though things are still going slow. However he already agreed to visit us. Expecting him in the next couple of weeks actually."

Varric was surprised. He knew the Inquisitor had missed her friend, who had gone to Tevinter to take change there into his own hands. He had obviously been inspired by Adaars feats during the Corypheus-crisis and wanted to make his own imprint on society. Having him back at the Keep was really something to look forward too. The mans charme was as refined as his skills, making him a great addition to the team.

„So you got that already covered. I must admit I'm impressed." He said.

„I know, I know, so unlikely you could not put it in a book." The Inquisitors smile was almost bashful. „Josephine may have pressed me about the matter. Had I not moved first Vivienne would be standing on our doorstep by now."

Varric laughed. „Hehe, Ruffles **is** good. Impressive."

„Oh yes, she knows my love for letters and paperwork and the like. Glad to have her anyway."

Adaar was proud to have found a place in the world for herself, surrounded by friends that were not only skillful in what they did but determined and idealistic.

Sometimes she really thought they were making Thedas a better place little by little. A good feeling, one that she had missed as a mercenary. Her parents had fled the opressive society of the Qun and now she was here to fight opression where it presented itself to her. She would not think it was what her parents had imagined for her, but who could have imagined that. Despite the constant danger when fighting foes everywhere from Orlais to the eastcoast of Ferelden and sometimes even beyond, it was a good life and one she very much enjoyed.

After the slow going during the cold season she had planned a longer trip to the Korcari Wilds in southern Ferelden. Queen Anora herself had requested the Inquisitions help as there were some unsettling news about increasing darkspawn-activity in the area.

At the beginning of the fifth blight the Korcari Wilds had been one of the first regions to be invaded by darkspawn and after the defeat of the Kings army at Ostagar it had soon spread through the whole south before the Grey Wardens were able to stop the archdemon in the capital Denerim itself.

The fear of repetition of these events was still fresh enough even ten years later and the Grey Wardens had taken some bad blows in the past, diminishing their numbers in the south.

Though the fight against darkspawn was not something Adaar really looked forward to, as the risk of infection was always present when doing so she knew the Inquisition was needed there. The Keeps mages had worked hard to supply them with a number of potions that would presumely give some additional protection against the taint. She just hoped it would work for common soldiers and her friends alike.

A footman came running into the great hall, last remnants of snow still on his boots. While he catched his breath under Adaars expecting gaze the slush soaked the carpet.

„Visitors," He gasped. „They demand to see the Inquisitor."

The very same shook her head in disbelief. That young man had nearly popped a vein trying to convey so simple a message. If her people were still so easy to rouse a more trying training seemed to be in order.

„If you have quite catched your breath, pray tell me who it is." Adaar said. For all the commotion she would take it the Queen of Antiva had graced them with her presence.

The answer was just a little less extravagant but not entirely surprising. She waved the wide eyed man away, cursing her luck, that had brought these people here now. She did not expect Dorian so soon and would not like to leave the Skyhold until he arrived too.

Adaar quickly sent for some men to clear a room for the arrivals and went out into the courtyard, still specked with remnants of the last snows. A cold wind was blowing, carrying sweet fragrances of spring from the gardens.

The Inquisitor had no time to sample these smells, as she hurried to the gate. Her arrival was eagerly anticipated by her guests and a small group of soldiers and templars that stood by pensively, not sure if they were to be needed here.

When she shouldered through the bystanders Adaar saw her Commander stand in front of the two who had arrived so unexpectedly and unannounced. When he caught her eye she could clearly see his relief at her sight.

„Inquisitor," he said, standing stiffly at attention. „the Grey Wardens Neria Surana and Alistair..." Here he seemed to stumble a bit, deciding to forgo the unknown last name. „..And Alistair wish to request the help of the Inquisitons forces and yours specifically."

Adaar nodded. „Stand at ease Commander, no need to strain yourself. I think he calls himself Surana too .. can hardly walk around announcing he's a Theirin, heh."

She smiled, patting her advisor on his armoured arm and strolled over to the Wardens.

Neria Surana looked splendid in a forest green robe that was trimmed with golden thread. Surely some powerful spells were woven into that piece of garment. Her staff, residing proudly on her back was a fine piece of black ironbark and the woman herself radiated power and superiority. She was glaring at Commander and templars alike. Charming.

Her companion seemed of an easier mind. When Adaar had last seen him, he had worn some ragtag armour, slightly too big chainmail and a far more weary look. His imprisonment at Weisshaupt had still weighted on him then, now he was well groomed and looked around the courtyard amiably in a fine set of Grey Warden armour, a griffin-shield on his back.

The angry lines in Nerias face smoothed out when she turned her gaze at Adaar. „Inquisitor, you have done us a great service in Weisshaupt." She said and inclined her head in a respectful manner.

„Everything we've done was done for Thedas and a good friend of mine. You needn't thank me." The Qunari waved the offered compliment off. „You request our help?" She asked and crossed her arms in front of her. It was not that Adaar did not like the mage, but she seemed awfully bristly towards some of her men. She knew some mages were inclined to be suspicious towards every templar, but in the ranks of the Inquisition most got along quite well after some time of acclimatisation. She only hoped she would not have to rescue any of her followers from being burned to a crisp.

Neria sighed and nodded. „We could use it. The Grey Wardens in the south have still not quite recovered as you probably know. We suspect they will be needed urgently soon and it would be better to have more of us."

Adaar narrowed her eyes. „I hope you do not want to recruit here, we can not easily spare the men. Though we plan on sending troups to the Korcari Wilds ourselves. If anyone gets tainted you can as well have them."

The mage snorted and shook her head. „No, no recruiting at the moment. No conscripting either. Our purpose is of a more personal nature."

Intrigued the Inquisitor led the two Wardens to the war room. The crowd that had gathered to catch a glimpse of Fereldens Hero was dispersed and the Commander followed reluctantly. When Adaar decided to help the Wardens there was a good chance that his soldiers would be needed, she would want him there to discuss this.

When everyone had assembled around the map table, including spymaster and ambassador, Neria began to explain what they were trying to achieve. Some of it Adaar had heard before, when Warden Alistair had shared some of his knowledge with her companions on the road.

The Wardens, tainted through the ritual that made them immune to the darkspawns corruption payed a heavy price for that. The taint slowly killed them, reducing their lifespan considerably. It was not a happy prospect to look to and Neria and Alistair had put it into their heads to find a cure.

They would not only save themselves from a premature death, but have less qualms about recruiting new wardens. With the diminished numbers of fighters the Wardens now had it would also be fortunate if these were able to fight alongside their comrades for longer. And it had been done before. There had been one Warden, who was cured of the darkspawns taint and furthermore totally immune to it. If that immunity could be spread to other fighters everywhere, normal soldiers, it would perhaps even be unnecessary to have Grey Wardens at all. Everyone could fight them without another risk than the ordinary of being stabbed or crushed by an ogre.

The immune mage in question had died by Adaars own hands when she attacked her back in Haven. But it was of no use to mourn that, as for all the times the other Wardens had questioned her she could not give any explanation as to her immunity and it could not be replicated.

Neria wanted to visit an old aquaintance of hers, who had apparently sent her a letter about some breakthrough in his research. She did talk of that man with much spite, but acknowledged that he may indeed prove necessary to their plan.

That Avernus was obviously a bloodmage, that had lately holed up somewhere in southern Ferelden. Warden Surana wanted to find him, but did not know his exact location. Suspicious by nature she had taken some of his blood when she had last left him and Adaar had templars. Templars that were not directly bound to the chantry but to the Inquisition.

„You want my templars?" Adaar raised an eyebrow.

„Not all of them, Maker preserve me, but one or two would suffice." The Warden sighed in exasperation. „And I would very much like you to accompany us. Bring who you like, I suspect there will be enough fighting for everyone."

„I just hope there's not demons again. Avernus' habits of welcoming guests are so out of fashion." Alistair shrugged.

„You have a templar there, wouldn't he do?" The Inquisitor pointed a finger at Alistair. The man grinned at the rude gesture and shrugged.

„Have never had much practice at that whole mage hunting thing. When I was recruited for the Grey Wardens I was just a recruit. Or maybe I just slept during the classes on Phylactery-handling, but I guess I could learn."

„I could show Warden Alistair the basics on .. 'Phylactery-handling' as he put it so apt." Commander Cullen took a step forward. He had been a templar long enough and though no mage hunter of his own had already had some practice in finding one with the use of a Phylactery.

„You could? Splendid. I'll try not to fall asleep during the lecture this time." Alistair winked.

„Very good." The commanders face did not show amusement. Preparation would mean meditating and exercise in concentration. He was not so sure the Warden would apply the necessary single mindedness to this kind of training, though he heard him profess silently towards Neria Surana, that he would sure be able to find some fine cheese only by utilising his sense of smell.

The Inquisitor had Leliana send out some spys into the area Neria indicated on the map. Somewhere around there she suspected their wayward bloodmage. It would be nice to know about possible darkspawn-activity and the like beforehand.

Their own departure would wait until Alistair would feel sufficiently skilled in hunting mages and until the expected arrival of Dorian Pavus from Tevinter. Adaar was not willing to set out without her trusted friend at her back. Having the Iron Bull and Varric with her was one thing, but travelling with a mage as skilled and dangerous as Neria she did not like the thought of not having one of her own to back her up.

Though it was somehow unlikely that the Warden would suddenly start throwing fireballs at her, she had already seen wardens overtaken by other beings by means of the taint. If someone would turn her against her friends she would certainly wreak havoc.


	17. Feeling Sparks 2

The Hero of Ferelden and Alistair soon decided to depart to the room Adaar had to have prepared for them earlier. They had free admission to the Keep, but Lelianas subordinates had eyes everywhere. They would not go about unchecked, even though Adaar did not think they would act untoward in any manner.

The Inquisitor herself went into the tavern to search for the Iron Bull and some dinner. Both she found and soon Sera and Varric joined the merry group. The Commander had gone back to his desk, apparently rating paperwork above the need to eat. He had just settled down and reached for one of the reports that needed checking when a tentative knock on his door got his attention.

Not waiting for an invitation his visitor threw open the door, stumbling in backwards. She carried a tray laden with food.

„No need to help me, I got this." She exclaimed, precariously balancing her burden, trying to close the door with one foot.

„Makers breath," Cullen was at her side in a heartbeat and set the tray down on his desk. „that was a close one."

Asha laughed. „Not at all. I just thought if I don't get you dinner you'll likely starve in here."

„You did not wait for me to tell you to come in. I could have been in a meeting." He suggested, indicating the empty room in front of his desk with one hand.

„Nu uh, I was eavesdropping. Just the rustle of paper and you sighing the way you always do when there are reports to complete." The mage shrugged and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. The Commander sighed once more. She did know him well by now, but it was not only the paperwork occupying his thoughts.

When they cleared the desk and sat down to eat he decided to share a bit of his worries with the woman he had married in quite a haste but loved dearly.

„Your friend Alistair is here." He began, seeing the mages face light up. „And he was in the company of the Hero of Ferelden."

Asha gasped. „Oh. I did not notice what all the commotion was about. Had been up to my elbows in elfroot at the time. We seem to have so much of that stuff, one could think Adaar uprooted half the supply in Thedas. So Neria is here?" She was still intimidated by the more powerful mage, but it was worse that she knew that the relationship between Neria and Cullen was quite a difficult one.

„She is. However I do not think she will set me on fire in the Keep directly under Adaars nose. They were asking for help." He smirked a bit and Asha smiled.

„Maybe just your pants, while you are not looking. And not wearing them, hopefully." She winked.

„Now that sounds like something Sera would do." He took a careful look around in hopes of not seeing even a glimpse of the elven archer.

„Right. But not me .. never." Her words lacked conviction and incited a doubtful glance of her lover.

„Never." Both grinned and Cullen felt a bit of relief. He was surely still not on Nerias good side, but it was indeed unlikely she would do anything about her obvious animosity.

„Anyway it's not just you. She always wanted to be free of the circle, of the templars." Asha shrugged. She had not really been a friend of Neria back in Fereldens circle tower, but everyone had known her. The warden mage had always been like a beacon of light with a face like porcelain, perfect lips, perfect blonde hair, perfect bottlegreen eyes and a perfectly clear disdain of templars.

„You did not?" He asked, not having delved to deeply into that topic in the past.

„I had never such a fierce hunger for freedom I guess. Studying in peace and quiet, getting better at my magic and well .. a certain obedience towards authorities seemed to be a better way to get a chance to set foot outside some day. My talents always lay with electricity I guess, but I took up healing for a better chance at a position at some court." She shrugged.

„Yet you turned them down when they offered you that position in Highever."

The mage gave him a curious glance at that comment. „You know that?"

„I remember the argument between Knight-Commander Greagor and the First Enchanter quite vividly." He said. „Some mage apparently refused a promising position and they had to find someone else who seemed suited."

„You mean, someone who seemed properly subdued." A wry grin played around Ashas lips. By now he was pretty curious as to her reasons. „Why did you turn them down?"

„By that time I did not want to leave. I had just made it to enchanter and anyway it was a nice tower, I was enjoying the view."

„I did not know you appreciated the outlook over Lake Calenhad so much." His raised eyebrow indicated his disbelief regarding that statement.

„Was never talking about the bloody lake." The mage laughed and bit into a piece of bread with gusto.

„So you were what? Ogling the templars?" Her good mood was infectuous and he decided to play along.

Mouth still considerably full of bread she mumbled out: „Just the one."

She swallowed the bite and added: „And don't you dare ask who that might have been."

Cullen nodded with a sense of understanding. „I would not have thought. But I understand the attraction. The Knight-Commander had that grizzled appeal of an older man. I guess his greying temples had you swooning." He ducked in time to avoid the piece of bread thrown into his direction. He could not evade the mage that flung herself right after, arms encircling his neck.

„So you do have a sense of humour." She smiled, kissing him.

„I would never admit to it." He winked. „Just don't tell the others or they might try to test me in that regard. Maker knows I have been subject to their teasing often enough as it is."

They finished their meal and Asha carried out the empty tray while the Commander returned to his duties. She was glad to see him smiling, when his first love who had come to abhor him so was visiting the Keep. She knew quite well, how wistful a young Cullen had gazed at Neria Surana as she roamed the circles corridors. Mostly because her own expression of silent longing might have mirrored his as she watched him.

Later that day Alistair came to the Commanders office, asking to begin the training. Sitting around doing nothing was not of much appeal to the warden who was used to roaming the country, fighting darkspawn everywhere he could. His disappointment was evident as he was instructed to sit very still and meditate. However he still remembered some of these exercises from his early templar training and endured. Every groan, rolling of shoulders or opened eye was observed by a Commander who managed to look at him very disapprovingly everytime he checked if he was still under supervision.

„Can we not just try a more practical approach?" Alistair finally ventured.

„We may. But I doubt you will get a useful reading on Avernus from here or any at all. The distance should be too great." The Commander had seen promise in his student, even though Alistair had been fidgeting a bit too much during the meditation.

„We could just try with one of the mages at the Keep." The warden proposed. Cullen felt a stab and unconsciously reached for the small pendant that rested upon his chest.

„We do not store Phylacteries for the Keeps mages normally." He began, pondering if he should let the warden practise with the one Phylactery he had in his possession. Asha had given it to him, a token of her trust, a reminder of her love. Laying it into the hands of another person seemed wrong. But she liked the warden, probably she would have no objection.

„You say 'normally'. So there is one. I think I remember." Alistair looked at the other mans contemplative expression. „You had found us in the deep roads using Ashas blood. I would guess you have it still. I understand if you do not want me to practise using that."

„I will ask her first." Cullen decided. „Tomorrow she will likely lead you on a merry chase around the Keep. Today I would recommend to keep on meditating using the techniques I showed you."

Alistairs face crunched up. „Yes, more meditation, great. Did I hear that right, you married Asha?"

The Commander nodded. „I did. Why do you ask?"

„I guess congratulations are in order. She seemed quite besotted with you. I just would not have thought there'd be a wedding that fast. One could think you got her pregnant or something." The grin froze on Alistairs face as the other man did not share his merryment about the attempted joke. „Oh. You did."

Cullens head sank into his hand. Why did people always want to discuss that. He did not regret anything about his decisions regarding Asha. He had planned to propose anyway, even if he had wanted to wait a little longer to do so.

Alistair had the good sense to excuse himself and do some sightseeing around the Keep. The stables almost felt like home and reminded him a bit of his childhood in Redcliffe Castle. There Neria found him. Together they sat in the hayloft and admired the formidable beasts stablemaster Dennet was tending to. The Dracolisk Adaar usually rode stood out among the horses, but there were some magnificent harts too. Neria decided to ask the Inquisitor for one of them to carry her southwards when they would go. Though she had lived in an alienage before being brought to the circle she felt a kind of kinship to the mighty creatures that roamed the ancient woods of the elven race.

The horses were looking great too. The stablehands were obviously doing an admirable job tending to them. The smell of hay and living creatures and the warmth of the stables was comforting and the elf had not felt that content in a very long time. Alistairs arm around her, his heartbeat beneath her pointed ear she drowsed until he woke her for supper with a tender kiss.

They supped in the great hall with the Inquisitor and her aquaintances. Neria had missed the easy cameraderie that a group of trained warriors and soldiers could establish at the dining table. The last time she had been in such company was while she had been Warden Commander in Amaranthine. She knew her second Nathaniel was still alive, though the trouble with the Wardens in the South had affected him too. They had all answered to the orlesian Warden Commander Clarel during the Corypheus-crisis but he had been in the field with a handful of other wardens, not directly participating in the summoning of demons. Neria was thankful for that, as he would probably have been one of those sacrificed for the dark magic those other wardens wove.

Her memories of the time in Amaranthine were not untainted. There had been many a tough fight and serious unpleasantries, but there were good times too. Sitting together with an assembly of soldiers, drinking, eating and watching the antics of those more inclined to jokes and pranks at the table had always been enjoyable.

She would never have engaged in such activities, but watching Oghren stumble into the hall, missing his pants and mumbling incoherently about schleets or having Anders zap Nathaniel with lightning under the table was amusing to watch. Not that she would have laughed out loud. Neria was always good at containing her mirth to herself.

The booming voice of the Bull was telling some daring tale from his mercenary days to the laughter of his peers. Adaar sat beside him, already she seemed to be a bit in her cups, but held up with a broad grin on her face. Neria tried to ignore the Inquisitors hand that apparently patted the big mans thigh under the table.

„Well, they are having fun." Alistair remarked and smiled at her. „Reminds me of some of the wardens."

Neria nodded and sighed wistfully. „Me too."

When Asha appeared belatedly and took the free place beside the Commander the wardens eyes went wide. „Is she?" She wispered throwing Alistair an inquiring glance.

„Apparently. You could congratulate. You were aquaintances in the circle, were you not?"

Alistair rubbed a hand over his wifes back, while she started scowling.

„We were not that close. Makers breath, who would have thought. She was always so .." Her voice was very low while she stumbled over her words, trying not to be too rude.

„Well behaved?" Alistair took a guess.

„Uptight. But then again, I did just see her with her nose in her books all the time. What do I know." Fereldens hero shrugged and continued her supper in silence. Somehow it irked her, that the other mage seemed so relaxed and happy with her circumstances. Asha was chatting idly with her peers at the table, occasionally throwing her a glance and a friendly smile. Her being so nice made everything even worse. Neria felt again that stab to her heart, that painful reminder that a family was probably the one thing she could never give to Alistair.

Days passed by, Dorian still not appearing. Alistair had gotten quite skilled at finding Asha, who hid in various places around the Keep to help with his training. Being chased around was quite preferable to grinding herbs all day, mixing potions who sometimes stank so hideously that she was sure to throw up again. Cullen had left the Keep for an assignment in Caer Bronach after it became obvious, that the warden would not need further instructions on the basics of mage hunting. The assistence of Asha and continued meditation and practise would see him well prepared for the search on Avernus.

The Commander felt the absence of the pendant he had to leave in the other mans hands as a dull unease. But his beloved would not leave the Keep anyway and would keep the Phylactery safe herself until he returned, so he knew he needn't worry. He touched the wedding ring hidden by his glove with the fingers of his other hand. Something of hers would ride with him and anyway, he had been gone on errands before, this one too would not last long.

The fortress Caer Bronach had been conquered and liberated from bandits by Adaar and was prospering since. Repairs and improvements on the battlements had been made by the Inquisitions forces and the village of crestwood lay well protected in its shadow. But the winter had been long and hard and the soldiers had been left alone with their Captains for quite some time. If Adaar would not come herself it was just appropriate she would send the Commander to inspect the state of the keep, see to the provisions and provide inspiration to the soldiers. There were also some minor lords who requested to be seen to personally by the Inquisitions leadership. Apart from the paperwork that was the part of the journey Cullen dreaded the most.

In the Keep Adaar sat with Josephine, drinking some antivan wine the ambassador had produced from somewhere. Being able to sit and talk, with no dark shadow looming over them in the immediate future was nice and the two of them had not had so much opportunity for informal meetings in the past.

„I think I should have gone to Caer Bronach too, maybe." Josephine twisted the stem of her glass between her fingers.

„Because of the nobles? Do you fear the Commander will make a mull of it?" Adaar grinned, glad the tedious affair had not fallen into her own hands.

„I, no, I mean I'm sure he will do fine." The diplomat stumbled over her words.

„Just not as fine as you." The Inquisitor winked. Josephine was very good and surely would have been a proper choice for dealing with the local nobles around Crestwood, but there were still other ambassadors at the Keep and some minor nobles who went to inspect the Skyhold themselves, now that the weather was warmer. The passes up into the mountains had cleared well enough to welcome a steady stream of visitors and Josephine could not easily be spared.

The Inquisitions ambassador nodded. „But on the other hand I would not have liked to oversee the workings at the Fortress. And dealing with the soldiers themselves is sometimes .. tedious."

Adaar leered at her with mischief and waggled her brows. „Just because they keep looking at your assets."

Josephine sputtered. „My assets are none of their business. Or yours for the matter. Better keep to those of your Bull please." That earned her a good natured laugh of the Inquisitor who threw up her hands in a placating manner. „I will behave. I promise."

„I wonder if those noblewomen will behave though." Josephine mused. „I still remember the Empresses ball quite vividly."

„I'm sure they will keep their hands off the Commanders behind this time." Adaar winked. „He carries that wedding ring like a shield."

Talking to Josephine was always a joy and when Adaar had left her to her duties she felt the warm glow of wine and good company inside. She wondered if the two wardens would change their plans and go alone if she would not soon agree to accompany them. They had waited for some time now and however accomodating the Skyhold was, their purpose was clear and with the Calling looming in their future the two of them would surely want to move on soon.

The Inquisitor had no idea what other unpleasant sideeffects the wardens taint might have, but an early death through the spreading corruption seemed bad enough. As they would travel in the same direction anyway she was absolutely willing to oblige the two. Especially since they had helped with their problems regarding the wardens in Anderfels.

She had decided to send a contingent of soldiers ahead to the Korcari Wilds to make camp there and send out some scouts. The outpost would be well supplied with the potions the mages had produced so far, that would help to ward against the taint. Hopefully it would be enough. Having a cure would be preferable, but here she would still have to rely on Alistair and Neria to succeed on their quest.

True to Adaars assumptions Neria was growing restless. The Inquisitors insistence in waiting for some Tevinter mage to accompany her group did make no sense to her and any delay in their departure was wholly undesirable.

The scorched trainingdummies in the Keeps courtyard made a formidable testament on how undesirable Neria found the situation. However she was not inclined to lead Alistair alone into a probably darkspawn infested region. He was an excellent fighter and she had no reason to doubt her own abilities, but just the two of them could be easily overwhelmed when lack of sleep and an unpredictable number of foes awaited. The other problem was Avernus. Though the mage had seemed meek enough when they last left him and had promised to be as helpful as he could she did not trust him in the least. There was a good chance he had only called on them as a ruse, maybe to lure them into some kind of trap. No, she planned on being prepared and if that meant waiting in that maker damned Keep for a couple of days longer she would do so.

Another training dummy went up into flames when she unleashed her penned up anger and unease on it.

The sudden voice behind her betrayed only amusement. „Well, sure glad that was not me."

She turned with a halfsmile and pointed a finger at Alistair who had so unexpectedly disrupted her not quite training. „You know it could as well be, dear. Don't you have more training to do?"

„No." He grinned and shrugged emptyhanded. „Asha has taken her amulet and gone to do some more work on those potions the Inquisitor requested. She thinks I'm prepared well enough anyway. Though I think she saw me raiding the pantry for cheese and had pity. Aren't you hungry?"

Indeed she was and both wardens went to the tavern for some dinner. They could have eaten with the rest of the soldiers, but Neria felt better if she avoided the templars among them. She still had difficulties to relax in the presence of them, even though she knew no one would dare lay a hand on her. The food was fine and plentyful, something the wardens highly appreciated.

Neria did complain a bit about the delay and why having her with them should not fulfill all the need regarding mages Adaar should have, but as always Alistair was able to placate her. How he did it she did not know, but his presence alone grounded her and made her content. After all the years they had spent together in body or at least soul when duties did part them, she felt the love between them as strong as ever. Their bond was something not only the terror and struggle during the Blight had forged. The bristly mage had found her soulmate in the good natured man with his easy humour and sometimes biting sarcasm. She especially appreciated that he seemed to have cultivated the latter in the past years.

In his company she felt at home and in his arms she rested easy, even if the dreams of darkspawn and corruption had grown worse these days. It was not the calling and it was not as bad as during the Blight, no archdemons appearing just yet, but it was disconcerting.

Alistairs loving gaze on her she fell asleep that night, bedsheet only insignificantly scorched and woke the following day knowing she had him all to herself. His training concluded for the time being they were free to spar or enjoy the silence of the Keeps gardens.

The man Blackwall had approached Alistair sometime during the day and asked to be conscripted. It had been some time since someone had wanted to join the wardens on his own accord and appealed to them thus. Neria prevented Alistair from admitting they had the ingredients necessary to the task and bid him to wait with a glance. There was no need to rush things before they knew what they would find in the Wilds. Why put a man through a ritual that might as well kill him, if they were possibly only a few months away from finding a better solution.

At least the promise to have him join their ranks in the near future mollified the man. He seemed like a reliable fighter at least and Neria planned on confronting Adaar about the matter.

Another thing that occupied the residents minds was the approaching departure of Cassandra, who would finally take up her place on the sunburst throne. The Inquisitor had been at her side the past days, endlessly discussing and perhaps reminiscing. The Qunari was obviously loath to part with her friend, but Cassandra was right in saying she had shirked her duties to the chantry long enough. So almost everyone was in some state of unrest and decampment. One could not deny the feeling, that it would soon be a good deal quieter around the Skyhold.


	18. Feeling Sparks 3

When she felt wetness running down her legs she knew it was over. Standing in the infirmary-tent in the courtyard the dark spot on her robes expanding the mages tears ran freely and hot down her cheeks. Her world was coming apart at the seams. It was too soon.

Other healers noticed. They ushered the woman to a secluded chamber and called for the midwife who arrived wearing her suitcase and a grave expression. The pain began soon after.

They called the templars and two of them stood by the mages side. She knew them and it was alright, the men were gentle about draining her power. Her magic was subdued to their best ability without hurting her the more. The midwife and her assistent worked in unison, their faces grim whenever they averted their gaze from the labouring woman. It was too soo.

Labour lasted for hours, dusk settled and dawn came and still the mage was panting, screaming on her bed of sweatstained linens. The guards who stood by, suppressing the magical abilities she had no great control over in her anguish, had changed more than once. Though she felt weak the mage held on and finally she beheld the small frame of the child she had born. It was too soon.

It never cried. It never opened its eyes. The tiny ribcage did not expand as it was drawing air into its lungs, not yet developed far enough. She gazed into her sons face and she weeped silently. So beautiful was he, so perfect and so small. A lock of dark blonde hair was plastered to his skull, his lips curved slightly upwards and peaceful he lay in her arms, sleep everlasting.

But still the pain did not subside. She had felt something ripping inside, a burning sensation that set her innards aflame. The mage was lying in a bed of blood, red blossoming around her thighs, a flow that did not seem to stop.

The midwifes grew frantic and the templar guards were standing about uncertainly and uncomfortable. A weakened mage could easily fall prey to a demon. But this one seemed dying.

The midwifes assistant ran looking for help and finally came back with the Warden. Asha did not see Neria, her eyes had closed and her breath had become shallow.

They took the boy and wrapped him in white linens, while Neria chanted over her dying aquaintance. Her magic crackled about her, drawing power from the fade and hands glowing with an eery blue light. The air grew heavy and charged, a taste of lead on the tongues of the attendees. The templars disheartened had never seen anything like it before. The Wardens power was unmatched. In grim determination she worked on healing what had been ripped and torn. She had no great love for the other woman, but never would she let one die who could still be saved. When finally the bleeding was staunched and she had repaired the damages to Ashas body, the other mage lay pale and sleeping. They transferred her to a cot and changed the linens while Neria sat by the womans side. She did not speak, but a familiar pain resided in her chest.

„She's still sleeping?" Alistair came to his lovers side, a hand resting lightly on her arm. Neria nodded silently.

„You know there is nothing more you can do? You do not have to sit by her." He gently said, his voice so very low. And again the Warden nodded.

„It pains you. Not only on her behalf. Let someone else watch her, if only for a while." And his voice grew lower still. Neria looked at him, the memory of her own losses so quite alike distant but ever fresh on her mind.

They left the room together, the mage lay still and in deep slumber. A templar by the door, watchful should she rise changed, stood unmoving and waiting.

Dining together in the rooms they had been assigned at the Keep, secluded and in private Alistair and Neria spoke still in hushed tones.

„I may have wished it upon her." Nerias gaze was hard, but guilt and doubt were lying underneath the composed fassade. Though unmoved she might seem to anyone else, Alistair knew her pain.

„You would not have in earnest and even though it makes no difference. With us, it is the taint. Whatever happened here, I do not know." He hung his head in sadness. Though he was never as happy as with Neria, the family they would probably never have was a sore spot, the memory of what they'd lost themselves renewed.

The elf sighed. „It's not terribly unusual. These things happen even to healthy women. I know and though I do..."

„It's not fair." Alistair stepped round the table and held her. Together they stood, eyes quite dry but with a heavy heart nonetheless.

In Caer Bronach the Commander examined the fortifications and the forces of the garrison. There had been reports of darkspawn in the area and some minor troubles with bandits. He could be very satisfied. The soldiers were well trained and disciplined, their captains dutiful and determined.

Repairs at the keep had progressed in a fast and efficent manner. No simple group of bandits would have any hope of recapturing the now heavily fortified base. Townsfolk were coming over from Crestwood village from time to time and brought food and even flowers for the soldiers. Though some of these would protest it being herbs and not flowers at all.

Since Adaar had gotten rid of the dragon that had harried the region everyone was feeling much more relaxed. Under the Inquisitions protection the village had perked up considerably. A new major had been appointed and on the remains of Old Crestwood, now free of demons, they had begun to build new houses and cultivate the former bottom of the lake as farm land. Apparently the soil was quite fertile now and everyone was expecting a bountiful harvest the next year.

But the matter of darkspawn remained. Though only single stragglers had been seen so far, all easily taken care of by the Inquisitions soldiers, the fear of it becoming more was there. Crestwood had once before fallen prey to the blight and monsters rising from the deep.

The Commander had led two small skirmishes, forging ahead into some caves around the area. The soldiers had then sealed some of the deeper tunnels, where more creatures would have been able to push through. For several days now everything had been quiet.

Then the letter came. Cullen had not expected message from the Skyhold so soon. Another week he would have stayed, observing matters personally. Some minor lord had wanted to meet a representative of the Inquisition and, though not entirely satisfied with it being just the Commander of her forces in the area, had made an appointment just that evening.

Cullen did not look forward to sitting through hours and hours of polite conversation, watching his every word, as not to misstep in those circles of society he was still not used to. The letters waxen seal was black and his face paled at once as he held it in his hands.

Dismissing the scout who had handed him the missive he sat down at his desk with a heavy sigh. Though feeling a sense of dread he opened it carefully, as not to rip it in his haste. It was Adaars hand, letters big and lacking elegance, but neat and legible all the same.

Her tone was grave, yet did she not command him back to the Hold. However she allowed him to cut his visit in Caer Bronach short should he wish so. The lines blurred before his eyes. It was not fair.

The evening, sitting at the lords banquet, raising his glass to toasts mechanically he tried to swallow the pain. Feeling numb he attempted to follow table talk in vain, politely nodding now and then, two of the officers he brought along making an effort on carrying the conversation. Of the five lavish courses of the dinner, he tasted nothing. The few bites he got down were without flavor on his tongue and on his mind the child he would never hold.

When at last the Commander excused himself, naming urgent matters at the Skyhold as reason for his early departure nobody could quite fault him for it. His face looked drawn and haggard in the gloomy firelight of the braziers and speculations arose about the man feeling ill.

He departed Caer Bronach the very same evening, carefully leading his horse over dark and slippery roads. It would not do to have the creature break a leg in the gloominess around them. Reaching more accomodating grounds he urged the horse into a faster pace and arrived at the Skyhold many hours later, his coat drenched by a cold drizzle. The dawn had done nothing for his mood, though the rain had soon subsided and now the sun standing high in a blue sky felt warm and gentle on his unshaven face.

He handed the reins over to a stableboy and went straight into the great hall. Varric was sitting at one of the tables, obviously immersed in his writing with great care. As the dwarf glanced at the Commanders face, standing there armour and coat still dripping wet, he nearly gasped aloud.

„Damn Curly, looking ghastly. Will you sit down?"

The Commander ignored the nickname and shook his head, droplets of water flinging themselves from his hair. He turned his tired gaze to the dwarf. „Where is she?" He asked, more weariness than urgency in the words.

„If you mean your wife, she should be resting still. I can show you where." Varric stood slowly, pushing his paperwork aside.

„Thank you Varric." Cullen replied in a low voice. „I'll be along in a minute. Josephine has to know I'm back, I guess she'll inform the others." He walked over to the small bureau the Inquisitions diplomat maintained near the war room.

When she saw him the Antivan rose and hugged him carefully. „I'm so sorry." She said in her heavily accented voice, not quite meeting his eye. The Commander just nodded, stepping back slightly, not wanting to spoil the fine silk of the ambassadors clothes, wet as his own were.

„Reporting back in, Josephine." His tired voice did not betray his feelings but ruefully he added: „I think I messed up at the evenings dinner yesterday. I hope Lord Sutton will excuse my lack of attention."

„Do not worry about it. We will think of something and anyway, he's just a minor lord." Josephine was sympathetic, voice and glances. It was almost too much to bear.

„Thank you. Pray tell Adaar I'm back and will give my written report as soon as I'm able." This said he made a hasty escape.

On Varrics urging he went to his own quarters, dressing in clean and dry clothes, not putting his armour back on. The heavy leather coat had left him mostly untouched by the rain underneath, but the urgent pace of his riding had him sweating and rumpled. When they went to the chamber near the mage-tower, where Asha was accomodated he felt better for it. Though still heavy of heart he was at least dry and presentable, as to better put on a brave face for his lover.

Varric rapped his fingers against the wooden door, pushing it open with he other hand. Entering the room they were met with the cold gaze of Neria Surana, sitting beside the mages bed. They had been talking apparently, but conversation stopped upon the mens intrusion.

„Excuse me." The Warden said, brushing rudely by the Commander while slipping out of the room. The look she gave him was short of murderous, but he could not care less. Varric, still a hold on the door left with the elven mage, while Cullen and Asha remained.

„You are out of armour." She observed and smiled wearily. In her outstretched arms her lover fell, hugging her close. Once more he felt he had almost lost her, another close brush with death as they were so used to having. And then there was the future they would have to say goodbye to too. Never would he teach his son how to hold a sword. Never would his smile light up his day when retiring to their quarters. Never would he even see him, as the child lay already buried in a corner of the Keeps graveyard.

„Adaar saw to it they would not just .. dispose of him." Asha said quietly, looking at her hands. „He was so small, so very small, but beautiful and perfect. I wish you could have seen." Her voice died down, she would not choke on tears, not now.

„We will visit his grave together." Cullen held her hands. They looked so thin and white, the ring he had given her gliding easily over her finger. „You have not been eating well?" He inquired, voice steady and calm for her sake as much as his own.

„Not very hungry I fear. I lost a bit of blood, but it will be fine. Some weeks and I shall be back to normal." She said, but Asha knew that normal would be much to hope and surely not in a few weeks. Though the bloodloss had been extensive her body would recover soon, but her heart was hurting badly. The child though unplanned had been a blessing, something to look forward to. She had felt it moving, had welcomed it and loved it already. And now it was gone, just like that.

Outside the room, where the couple talked in hushed voices Varric eyed up the elven Warden suspiciously.

„What is it dwarf?" Neria finally asked exasperated.

„You can surely keep glaring daggers at Curly over there, but if you let Adaar catch you doing so she might rescind her offer to help you." Varric followed the Warden along the corridor. „I don't know what quarrel you have, but I think you may misjudge him."

The elf sighed. „There is a history. And maybe he has changed, but that man was a templar for so long. He'll one day be the death of her and no mistake."

„Because your warden Alistair is so totally not a templar." The dwarf quipped.

„He has never taken their vows. **He** has never hated us so." She hissed between her teeth. She could not forget that baleful glare she once received. Always feeling less than amiable towards the templars in the circle Neria had almost warmed up to the friendly demeanor of young Cullen. The templar who had stumbled over his words, confessing to have stood over her unconscious body sword in hand when she took her harrowing. Who admitted he was glad she did return unpossessed so he had not been forced to take her life. And then she had to go, just to return and find him changed. So full of hate and ready to strike out at any mage, all of whom he suspected of being bloodmages and host to demons. It may have been unjustified, but Neria had felt betrayed. She had walked away then, taking the mages to her battle in Denerim and never looked back.

Varric just shook his head. There was hurt in the wardens eyes, but he would not be the one in whom to confide. Or maybe he would learn more about that mage when they were on the road, searching for Avernus. Dorian had still not arrived, but Adaar was not willing to leave without him. He could not begrudge her that, as he would feel better too with the Tevinter mage by their side.

Their worries regarding that could be amended soon, as Dorian did arrive just one day after Varric had spoken to Neria. Adaar was overjoyed and did almost crush the mage in an affectionate hug.

„Now my dear Lady Inquisitor, I know I'm irresistable, but as much as I like you, I like breathing better." The tevinter mage wheezed and the Inquisitor relented.

Apparently there had been some delay on the way of Dorian who had initially planned to arrive almost a week sooner. First there was an issue about some magisters who demanded his attendence at some official meetings that really ought to have taken place earlier in the year. But apparently the arrival of Dorian Pavus in the vicinity of their homes had initiated some bustling activity about their estates and there had to be recipiences. When he finally had managed to escape the clutches of the nobles, bandits on the road where throwing themselves into his way and to their inevitable doom.

Dorian had not suffered even a scratch, but his horse had been badly wounded just in the middle of nowhere, so he had to walk quite a distance before he could find a replacement.

When the mage had concluded the account on his adventures on the way he listened intently to Adaars tale of their latest fight against the First Warden and his enthralled warriors. The letters she had written had not been too precise in the details so he was happy to hear a more vivid retelling of the whole story.

Dorian was quite sorry there was not enough time to play a bout of chess with the Commander, but conveyed to him his deepest sympathies about the loss he had suffered. Though he was quite surprised, that in his absence, which Dorian felt had not been that long, the man should have found a girl to marry. As Cullen did not seem in the mood for jests he swallowed his comment on how that ruined his chances, and so soon after he was so crestfallen about seeing the Bull enter into a relationship with their Inquisitor. He doubted the former templar would have taken this as good humoured as it was intended.

After some splendid food and a good night of sleep the Inquisitors party finally left Skyhold. Before Adaar had personally sought out Asha, lamenting the fact, that she could not drag the weakened mage along on their journey. Asha however was quite glad that there was no travel ahead of her just now. Not only did she still feel weak as a newborn kitten, the bloodloss still taking a toll on her, but there was the inevitable condition right after birth, a messy business that as she knew would still last some weeks. Nothing she wanted on the road.

Being away would have been a distraction from the pain she felt because there was no baby to hold for her, just a grave to visit when she felt ready to leave her sickbed. The Inquisitor had laid down some Andrastes Grace she had told her, white flowers with a sweet scent. Leliana loved them and she had thought them right for the babe. Asha was thankful, but tried not to think to much about it in the Inquisitors presence as she was not willing to part from her with tears in her eyes.

When the group left the courtyard there was much cheering. The Inquisitor travelling with the fabled Grey Wardens who had slayn the archdemon of the fifth Blight, that was the stuff of heroes tales. Maybe Varric would even write it in a book and he had aquired quite a lot of fans around the Keep lately. From the window of her room Ashas gaze followed them down the bridge and through the passes until their silhouettes vanished in the white haze of the mountains.


	19. Feeling Sparks 4

She had come to Cole seeking advice. The spirit did not frighten her, but his insight was fascinating. Asha knew that Adaar used to talk to the elusive boy about the feelings of her companions, of the others at the Keep. If her husband was not giving her any answers and left her in a state of dread she hoped the boy could shed some light onto his thoughts regarding her.

She knew Cullen to be absorbed in his work, but in these weeks and months since Adaar had left he was almost fleeing her presence. How often had she been lying awake in the bed they shared, cold and waiting. He often sat at his desk until the hour grew late, waiting for her to fall asleep before he slid under the covers himself. She would not have wondered if he had put a sword down in between them for the nights.

He pretended there was nothing to it, that there just was so much work to do in the Inquisitors absence, but often she found him looking at her with an expression so far away, detached. If he did not want her anymore, if he thought their union had been a mistake, why would he not just say so? She had lost their child, a hollowness remaining inside her heart that would probably never be mended, but it was no ones fault, neither his nor hers. Did he blame her? Was it that?

Cole would know, perhaps. So she went to the spirits corner in the tavern to inquire. It did not seem right to ask about Cullens feelings, to probe into something that was personal, but Cole knew no qualms regarding this and she just had to know.

Cole smiled at her weakly, he had felt her pain and seemed to know her question even before the mage spoke. „Nightmares getting worse. Ever more to lose. He does not know how to make her see. He seeks the blue, but shies away from it. Never again. He does not want to hurt her more."

„Thank you Cole." Asha sighed. „I guess he knows I'm worrying. I wish he would not try to evade me."

Cole blinked and nodded. „He fears to touch. Losing control when her body beckons him. Must stay strong. Never cry. He will not risk to lose her."

Asha grit her teeth. That stubborn man. In evading her he risked to do just that. How could she be sure of his love, when all he showed her was the barest of touches, the smallest whisper of reassurance, just to be abandoned all too soon again. But apparently he still cared, relief washed over her. If he had just wanted her gone she would have found a way. There were so many places where a mage could make a living nowadays. She would have set him free gladly if that was what he wished.

No, they needed to talk. It was apparent he was not just overworked but still struggling with his feelings and their loss. And while she shared some of his pain, Asha was not willing to be overcome by it and neither should he be.

„Her pain is great too." Cole suddenly continued. „Confused, uncertain, suspicious. She eyes them all with distrust though she needs to feel safe. She finds solace in the arms of the one but expects betrayal by all others. And she fears she cannot pay him back."

„Who are you talking about?" Asha took a step closer to the boy.

„The beacon, the saviour. The one who valued life higher than fidelity. She went. Searching for deliverance. In truth it's friends she needs." Coles gaze met the mages eyes. There was a connection there, the two women though quite different in some regards alike as well.

„You are very kind Cole. I thank you." Asha smiled at him. „I'm glad you do not make me forget."

„Oh, I ought not to." The boy shook his head with conviction. „Varric says it makes me more human, alive. He is my friend. I would like more friends, like him and Adaar and the Bull."

„Not Cullen though?" Asha could not imagine her lover would be very enthusiastic to the idea of friendship with the spirit of compassion residing in their midst.

„He is very nice. Strong, protecting, calm. But he still distrusts. You are more accepting."

She could easily believe that. The cold fear of demons ran still deep. Her own confrontation with demons in the fade had been less terrifying. She had never been the most skilled of mages, but she knew what she was doing. It was not so hard if you knew your enemies tells, if you knew you could fight them or how to avoid them at all. Her harrowing had went smoothly, even if it took her an average time. Neria had completed hers so fast, everyone had been quite astonished. Asha was a bit older and had already been a full-fledged mage by then. She could not help to admit there had been a bit of envy at her part. But that did not last long, as soon after the Grey Warden had conscripted Neria when Jowan had escaped using bloodmagic and the elfs trust. It seemed just one betrayal of many the other mage had to suffer.

Some of the history during the Blight had been portrayed to Asha by Alistair, during their journey through the Deep Roads. How could she fault the other woman for her mistrust when she had been lied to and abandoned so often before. Even most of the companions she had befriended during the Blight had left, though not in bad blood. But the hurt went deep, when only Alistair remained.

And even he had to leave her eventually when Neria left for Amaranthine. It made Asha want to reach out to the Hero of Ferelden who she perceived as quite lonesome now. But to try anything like that they would have to come back to the Keep first.

There had been word from Adaar on some occasion. The bloodmage Avernus was an elusive one and seemingly hard to be found, but Alistair was on his track. The appearance of quite a few darkspawn and several demons had delayed the search and it seemed their quarry had gone underground. In the Inquisitors last missive she had stated, that they were in search of some entrance to the old dwarven tunnels, not only to find Avernus, but just as much so they could find the source of the darkspawn streaming into the area.

„_Darkspawn at every corner and not really a sign of that blighter Avernus except for some demons that Alistair thinks are probably of his doing. We have lost some of the men, but none to corruption at least. Potions do not much good against beheadings or disembowelment by rusty swords sadly, maybe our mages can work on something for that next."_

Adaar wrote.

„_On a lighter note, at least I don't have to deal with flying cattle or Venatori here. Both are a nuisance and if you have matters like that to sit judgement over again Josie, I beg you to take care of it before we come back. Maybe Leliana or Cullen like to decide what happens with the next poor sod that angers us. Don't we still have some spare stakes to mount heads on? No don't think about it, I don't want to be greeted by even more of that when we come back. You would take the darkspawn for more civilized, but apparently they enjoy decorating."_

The soldiers they had sent ahead had made some camps around Ostagar and the Wilds and were fighting valiantly as well. It was still nothing like the fifth Blight down there, but Adaar thought the Wardens were getting nervous and so was she. Things did not at all look good and their presence was not only needed for Nerias search but for the defense of the last small settlements in the region. It would take them more time still before they could come back.

The contents of the Inquisitors letters had been relayed to the meagre rest of her inner circle still in attendence of the Keep. Blackwall was brooding silently in his stables, chipping away at some wooden project of his and only speaking the barest of words. Sera was more talkative, but Asha was not so very inclined to talk to her at length. At any occasion she had the feeling the other woman was either making fun of her or offended by her blunt words if she did not care for a joke the elf made. Leliana and Josephine were deeply immersed in their respective work and anyway Leliana tended to be too intimidating and Josephine always seemed to be too high in status for Asha to consort with the likes of her.

Cassandra was gone too by now, but they did not have much in common before, so Asha was not too sad about that. And though Cole was pleasant and calm he could not make up for the absence of Varric, Adaar and the Iron Bull. During their travels the other three had endeared themselves to the mage and she missed them dearly, especially since no one else among the Keeps residents seemed to display an equal kind of humour. There should have been Cullen. She knew he could be witty if he had a mind to be, but it was so hard to find him in a good mood lately.

The door was stuck, closed, barricaded. Why? The Commander probed again, a tentative push, the wood was not budging in the least. Someone had trapped him. It was bad enough to be caught inside a small room, it was worse to be caught in the privy. Who would have done something like that?

He knocked against the wooden door that so effectively barred him from the outside. There was only one person currently at the Keep that would have the audacity to attempt something like that.

„SERA?"

Sure enough the elfs joyful voice answered him from the other side of the door. „Sure took you some time. Good thinking in there?"

Cullens fists clenched at his sides, his eyes briefly closed he fought a surge of temper that threatened to well up. If he wanted to get out of there soon he guessed, that he would have better chances if he kept as calm as possible. The woman was insufferable. And the place where she had decided to confine him even more so. He did not want to spend more time there than necessary.

He breathed out slowly. „Why?"

Cullen could hear the wood creak softly as Sera leaned against the door with one shoulder. „Wagered if one wanted you to listen one had to be imaginative. Impossible to get a word in when you run around over the courtyard or hide behind that huge desk of yours."

„I am working, I do not hide." He could just imagine the smug face of the elf. But what in Andrastes name had she to talk about?

„Yeah, you say that, but we see right through you."

Now that was a new one. We? That couldn't be any other Red Jennys. Had the crazy woman pulled any others of their companions into that sheme of hers? But who could be crazy enough to go with it? Sera gave the answer to the unspoken question.

„Cole is not happy with you right now. But I told him I would take care of it. Don't want him skewered by a sword."

„I do not make a habit of killing our Allies." Cullen tried to sound as calm as he could, but really that was just unreasonable. Why should he harm the boy if he approached him to talk? He would have prefered a conversation with the admittably unsettling rogue over being stuck in the privy.

„Sheesh, no, surely not. I know you warrior-types, once they hand you a sword you eagerly put it where it has no business to be. Stabbity stab." The taunting voice made the former templar roll his eyes. He knew perfectly where to .. put his sword and when to keep it sheathed. He shook his head.

„Sera, I do not want to break this door but I will if I must. Let me out!"

„Oh well, but you're going to talk to that girl of yours. Seing her sorrowful face at dinner totally spoils my appetite. Cole says you did something, so make it better. I want to eat in peace."

So that was what this was about? Since when did Sera care? But if Asha was so downtrodden, that even Sera noticed and began to mind, maybe he should confront her.

„Fine," he said. „I will, if you open that door." Maybe this evening he would try to have supper with his wife, it was true enough he had avoided meetings like that for a while now. The door swung open and Sera stood there, grinning broadly with her hands on her hips.

„Well, you better go find her now." She shrugged. „I locked her in your quarters some time before I could even find you. If she didn't burn the doors down she'll be surely glad someone gets her out." And with that she was gone. Cullen touched the bridge of his nose, this was not reasonable. Nevertheless he did not want his doors burned down and he did not like the thought of his wife confined to his quarters at all. She had been a prisoner often enough in her life, surely she did not enjoy her confinement in the least, even if the quarters were surely more comfortable than the privy.

When he opened the door to his tower on the battlements with some difficulty, apparently Sera had tinkered with the locks quite a bit, he found her sitting at his desk with a book in hand.

Asha smiled up at him, an open genuine smile that tugged at his heartstrings.

„Commander." She said. „I thought you would come, though it took you some time. I have been here for the past two hours I guess. You should invest in some more interesting books."

He could not see any fault with tomes on military tactics and history of warfare. The room was surprisingly clean and the doors had no scorchmarks whatsoever, someone seemed to have more patience than him. Two hours? He would have needed a new door then.

„I reorganized the papers on your desk and the books in your shelf are now in alphabetical order." She continued, putting the one she had been reading back into its place. The bookspine read „History of the Templar Order", surely enough it went between „Heroic deeds of Thedas' great Generals" and „Inspiring your troops – A manual for Command".

„That's, I," he fumbled for words. „Actually I wanted to do that for quite some time now. Never got around to it." He gestured weakly to the bookshelf, still standing in the open doorway.

Asha went over to him and pulled the door shut.

„I know you probably have work to do and so do I, but," she sighed. „We really ought to talk about .. us."

He sank down to his chair gesturing to the one on the other side of his desk. She was right, they were here and the moment was as good as any, the things between them, left unspoken for too long where weighing on him as well as on her. He could not help but think it was his fault.

„I showed you a certain neglect in the past weeks I guess." Elbows on his desk he kept his gaze fixed on his hands. How could he tell her what he feared, why he had acted like he did.

„I should have confronted you earlier instead of thinking you want me gone." Her words made him look at her with sudden dread. To have her think that. That had never been his intention.

„You had wanted to protect my honour and surely the thought of having a family of your own was comforting." She continued. „But it seemed no longer necessary and you evaded me. When I tried to get closer to you, you flinched away. Don't think I did not see that." Asha smiled sadly as he shook his head. „I beg you forgiveness, I did ask Cole, because I wanted to be sure before I leave and set you free. It was prying into your thoughts, your feelings, but you did not speak to me before."

Cullen took her hand, reaching out towards him over the desk. It seemed so small in his gloved one.

„I guess he told you that I do not want you gone?" He ventured. „At first I needed time, I thought that you would too."

„I needed **you**, still do." Her voice was low but reassuring.

He continued. „Neria spoke to me before she went away with Adaar."

Asha narrowed her eyes. She could quite imagine what the other mage had told him. How dare she.

„You could have been killed. You almost were..." He pressed her hand so hard, as if he feared to lose her even now if his hold on her faltered.

„I would not. I'm stronger than that. I would not die that easily. And you would not have been responsible." She stood and would have paced if not for his grip around her hand. The mage would not pry loose from him now. Sighing she sat down again.

„You must see that it was not your fault. That these things happen and not always do they do in quite that dramatic a fashion. I wept for our son. I still grieve and probably always will. But nobody can change that. The bleeding on the other hand .. there is almost no possibility of it happening again, Nerias healing is astonishing, her power. Her empathy not so much."

„You would risk that again?" Cullen looked at her pensively and Asha smiled.

„Well, pregnancy? Not so soon for sure. But one day I would really like to try again." She caressed his fingers with her free hand. „But that does not mean you ought not to touch me. I like being touched, I still want to be kissed and .. you know what."

„Do I now?" Cullen smiled but forced himself back into a more serious expression. „We did not plan on children the first time. If .."

She laughed. „I was a downright idiot that time, forgetting that you are a templar. Or were, not that it matters, your abilities are part of you, so second nature like my magic. I promise there are other ways. Potions and the like. No reliance on magic anymore, less surprises?"

He had not thought about it like that. Keeping a certain distance between them as not to invite temptation had seemed so much easier than talking about that kind of things with her, but she did not seem shamed at all. Maybe it was a testament to their difference in experience, at least in regard to this topic.

At last Asha went over to him, brushing her lips lightly against his.

„I'll see you for supper?" She asked and was met with a slightly panicked gaze by Cullen.

„Stew?" He asked weakly.

She sighed. „We won't ever forget that one, won't we? I promise I won't cook. So, in the tavern when the sun sets?" He could live with that.

Admittedly, raised in the tower the mages culinary skills were quite lacking even if she meant well. After their travelling the Deep Roads with Alistair she had picked up some cooking-tips from the warden and that just made matters worse. Before she at least knew the food she prepared was barely edible, but somehow she seemed to have developed a taste for the grey stew the warden had called a fereldan delicacy. Cullen had grown up in Ferelden and was pretty sure something like that with indistinguishable contents was neither a special treat nor even widely considered as food. His mother had been a pretty good cook. Maybe it was time he took Asha for a visit to South Reach.


End file.
